Ridiculous, embarrassing accidents/injuries..

[FlouncyMcFlouncer]

I have just trapped a nipple between two plastic laundry baskets and almost severed it. Unbelievably painful, unbelievably embarrassing to tell anyone about in RL!!

Make me feel better by telling me your humiliating mishaps? Happy to bask in the warmth of other's distress

[zebrafinch]

As a child had to go to Casualty with a grapefruit pip in my ear. < thanks Dad for pushing it deeper when trying to extract it> It was very painful.

[cafecito]

oinkling - ouch!!

[MajesticWhine]

Yankee - any details?

[McButtonwillow]

Using my new dyson Hoover recently when I was taking the hose attachment off and it got stuck to my boob and sucked in half of it but luckily I managed to turn it off before my nipple got sucked in too. Was bloody ouchy and I can vouch for their claim of no loss of suction.

[flummoxedlummox]

foreverhot I had to be taken to A&E as a toddler as I did get a saucepan stuck on my head as a toddler playing soldiers

[MajesticWhine]

Ok, here's mine. I was around 12/13 years old at a convent boarding school. I was fed up that I hadn't started my periods yet, and everyone else had so I was "practising" with tampons. I got one stuck having not unwound the string. I eventually went to the school nurse who, rather alarmingly, was a nun, and she had a go but couldn't get it out. I had to go to a local clinic and have it winched out with a metal instrument. Very uncomfortable. Prepared me for childbirth though.

[SisterMatic]

Mcbuttonswillow I howled, sorry.

[hashtagwhatever]

the horse down the stairs is hilarious.

[hashtagwhatever]

I once thought to myself whilst eating a ice lolly, I wonder if it is true ice sticks to your tounge? hmmm

it fucking does I panicked and pulled the ice lolly quickly off resulting in about 3 layers of skin off my tounge.

hurt for days and days.

[Littlefish]

Only those of us with truly huge norks can understand.... My lovely, but tiny breasted, sister simply could not understand what had happened when I tried to explain!

[foreverhot]

flummoxedlummox I thought sauspans stuck on head was an urban myth Clearly not!

We've got one of these, the green bit comes off. DD took it out and then pushed the white part down over hear head. Wedged on pretty damn tight!

[ecofreckle]

I like possible potty on head in a and e story best so far!
Mine was on first day of new job. Went to toilet for a wee. Wiped self and it felt like I'd stabbed myself with a shard of glass. Looked in toilet. Wasp. Must have been on toilet roll. It was a sting kind of inside the lips if that's not too much info. Couldn't share with anyone else as was new. Spent much of afternoon on Google which told me that no one appeared to have been stung on the fanjo before. I got some ice from kitchen and put in plastic bag down pants. This meant I rustled but worst of all it leaked all through my jeans. They must have thought I was an odd un.

[foolserrand]

I recently wound up in A&E (under the advisement of nhs direct) because, whilst trying to remove a stud earring, I managed to pull the front off. The spike was pulled into my ear, along with a solder blob and I couldn't get it back out the front, nor could I pull it all out the back. Tried, hurt, stopped. My ear started swelling. Dp was called back from work to watch small dcs while the triage nurse yanked it out.

This happened weeks ago and the arsehole is still taking joy from the fact I am now a statistic as "injured by an earring".

[FlouncyMcFlouncer]

ecofreckle OMFG @ fanjowasp!

[flummoxedlummox]

foreverhot all my six older siblings took the piss for years. I was a very accident prone child and still have many scars from childhood at age 47 none from saucepangate, apart from emotional

[CoolaSchmoola]

Got up to the loo at some unholy hour last night. In my half asleep state managed to somehow stick my finger through the loo roll straight into my inner fanjo.....

I have long, and apparently SHARP nails. Woke up pretty sharpish when the searing pain hit, followed by blood.

Have spent today being stingingly reminded of those awful first weeks after childbirth, and it is still bleeding sporadically FFS!

[ecofreckle]

Shudder indeed. I have told a few people but don't think they appreciate the 'intimacy' of the sting!

[StealthToddler]

18m old gave me a black eye playing with a toy piano. Looked great in all the Christmas photos.....
DH broke a finger hitting a golf ball. Nurse didn't believe him.

[QueenofallIsee]

this will totally out me but dd had best one ever. call from school to collect her mid morning, message said 'emergency dental trip needed'..raced there imagining teeth knocked out or braces broken. arrived to find dd in reception with a pen stuck in her braces. it was hanging there like a tusk. she had been chewing it in class and got it looped round. apparently she wrestled with it for almost a whole lesson before admitting what she had done. it gave her a lisp due to where is was stuck. i took one look at her, heard her lisp 'thorry mum' and fell about laughing

[CarefulUpThere]

This wasn't embarrassing as such but did feel pretty ridiculous...

As a student we got to observe a few births, if mother to be agreed of course. I tried to help out where i could. After one quite quick and intense labour the midwife asked me to open a glass vial for her (syntocinon?) but instead I managed to jab it practically through my thumb...it bled loads!

There was already lots of blood etc as poor woman just given birth, whilst i the eejit student was distracting her midwife by bleeding more over everything!

Whoever you were- I am sorry!

[GinGuzzler]

Oinkling!

MrGin has never done that but I bet he can feel your pain

[YankeeAlphaBravoUniform]

Details? Nothing too dramtic, but I had dislocated my kneecap, which meant I could not move. I did manage to get the top half coveed before help arrived, so that was a dege of a blessing.

It was a comedy of errors that night, but it all ended simply enough when they dropped the stretcher a little on a spiral staircase and that reloacted the knee. I then leapt off the stretcher and relocated my clothes.

[Bertrude]

I broken a bone in my hand playing golf Stealth so I definitely believe him!

I have also had chillifanjo, by getting a little frisky with husband after he had just eaten some chillis. Couldn't sit down for a while.

I also burnt my stomach whilst ironing naked. I swooshed the iron a little too dramatically as I was in a rush, and ended up with a horizontal burn on my belly right where the waistband of my trousers had to sit all day. That one fucking hurt.

[MisselthwaiteManor]

I leaned across the table and dunked my boob in a bowl of hot soup, I was wearing a flimsy Tshirt which sort of soaked it up and held the soup on my skin. First time I've flung my top off before the end of a meal.

[starsandunicorns]

When I was a toddler my mum would tuck me in again before going to bed herself I used wave arms about caught her eyes a couple of time my dad was dragged in by his CO as he was RAF and was quizzed about hitting my mum my mum would remind me all the the time