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Original poster

Ridiculous, embarrassing accidents/injuries..

284 replies

FlouncyMcFlouncer · 28/08/2013 22:05

I have just trapped a nipple between two plastic laundry baskets and almost severed it. Unbelievably painful, unbelievably embarrassing to tell anyone about in RL!!

Make me feel better by telling me your humiliating mishaps? Happy to bask in the warmth of other's distress Grin

OP posts:
soaccidentprone · 30/08/2013 13:46

They aren't that bad (are they?)

And I still have all my digits and other body parts. Nothing missing, though I am extra careful nowGrin

oinkling · 30/08/2013 13:48

Gin The way everyone else seems to imagine it is exactly the way it happened. Although I have to imagine it too because from my perspective, I was inside a huge cardboard tube with my vision rapidly alternating between sky and ramp, sky and ramp, then a huddle of knocked-over classmates on top of me.

I just love that I was trying to minimise my embarrassment and inadvertently made it a million times worse. Smile

GinGuzzler · 30/08/2013 13:55

Grin @ sky and ramp

TwllBach · 30/08/2013 13:55

I have been shaking with silent laughter, reading this thread Grin

I don't really have anything to add... Unless my recent case of thrush thanks to an unplanned semi threesome counts.

ToriaPumpkin · 30/08/2013 13:57

When I was a teenager my bedroom was in the attic of a farmhouse, so low coombed ceilings.

While making my bed one day I walked straight into said ceiling and woke up a little while later lying flat on my back staring at the sky. It took me a few seconds to realise I was actually staring at my blue painted ceiling, still clutching the sheet.

Reastie · 30/08/2013 14:17

This thread is hilarious!

Nothing exciting to add other than Grin

Reastie · 30/08/2013 14:21

Oh yes just remembered. Once on holiday I was in the bathroom and bent down to pick up my towel and the edge of my boob touched the heated towel rail and it was so hot I got a burnt boob. It was so bad I've still got a bit of a scar. I spent the whole day of my holiday doing cold compressions to the area and moaning dramatically DH was very keen to check it was OK and very helpful with the cold compressions Hmm

I complained to the holiday company afterwards mainly so someone else didn't burn any of their delicate areas as it was so burning hot (the other ones in the house were fine, just my blinking one was dodgy). They sent me a £50 voucher off our next holiday and probably got a giggle in the office Grin

GhostsInSnow · 30/08/2013 14:40

Toria has just reminded me of another....

When DS was about 9 I did one of those stupid on the spot Ikea purchases of a loft bed. Now, we don't live in a big, high ceilinged victorian, oh no, a pretty standard modern semi.
It became apparent that the space between bed and ceiling wasn't much, but DS and I determined to tough it out.

Next morning DS comes downstairs with a perfect pattern of red, angry dots on his forehead. He'd forgotten he was in a loft bed, sat up as he usually did and met the artexted stippled ceiling with a wallop.

I admitted defeated and sawed 2ft off the legs.
Blush

macthecatsmum · 30/08/2013 14:45

Oh one from my youth-at my best friend's house. I fancied her brother like mad. Sunday lunch-roast potatoes-so hot they made thermite look like an ice lolly. sticks to roof of mouth. I'm trying to flirt as well as being all lovely for my potential ILs(ha) When i could talk and asked for a drink of water, the blister covered the whole roof of my mouth.
the second one because it makes me feel better about being an idiot was youngest ds. fairground-funhouse-the two planks of wood going backwards and forwards. falls and somehow catches his upper thigh. how high up?-it almost put paid to grandkids. had to go to 1st aid and a and e. all i could hear on the other side of the door was dh, bil, other ds s and dns pissing themselves laughing. all holiday they would do a mime of planks going back and forward with an eeek eeek sound.

Allthatglitters789 · 30/08/2013 14:45

Mine would have to be the time I folded a plastic deck chair on my boob Blush bought tears to my eyes and still have the scar now.

GinGuzzler · 30/08/2013 14:45

I just knew it was going to be stipple Grin Grin

foxybingodotcom · 30/08/2013 15:23

Almost everytime - when we move from naked cuddle to goint to DTD my DH levers himself up wtih his elbow on my bingo wing - actual agony. Puts you right off the notion.

