Ridiculous, embarrassing accidents/injuries..

[FlouncyMcFlouncer]

I have just trapped a nipple between two plastic laundry baskets and almost severed it. Unbelievably painful, unbelievably embarrassing to tell anyone about in RL!!

Make me feel better by telling me your humiliating mishaps? Happy to bask in the warmth of other's distress

[MyNameHasBeenTaken]

The pain is in exactly the same place !

[MyNameHasBeenTaken]

Thanks pud.
I had no idea either.
They asked at least a million times "any recent injury? "
Ni, cant think of anything...
Got home, went to put pjs on and settle in bed. Thought... ooh, I had a dead leg the other day when I wore these.

[Pudmyboy]

OMG My name I didn't even know that was possible! Feel better soon!

[MyNameHasBeenTaken]

I am bed rest at the moment.
I was reading in bed last weekend and fell asleep. Sliding down inside my pjs .
2 trips to a&e later and I am on platelet thinners for the DVT causes by my PJ PJ wedgie from a pair of fleece pjs.

[Mrsmummy90]

Most embarrassing would be when I was 16 and discovered I had a latex allergy 🙊 had to go to the walk in centre to get my very swollen/painful ahem area... looked at

[WildHorsesRunInMe]

When I was a kid I was sliding down the stairs on a pillow and broke my middle finger

[firecracker69]

Just had a flashback from over 40 years ago.....

I fancied a few drags of one of mum's Benson and Hedges cigs so I helped myself to a dog end from the ash tray.

Early one Sunday morning, I sneaked downstairs with my precious dog end. My cunning plan was to tip toe across the kitchen, light the fag with mum's lighter, and nip outside to sample the nicotine. Unbeknown to me, Sam - our manic black Labrador - had pissed all over the lino, which just happened to be tinged with a mustardy pattern, helpfully camouflaging the immense pool beneath my naked feet.

As I excitedly tip toed towards the lighter, my pace increased as I reached the cold, yellow piss. Too late to stop.... I almost split myself in two.... as my legs parted ways and I seemed to shoot across the Lino at full speed before landing with a loud splash, on my back..... as the piss soaked into my hair and my lovely new white satin nightie.

I recall being winded so badly that I was on the floor for an eternity..... Sam licked his own piss off my face, before chewing the remnants of the Benson and Hedges fag that was never to touch my lips. Classy!!

[Robert1987]

Just found this thread - hilarious stuff!
As a 15yr old in my 1st job in the 70's, I was told to stick postage stamps on the outgoing post. I'm those days you had to lick the stamps. I was in a rush so licked a strip ofstamps and didn't realise until too late that the last one was stuck to my lip and the blighter would come off. So I ended up going round the office doing a final check to see if there was any last minute post - so embarassing. A bit later the top boss sent me on an errand to get some food for his lunch. So I had to walk up the busy High Street with the stamp still stuck to my bottom lip. I wouldn't have minded so much had it been 1st class but it was a 2nd class stamp lol. Took best part of the afternoon to prize it off and I had a sore skinned lip for days.

[HemlockStarglimmer]

Dusting the living room last week I tripped over something. Twisted as I fell forward hitting my head on the door which shut with a massive bang and whacked my forearm on a speaker.

My husband was on a conference call in the same room and had to stop what he was doing to see if I was alright

My arm hurt so badly that I only noticed the bump on my head the next day. Head is now fine but the arm is going through some lovely colour changes.

[monstermunching70s]

Rented a room in the house of a colleague at new job who had interestingly decorated the walls of the bathroom with bone china plates. Had a shower using the bath shower attachment and whilst stepping out of the bath I slipped a tiny bit and put my hand out to steady myself...would have been nothing to even comment on. However, I nudged one of the plates with my finger tip which fell off the wall, broke in half and when it hit the curved end of the bath gained momentum and slid towards my ankle partially slicing through my Achilles tendon. Cue Psycho style blood in shower and excruciating pain! Think I went into shock as patched myself up, put on some heels (kept the tendon cut closed) got on the bus and went to work. Was new in the city and had no family and house mate had gone away so just thought I'd better get on with it! Arrived dramatically as I literally fell through the door and had to be rushed to hospital. Doctors in A and E couldn't quite believe it and there was a steady stream of doctors who kept arriving whilst being stitched and plastered up who wanted to hear the tale.

[Aglet]

I have caught my boob in the nutcrackers a few times at Xmas.

[ILiveInAPineappleCoveredInSnow]

I was helping to move a very large chest of drawers, and was in my pyjamas.
As I manoeuvred it around a corner, a drawer opened, then slammed shut.
My nipple got slammed in the drawer. It was agony.
I dropped the chest of drawers and also broke a metatarsal as a result.
It was bad times. I wish I’d worn a bra!

