Dear *

[OTheHugeManatee]

Dear boss

Why can't you stop micromanaging and let everyone get on with the jobs you hired us to do?

Dear self

Stop procrastinating.

Dear period

Why must you always malignantly wait until I'm wearing pink knickers before you put in an appearance?

Dear eggs please be ok and let little spermy get to you.

Dear self please relax and be ok whatever happens.

Dear DDs

Please, for the sake of my sanity, stop fucking bickering. I am trying to be the adult here, but am about to fail spectacularly

Thankyou kindly. Mummy x

Dear Ladies on The Hyperemisis Thread

I have been here before. it will be worth it. Hang in there

Bike, Mum to a 2.5 year old.

Dear Dad

I wish you hadn't got ill and died when i was so young, I would have liked to have known you as an adult. I think you would have been proud of your children and grandchildren.

Your DC3 of 4

Dear ex
i miss you all the time,i made a mistake and wish we could be together,i hope she makes you happy and that you will be a good dad.

Dear mum ,the last 6 months through cancer treatment has been awful and i know your depressed but there is light at the end of the tunnel and you will get there and be happy again.

Dear dh ,im sorry that im always thinking of him ,i cant tell you,i do wish what we have was enough.

Dear dc,please try to not complain that your bored and have nothing to do for the rest of the easter holidays ,im just one person ,your dad is away on business ,give me a break.

Dear sister - you made your bed now you have to lie in it ,stop whingeing about how bad your life is on facebook ,it really winds me up.

Dear dad ,please stop being horrible to mum she is in a bad way right now - try to show your emotions in a different way she needs your kindness.

Dear Body

Please please please stop making me eat the chocolate out the fridge, please make me choose the fruit i bought instead of letting me let it go off :( I am trying not so hard to loose the weight but your making me put it back on.

Yours Sincerely
Cheeky

dear me,

get off the couch and MN and go do something useful like the washing up

thanks
me x

dear dh

stop being such a wanker and then you might get sex

wife x

dear ds

i adore you, little popcorn eating, toe waggling, blondie boy...

love mummy x

Dear cows,

It was not funny when I looked through the little spy bit of your metal door just as one of you kicked right beside where I was peeping. I nearly sicked up with fear.
I am too short to see over the top so need the spy bit to check you are ok.

Stop your nonsense.

Yours crossly
GentleOtter

Dear employees of Axa in Redhill,

Please could you take a bus to work instead of driving and parking in my road. Yesterday I faced a torrent of abuse because I had to stop in the middle of the street with my hazards on so I could carry my two sleeping children in to the house as I couldn't find anywhere to park. Really the bus is rather nice and I will at least be able to park in the same road as I live.

Thank you

Headfairy

Dear DD,

I am so sorry.
I miss you
Love mum

Dear Ds3,

I understand you are really ill and feel like rubbish but the ear splitting wails are wearing a bit thin, and combined with the snoring all night which is keeping me awake, I'm a little worried that I might lose my temper in the near future and tell you to be quiet so if you could just fall asleep for even a minute or two I would really appreciate it......

Mum

Dear mumsnet

Please could you move this thread to classics

Kind regards
Pykel

Dear Degree,

Could you please do yourself. I am very busy.

Thank you

MrsD.

Dear Liver,

Please hold out or if you are not going too please hold out long enough for me to get a new one. I want to see my kids grow up. I know i won't make old age but another 15 years would be good.
Thank you

mummylouise

Dear University of Birmingham

Please hurry up and make a decision on my application, the waiting is killing me and I relaly, really want a place on that course.

Yours, MandL

Dear DS
I hope I am doing everything I can to help you. I am scared about how you will take to big school and whether we should have taken the other option of Special School. If I have made the wrong choice its only because I dont know what to do. I love you very much xxxx
Mummy

Dear new dentist,

Thanks so much for not hacking my mouth to pieces like the previous psycho driller.

Dear DS
See, I told you you need to brush your teeth properly!

Dear DH,
Hurry up and get home early tomorrow, I've ditched the kid for the weekend.......it's playtime

junky

not a junky, honest!

Dear ExP

I hope your therapy continues to go well and doesn't take too much longer, so that we can start on the couples therapy soon. I'm very sorry for the hell I put you through for the 5 years that we were together, but now that my PTSD has been treated and I'm well I really do think we can work it out if we try. I hope so, I really miss you, I love you and so do the kids.

SJM

Dear dog

Please try not to be sick all over the living room floor ,while I am at work

US

Dear C
If you see a heavily pregnant lady at Peter Kay tonight don't sit beside her cos she is off Mumsnet and due to go into labour very soon.
YS Jbck

Dear dinner

Could you make yourself so I can read all of this thread, plus DD2 might stop annoying me to make you & kill 2 birds with one stone.

YS Jbck

Dear Cats of SE London

I had a nightmare last night about digging over my garden and finding it was 50% cat shit.

Then I woke up and remembered that thanks to you, that's actually pretty accurate.

Please find yourselves another loo.

TIA
The Huge Manatee

Dear old employer
PLEASE, PLEASE employ me again in the autumn. I really need to know I am more than just a washer/child taxi service/food provider. I miss the children and I miss being part of the staff.
Best Wishes
JacksSnoryStory

Dear Cats
Please stop killing baby rabbits and leaving bits of them in my kitchen.
love
JacksSnoryStory

Dear Publishers/Literary agents
Please like the manuscript I am going to send you in the next few weeks. I'm really pleased with it but nervous as hell about sending it to you.
Kind regards
JacksSnoryStory

Dear cats,

Please don't be utter bastards awkward in the morning when I have to get the two of you into separate cat carriers by myself. In fact, if you could just jump nicely in while I'm brushing my teeth or something, so much the better.

Thanks,

She-who-pays-the-vets-bills

Dear DS

Please eat. You are losing weight and I am worried. I know its a sensory issue and you cant tell me about it, but smoothies and babybels is not going to give you enought to help you grow.

Worried Mummy

Dear All on this thread,

Some of you have made me laugh, some of you have made me cry. All of you have stopped me cooking tea - but thank you.

JSB

Dear Mumsnet HQ,

This thread so deserves to be a classic.

Pretty please,

JSB