YourMaNoBraBackOfMyCar · 30/08/2013 15:49

7 months pregnant and I'd gone to the pub next door with two colleagues after finishing my shift. I had on a pair of new boots that had no grip on the soles whatsoever and ended up slipping and doing the splits by accident. It was loud and busy. No one really noticed I'd gone for a Burton and as I slipped one foot ended up under a stool. I had no choice but to tap a random man on the arse so he could stand up and set me free. He had a bemused look on his face and seemed a bit pissed off that I'd bothered him. A couple on the next table came to help me up. He just stood holding the stool until I had been helped up. Tool.

MummyPig24 · 30/08/2013 15:50

I'd just started a new job aged 18, me and another girl went out for a ride. We were cantering pretty fast down the track and saw a low branch. We assumed the horses would keep on going so we ducked. The horses stopped dead, we both somersaulted straight over their heads. My friends hat came down and smacked her on the Nose, causing it to bleed. I flew straight into the nettle and bramble bushes. I was covered in scratches and stings including on my face.

catsmother · 30/08/2013 15:55

This thread is somewhat like a better than usual episode of 'Miranda' .....

.... plenty of ideas for her next series here!

GinGuzzler · 30/08/2013 15:59

I have remembered another,

Me aged 12 new trainers that had the clasps on the side like walking boots so I'm walking all casual like thescoence lab as they were the first bang on trend trainers I'd had when the laces in left trainer caught clasps in right trainer resulting in me falling flat on my face as I couldn't seperate them. Ended up with grit in my hand still there and 6 stitches in my knee.

Original poster
FlouncyMcFlouncer · 30/08/2013 16:02

As a small child, I sat down on one of the 'down' escalators in C & A (remember them?). I was wearing a very typical short cotton summer dress (about 1976) and my knickers got caught in the 'teeth' at the end of the escalator.

I remember at the time being petrified that it was going to eat me alive - even though luckily it stopped automatically. Had to be cut free with a large pair of pinking shears from the haberdashery counter Blush.

OP posts:
FatPenguin · 30/08/2013 16:16

My most embarrassing was at the cinema. Me and my friend were messing about in the queue and i stepped back to get away from her and toppled over a man in a wheelchair, accidentally giving him a bit of a lap dance in the process. Onlookers stared in horror. He was lovely about it and even said sorry to me in a truly British fashion.

GinGuzzler · 30/08/2013 16:19

Arf at accidental lapdance Grin

Tapirbackrider · 30/08/2013 16:52

And another one (previously posted on MN)

I was doing a maintenance check on a bus; had been told the emergency exit was faulty, so I pulled the handle and shoved the door open with my shoulder.

It flew open, with me following. I hit the bus parked in the next bay and knocked myself out! Blush

ivykaty44 · 30/08/2013 16:56

I sat bare bottomed on a wasp.....

StickyFloor · 30/08/2013 17:01

OP how could you have forgotten gluing your foot to the carpet? That has made me laugh all the more!

I mean, I regularly glue my fingers together and spend a few days looking like a Star Wars fan, but actually gluing myself to something else is not easily forgotten!

ErrorError · 30/08/2013 17:21

Not me, but I've remembered a couple of willy related ones from college:

One poor catering student had been chopping chillis and then had gone to use the urinals... his tutor was asking around all the offices for milk he could pour on it to stop the burn!

A woodwork student was messing about with tools and bashed the heads of 2 hammers together, a splinter sheared off and lodged itself into his penis through his pants.

College had a sort of Fresher's week (where info about sex ed/joining clubs etc is handed out). A member of staff walking through the corridor slipped on a free condom and hurt his leg.

Recently my Mum had an accident. She had a little visit to A&E to glue up her eyebrow and has a big black eye... after falling over trying to pick up a cat poo.

oinkling · 30/08/2013 17:49

Error I've done that with the chillies. Have also had a burnt umm... mini-oinkling after eating extremely hot food and then peeing a couple of hours later. It had gone right through me.

Oh, and if you want to stop people picking their nose, make them chop naga chillies. The pain is unimaginable for about two hours.

SuffolkNWhat · 30/08/2013 18:24

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