Dear *

[OTheHugeManatee]

Dear boss

Why can't you stop micromanaging and let everyone get on with the jobs you hired us to do?

Dear self

Stop procrastinating.

Dear period

Why must you always malignantly wait until I'm wearing pink knickers before you put in an appearance?

Dear DH

Thanks for being such a great husband that, with just one glance, you could tell I was on the brink of tears and so immediately provided a big hug and a cup of tea with no further prompting.
love
z

Dear job,

Days like today are sucking the life out of me. Please try and be more enjoyable.

love z

Dear DD's

Why do you choose to fight so much? Cant you just love each other?!

Dear headache,

What have I done to deserve you? Please go away!

Dear DH,

Please dont wake me when you get home late from the pub!!! And dont you DARE wake the kids!!!!!

Many thanks
xx

Dear jackstarb,

You said it better than I would have! I agree completely and was composing a post in my head then I read yours!

OR

Dear darling children and DH,

I love you, and I will always love you, no matter what.

Love Me.

Dear Senior Management,

Please can you stop making decisions that involve feats of IT that, while innovative and futuristic have no basis whatsoever in reality.

If I tell you it can't be done, it doesn't mean I've woken up this morning and thought "fuck you and your ideas" it means the network just doesn't bloody well work that way and if you had the slightest understanding about what you were talking about, you wouldn't come out with such shit in the first place.

If the network manager and applications developers turn white as you speak, take it as read that they are trying to work out how to inform the meeting that you are talking bollocks in a way that won't get them fired or make you look like an arse in front of the clients.

I promise you now the pale sweat is not them speachless in awe of the words spewing out of your mouth.

yours,

BH, IT Manager.

Dear body,
You can now 'ping' back to the shape you were before I had DD, thanks.
DD is nearly 17
Love Norks

dear MummyLouise,
i have my fingers crossed for your liver
Love Norks

dear people who don't carry a donor card,
Why not exactly?
Love Norks

Dear DS
I know you are a teenager, but I still enjoy your company. Can you manage to enjoy mine a little bit before you leave home for good, and emerge from your room for longer than it takes to eat?
Love Norks

Dear DD
I know you want to go to University in America, but this means you will inevitably get shot by a gun. Please try not to want to go to America, and choose Canada instead, where the main danger is MOOSES
Love Norks

Dear me,
I know its taken a hell of a long time to come round to wanting to get pregnant and knowing in your heart its all you want but these things do take time stop beating yourself up every month and scaring yourself shitless because your last period lasted 2 weeks. It will happen.

Sincerly Me.

P.S I know the depressions a bitch but the self harming has to stop before you get pregnant.

Dear DH,

Get your lazy arse off of the settee and bath the kids!

Dear

You are the most gorgeous man I have ever seen. Please stop looking at me like that or I will do something I may live to regret.

Also -

Dear Nits,
Please fuck off out of DD's hair its been a month and we're now starting round 3 of treatment I will nuke you, you little bastards.

Sincerly, Your Doom.

Dear Deemented

Please don't blame yourself .
I also passed my baby into the loo but had no clue it was about to happen. It would have been the baby's due date on Tuesday and I can't believe I didn't realise. It has taken years to get to that point yet I feel guilty it has happened without me realising.

Dear All Mumsnetters

Thank you for being there.

Dear FabCat

Please don't die.

Dear TorcherQueenie

Please do not come anywhere near me or my children. We have just recovered from a traumatic bout of Headlice From Hell and I really don't have the energy for any more of the fuckers.

Yours gratefully

F. Nelson

Dear mum
I'm sorry you can't stand the fact your only grandchild has Asperger's and that she's not the grandchild you hoped for. I'm sorry I've only just realised what a truly selfish cow you are. I'm sorry we're such a bloody disappointment to you.

Dear dd
You are all I hoped for and more, you drive me to the brink of insanity but I BLOODY LOVE YOU!

