I have just trapped a nipple between two plastic laundry baskets and almost severed it. Unbelievably painful, unbelievably embarrassing to tell anyone about in RL!!
Make me feel better by telling me your humiliating mishaps? Happy to bask in the warmth of other's distress 
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Ridiculous, embarrassing accidents/injuries..
284 replies
FlouncyMcFlouncer · 28/08/2013 22:05
OP posts:
TVTonight ·
30/08/2013 10:48
This reply has been deleted
Message withdrawn at poster's request.
SummerRain ·
30/08/2013 11:00
The other night i was opening the door for one of the cats. I reached down to stroke him at the exact moment he jumped for the windowsill next to the door.
4kg of ginger cat hitting you in the nose hurts more than you'd expect 
dp came running when he heard me scream but couldn't understand me when i told him what had happened due to the face that I was curled in a ball on the floor clutching my face with both hand 
GinGuzzler ·
30/08/2013 11:04
That reminds me Feminazi, we had had a really bad winter last year and there was lots of black ice. I was getting a lift to work 1 morning and as I stepped off the kerb to get into her car I slipped and half dissapeared under the back of her nissan juke. She couldn't see me but could see my shoe that had flew 3 metres over the road and could hear me crying her name. She had to pull her car forward, skare gingerly over the road for my shoe then try and help me up. We couldn't even get my OH to help as it was half 6 in the morning.
Eventually I'm standing, got to work putting a brave face on it dying inside wanting to cry in the end she sent me home as I was no good to anyone. work for the NHS and on feet all day as I had severely twisted my ankle and knee and had a bump so big on the back of my head it felt like an extra head had grown.
We still laugh about it. All she saw was me dissapear in her rear view mirror
WallaceWindsock ·
30/08/2013 11:37
About a month ago I half woke up in the middle of the night. Half asleep I saw some long black legs on the pillow next to me. DP woke up to me yelling "spider invasion" and throwing myself head first off the end of the bed. I landed upside down on my head and my body sort of thudded after. Had a thumping headache for days. DP sniggered for days. 
GinGuzzler ·
30/08/2013 12:16
OH has a clip on youtube that I filmed if him falling off a tree swing.
He spent a good half an hour pulling at it, hanging off it to see if it would take his weight. He was hapoy it would so got hold of it and swung. He returned to the side of the river bank and pushed himself off with great force to swing out even further. The handle snapped resulting in him doing a fandabulous faceplant into a rocky 1& half foot river. I couldn't breathe for laughing and all the way down the river were groups of people all with jumpy shoulders laughing at what we had all just witnessed. He did hurt his hand really quite bad but he was very 'macho' about it to make up for massive dent in his pride
GhostsInSnow ·
30/08/2013 13:14
gin he was useless, partly what amused me
He did redeem himself that day though, he walked off to work and round the corner at the top of a very steep bank found a man on the ground who'd fallen and had obviously broken something. He called an Ambulance, stayed with him and when the ambulance couldn't get up the hill for the ice he helped the paramedics gingerly get him down to the Ambulance, all of which made him very late for work. He did have a good excuse though.
GinGuzzler ·
30/08/2013 13:25
Charlie he sounds a lovely DS 
Your DH certainly went down with a clatter. I can empathise his pain glad I don't have cctv outside my door
soaccidentprone ·
30/08/2013 13:37
These are all brilliant
I might have to change my moniker as I haven't had an accident for 2 years now. I think that must be a record!
I was clearing the garden a few years ago at dusk. I ducked under the climbing frame to pick up a toy, but didn't duck far enough and whacked my nose on the crossbar.
I remember falling backwards with blood gushing from my nose, trying really hard not to lose consciousness. I rolled on my side so that I didn't drown in my own blood.
Dh thought I was playing a practical joke on ds1 who was helping me tidy up and didn't come out to help me. I had to shout for help. Dh sent ds1 with a single sheet of kitchen roll, and eventually an old tea towel.
I had broken my nose and had to lay on the sofa for the rest of the evening with an ice pack on my nose to get the swelling down. My friend also popped round to see me the same evening. I felt like a right div!
I also had to go to the opticians to have my glasses adjusted as my nose was so swollen. I thought my mum was going to wet herself laughing when she met me for lunch the day after.
I have also done the chilli fanny trick, and the falling out of the bath and hurting myself trick as well.
GinGuzzler ·
30/08/2013 13:39
I have just howled reading that!! How I wish I had witnessed that. If it was anywhere near as funny as the mental image I had reading it I bet it was hilarious!
All of these are brilliant.
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