My vagine is itching like mad.

[BupcakesandCunting]

Namechanged for obvious reasons. :(

My minge is itching like buggery. No discharge/whiffiness, just a very itchy vulva (as per namechange ) Have done a Caneten pessary on saturday and been applying the cream but nothing is working.

Suggestions please? And don't say "wash yer minge"

Liss, if you're feeling unwell please get checked.

Not saying this to panic you but my BF's DH got a terrible infection/abcess after his wisdom extraction. The silly bugger left it until he was in excrutiating pain and it had turned into an abcess which almost killed him. :(

He did leave it a very long time though. Just if you're feeling worse/feverish get checked out. Sorry it sounds like I'm scaring you but I am just concerned. :)

Pol, you is norty, innit!

Lissie, listen to the Cunty one. :)

Pol

Hang on, can we laugh at that. Is it too obvious?

no I think there is enough innuendo (not the Spanish arsefuck variety) to qualify as good humour there, Buppers - that is, to those of whom find such things funny. :)

I'm ok, could do with a good meal and am dozing. If I don't feel any better tomorrow I'll call the dentist.

Cheekbone hurts though, and my ear.

Cheekbone hurts though, and my ear.

Do you have a hot water bottle that DH can put some hot water in to (durrrr) as hot as you can bear? That's really good for face ache.

Lissie - can you at least phone the dentist, just in case? sounds a bit worrying if your ear is affected too.

Oooh, I do. Will set him on it. Bed is boring.

Shall we start another thread? One for the vaginers to chat quichily without wrecking a vair funny fred?

Good idea - someone please link me into it cos I must go to bedddd....

Lissie, I've had all my wisdom teeth out. If you can pick up a syringe from somewhere (chemist/dentist) then fill that with warm salty water and flush out the sockets with that. It keeps it nice and clean until they fill themselves in. Otherwise when you eat then bits get stuck in the holes and it all goes a bit manky

On a more thread related note, I've ordered a trimmer for my vagine area (see username for details), thought it might unearth a few lurking worms. I'll keep you posted...

Well I had a bath last night (usually a shower lady) and I was shocked, SHOCKED I tell you, at the length of a pube of mine floating in the water. It was about four inches long. I almost wept. I reckon I could have my pubes done like Monica Gellar's hair in Friends, when she goes to Barbadows, all in corn rows/with beads.

I've always wanted beads in my hair like that. It's because of being in love with Floella Benjamin when I was little. But my hair was too straight...

I never thought of putting them in my ladygarden! Genius!

If you really want to copy that episode Bupcakes then you need to get practising with the ping pong balls...

here

I always wanted bo derek braids. I used to braid my hair with string and colour it with felt tip!

I have read the whole of this thread on and off all afternoon. I am in bed recovering from some injections I had deep into my pelvis under GA yesterday. I have proper laughed and snorted my way through. DH keeps calling out asing if I am ok!

Thank you ladies and Bupcakes I hope your vagine stays well!

Oh fuck. I sent a message about an hour ago but MN crashed on me and only just working.

lissie really don't want to worry you but I had mild septiceamia afetr a wisdom tooth extraction becuase I too just put up with the pain and infection got worse. GET YOURSELF BACK THERE!

And yes codrydamol - I got it for abcessed tooth - on the advice of bups funnily enough

Oh just read your bit about the cheekbone.

GET YOURSELF BACK THERE I am so sorry this may scare the shite out of you but read above re my problems. I then lost tooth 6 and 4 is crowned. 5 comes out next week and 7 came out with wisdom tooth. All because the infection spread up and around. It is NOT COOL to put up with pain. bitter voice of experience

But Bupshasgotcuntworms,

Remember Monica did the swishy hair thing in the shower and got stuck....

I.Needed.This.Thread.

My sides hurt. I have woken DS3 up 3 times through screeching with laughter. This is my new favourite thread on MN. It is even funnier than the garlic up the arse thread. I feel MUCH better. I hope your vagine does too...

Lissie - I hope you are going back to the dentist - that pain sounds horrible and a bit worrying too.

Katie - I am trying to picture the scene now - and imagining the thread that Bupcakes will get out of it too. Of course, she'd have to namechange for it....

Quick update on pain, spoken to hospital and they say its likely to be deep muscle and tissue bruising. Apparently, if you bruise like a peach a'la lissie, it can take 2-3w to recover from. Bloody hell!

Quick update on pain, spoken to hospital and they say its likely to be deep muscle and tissue bruising. Apparently, if you bruise like a peach a'la lissie, it can take 2-3w to recover from. Bloody hell!

Can you get hold of some arnica tablets - that's supposed to help bruised tissue to heal? Other than that I have no advice to offer, but am sending you a gentle {{hug}}. Hope you feel better soon - sooner than 2-3 weeks!

This thread has made me laugh so much. OP if you're having trouble still, I suggest a cup of vinegar into the bath with lukewarm water and sit in it for 20 mins. Should do the trick.