(Sorry for shouting

dear dp
Thank you so much for showing me that men can be loving caring and fantastic aslo for wanting to take on my ds with all his special needs and my dd you have nothing to fear from my my twat of and ex h who hasnt given a shit about them for the past 4 years they love you even more than i do and i cant wait for you 2 get a job here i know we might have 2 wait a for a bit but it will be worth it and i cant wait for you 2 come down next week
all my love missy 10

ps my parents who you are finally meeting ar not really that scarey they are just so pleased i have finally found happiness xxxx

Dear DH,

Sorry for being such a miserable cow to you. I'm just fed up of being pregnant and feeling ill for weeks. It will get better soon. I do love you very much although I know it doesn't feel like it!

Dear DD,

I hope you won't mind having a little brother or sister. And pretty pretty please, stop chucking your food on the floor. I'm too tired for a major clean up job! Kiss kiss my little sausage.

Dear baby bean (13 weeks)

Though I whine about carrying you, don't be fooled - I love you to death already and wish you to grow big healthy and strong my little chuck. I hope everything will be OK when we have the next scan.

Dear Dee

Sorry for posting when you had asked us not too. I hadn't read the whole thread when I did.

Dear pedants
Is there an apostrophe in Aspergers?
thornrose

Dear Thornrose

Yes.

Love from Pedant

Dear ExH

Man the fuck up, put your hand in your pocket, and make sure the kids have enough to eat, never mind any of the extras. I know you think you're smart cos you got the CSA to take £5 a week off my IS for maintenance for our oldest son (which you 'look after') but you won't believe the amount of people who think you are a complete twunt for not taking care of the other 3 who live with me.

Dear ExBF

I still love you. I want to hate you. I can't help it.

Dear Current BF

Thank you for being there, thank you for putting up with my demands about not meeting the kids yet. I know it's hard cos I have very little free time, and I know you would love to meet them but I'm scared (see above). Humour me, they will like you so much more in the end. And I'm not avoiding the 'L' word, I'm scared (again, see above).

Dear D

It will get better. I don't want to tell you this over the phone, or to your face, cos it seems so shit just now, but it will. Everybody who matters knows what a dick he is, so don't waste any more energy on him.

Phew, that's better.

A

Dear DD

Sorry mummy won't be with you to celebrate your second birthday next week. Tears for you every day of my life until we meet again. Looking at your baby brother, I am lucky to have a glimpse of what you would have looked like. I always give him an extra kiss dedicated to you.

Sorry that nobody can be bothered to clear the dead flowers from your grave when I can't visit for a long time. Breaks my heart more than anyone knows. Sorry that I cry when I see the dead flowers. I hope my tears don't weigh on you whilst you rest.

Love you my little girl. Please come and visit me in my dreams again. It is the only thing that comforts the dead spot inside me.

x

Dear friend,
Why did you take him back after he'd thrown you physically out of the house while your DS was inside crying for mummy? How many times will I have to pick up the pieces?
Galena

Dear DD,
Sorry if mummy is a bit distracted at the moment. The referral from the physio because she fears your non-walking is more of a problem than we first thought threw me somewhat. I know you're still the gorgeous, funny, cheeky and clever girl you've always been and that won't change.
Mummy

Dear mumsnet
Thank you for keeping me company on these long tediously housebound days with a poorly child. You make me laugh and cry and unlike other forums I have tried, you are gloriously blunt and grown up. I love the lack of treading on eggshells: real support is not just saying what people want to hear.
Oh, bur if you could somehow be a little less addictive please, I have things to do.
BBB

Dear Eggs, please can you get fertilised so I can be pregnant again. I know that you are probably waiting for the "right time" but we have been TTC since December 2008 and I'm getting slightly impatient.

Fled

Dear DS1, please can you stop throwing a flakey at every opportunity. I adore you but I'm exhausted with you fighting with your younger brother and its so wearing constantly telling you off. You can be such a good boy most of the time but when something doesnt go your own way, you just have melt-down.

Mummy

Dear DH, get a f**king job! I'm sick of working every hour god sends just because all the jobs you see that fit in with uni would bore you.

Fled