[Animum2]

Sock not sick *

[Animum2]

So a couple weeks ago at work, I somehow managed to run over my left foot with office chair, it was a bit painful but it wasn't until I got home and took sick off to find a large bruise at the bottom of my big toe, didn't hurt at all, then last week when bruise was starting to fade, I felt a lump about halfway down my foot on the same trajectory as the big toe. Went to docs just for clarity and turns out that I've torn a ligament from the original injury (it will heal on its own) it's very itchy though


That will go with my displaced knuckle on my middle finger that I injured last year!

[ThreeGreenHippos]

UNINTENTIONALLY* I really should proof read what I write. 🤣

[ThreeGreenHippos]

I sprained both my feet in the midst of an argument over two months ago and had to go to A&E the day after because I could barely walk. I don't think the nurse and her student quite believed my story though since my voice was the biggest giveaway. Hopefully they just thought I had a sore throat! One thing I did learn from that though is to find better ways to release my anger rather than doing something that may result in intentionally hurting myself.

[TheSecondMrsAshwell]

Well, seeing as we're resurrecting this thread, I tripped over a tree root on BH Monday. Assorted bruises, winded myself....

And sprained both big toes.

I have been walking like a penguin since.

Next time the doc tells me to get more exercise, I shall tell her to get stuffed.

[FireBloodAndIce]

My beauty therapist friend burnt my bum hole and crack using too hot wax when training. She's great at it now! Reminder every time i sat down though.

[ThreadKillerSleepsInACoil]

Lmao at this thread, till I just gave myself an accidental fanjo wax thanks to a wandering sanitary pad.

Damn sticky strip can't stick to pants, but on lady garden its like fricking superglue.

[Itsallgonewoowoo]

I used to be a groom. One time while making the muck heap I jammed the pitch fork through my boot and foot, stepped back and trod on the broom head, clonking myself on the back of the head. Still have a lovely round scar on my foot.

DH got up after DTD, was still a bit stiff, chatting to me as he opened the door on his way to the bathroom and, clonk, smacked his willy so hard with the door edge the kids woke up. We said daddy had slipped and banged his head on the door.

[Maccapacca24]

I have a fair few! Mostly sex related.

Fairly inexperienced with 1st ever BF. He was a lot more experienced than me (and a bit of a dick). Was going down on him, when he, without warning (told you he was a dick), finished in my mouth. I only remember looking up at him completely startled, then throwing up all over him! Still makes me howl to this day. It all just came straight out all over him, the bedding, everything. I still can't even talk about semen in the mouth, or think about it without cackling like a witch.

Also farted in said BF's mouth once whilst warning him and trying so hard to wriggle away. He sulked so hard, refused to continue and left me lying in bed cackling away whilst he threw a tantrum that a 2yo would struggle to rival.

And my absolute favourite, which is not mine at all. So best friend had a love interest in uni, who had gone to the same high school as us. Said lad, had never had sex. He came across a girl on a night out, who lived in the same halls as him. They go back to his place and they have a bit of foreplay then dtd. After the act, he goes to his communal kitchen, to find himself covered, mouth and all, in blood, much to the horror of his flat mates. This is about 4am, and his parents are coming to pick him up at 8am to go home for Christmas. Poor lad, in his mangled state had to convince this girl to swap sheets with him. So his parents come to pick him up and he's got bloody bright pink unicorn bedding! Still makes me howl thinking about it. Poor lad.

[NannyKasey]

my exH and my DF both ended up with bruises on their forehead after sticking a wobble globe on there to amuse their DCs. I don't remember my DF doing it, but I laughed so much when exH did it I almost wet myself

[WellVersedInEtiquette]

Neighbours drive is attached to ours but is about three foot lower. Whilst carrying ds's very heavy isofix car seat to put back in my car I just miss stepped and suddenly was falling. I hit my knee hard and scraped my elbow. Leapt up in case anyone had seen me, fixed the seat into place, walked into the house and fell to the floor in floods! Something about grazing your knees makes you five again!

[Animum2]

I have two

1st one when I was 5 I stupidly put a coat over my head and rode my bike into the glass coffee table, glass tipped up and sliced straight down the side of my right eye, lucky not to hit the eye, have a 4 inch scar though

2nd one, running for a bus and completely torn my calf muscle, was the strangest feeling as my entire leg felt like it was exploding, then the bruising which covered the entire back of the leg

[AlpacaLypse]

I've just read half this thread with a weird sense of de ja vu, before realising that I'd actually contributed to it several times under at least two different old usernames - that's how long it's been running on and off!