Missed miscarriage

[Armdjm]

Hello, I am just looking for any advice (preferably from NHS experience) as I know no one who has gone through this to ask.

I am 9 1/2 weeks pregnant, had a private scan yesterday which confirmed heart stopped at 6+4. I had a gut feeling (hence the scan) I can’t explain why as I still have all my symptoms.

I rang my local unit and went today for a scan who again confirmed the same as the private scan but are making us go back in 14 days for a re scan before I can have any medical management.

it just feels cruel and I have so many worries.
Will it happen naturally when it stopped so long ago?
can I end up with an infection with it just left there?
Will the NHS offer surgical management over tablets?

I just feel tortured

thank you to anyone who has read this!

Hi ladies I'm 4 weeks post medical management and just got my first period yesterday although it's very light so far but I'm hoping to get some positive opks soonish 🤞🤞🤞

@Armdjm thank you for sharing. I tested today again hoping the line would be lighter but it’s still blazing. It’s so cruel how Mother Nature makes you want that’s second line so so much when you are trying, and now I’m desperate for it go away so I can start afresh. How many days after your test was negative did you ovulate? When I read about you lightning the candle at 7pm, that brought tears to my eyes. All the little babies that didn’t get very far on their journey are loved and missed

@SophieRules thank a for sharing. I hope you get your cycle back and it will be more positive times once we are all back into our cycles. The doctor at the EPU said fertility is higher after a pregnancy- I certainly hope so x

@PurpleOrchids12345 so it was 12 days after my negative test I got my Lh peak as I starting testing my Lh as soon as I got my negative test just to try and see when my period would return!

It’s such a strange feeling wanting the 2nd line to go away! I was desperate for mine to go I think as well because I was just so worried about retained tissue and having to have further treatment!

I know, it’s so sad isn’t it! I lit my candle at 7pm and it was so strange I was holding my daughter who is 1 1/2 and my husband picked up the candle to light it and she pointed at it and said baby. I was so taken a back! The candle has no pictures of a baby and nothing around us has a baby/photo/word on it as it’s on our dresser in our bedroom. I had also kept my digital pregnant test that I found out on and it went off today. Which I find crazy it’s stayed on all of this time since 17th May! It was still on yesterday I checked and after we lit the candle the writing was gone!

Hi everyone, I haven't checked in for a while but have been reading your updates. So sorry to those going through this.
I had an ultrasound this morning as 12 weeks post surgical management for a MMC I haven't had a period. Ultrasound showed abnormal womb lining thickening and cysts. Possibly due to a hormonal imbalance, she didn't think it was retained tissue.
It's such a drawn out process it feels very unfair. I turned 39 yesterday and that was my first pregnancy. Losing hope I'll be able to have a baby now. Grateful for any advice or stories of hope! Sending you all positive period and recovery vibes.

@WildFinch oh I’m so sorry to hear this! Good that they don’t think it’s retained tissue though. What is the next step? It’s just such a cruel process isn’t it!

Thanks @Armdjm . I've got a blood test booked next week to check hormone levels but it's hard to know what they should be as I don't have a cycle at the moment but doctor said to get a test done anyway. Waiting to hear back from GP about ultrasound results. I've had bad cramping today and a little spotting so I'm hoping with a big bleed I can flush everything out. Fingers crossed!

@WildFinch yes hopefully it’s the start of things and like you say a heavy period will help clear the thickened lining. It’s just awful isn’t it, you just expect to miscarry naturally and things to go straight back to normal no one talks about the medical/surgical management and all the problems you can encounter after

@WildFinch I’m so sorry to hear this. I’ve got an appointment tomorrow to see if there are any retained products. I’m totally feel you as I’m 41 now and truly feel like time is not on my side. Hope you did something nice on your bday?

@Armdjm thats crazy that your toddler did that! On the day I was given the second part of the medical management and started bleeding, my 22 month old kissed my tummy completely spontaneously and smiled at me. He had never done that before. Sometimes there might be things we all don’t understand!

@Confusedmermaid1 how many dpo are you now? Pls do share your journey as any bfp will lift our spirits and give us hope!

@PurpleOrchids12345 only 4dpo at the moment and going to try not to test early this month after evaps on a clear blue last month 😅 will definitely update if this is our month 🤞🏼

@Confusedmermaid1 I’m with you at 7dpo (I think) at the minute. Trying not to test until Sunday but I can’t see that happening. I’m wondering if my period will come at 10dpo again like the last 2 months

keep us updated!

Thank you @PurpleOrchids12345 it's so tough isn't it. I've been crying on and off all day. For my birthday I went to the cinema solo as my husband had to work,nthen took myself out for lunch and a bath in the evening. Loved it!
Do let us know how your appointment goes, is it a scan?

@Armdjm @Confusedmermaid1 crossing everything for you both!

@PurpleOrchids12345 its like they can sense something isn’t it! When I was pregnant she used to kiss my belly a lot and say baby and she never said it again after my surgery it was like she knew! They’re clever little things! I hope your appointment tomorrow goes well!

I’m sorry to hear that, I know you’ll just want to move on. All I can say is it seems that most people who have miscarriages go on to have successful pregnancies and there is a lot of luck involved.

@WildFinch what movie did you watch? I’m glad you enjoyed you bath! What are rhe doctors saying about your scan and hormones?

@Armdjm fingers crossed for you! Yes littlest ones have a sixth sense and they know more than we think! Yep scan tomorrow morning for possible retained products of conception. Really hope it goes well as I’m so ready to start afresh. Pregnancy tests still blazing which is disappointing.

@PurpleOrchids12345 atleast they’re scanning to give you a definitive answer. I had retained product after my surgery but I miscarried it naturally later that week. It’s just such a long process isn’t it! I was off work ages I just couldn’t bring myself to act normal for so long!

Thanks @SophieRules really trying to hold onto that at the moment.
@PurpleOrchids12345 saw Lee with Kate Winslet. It was very good.
Blood test next Friday for me. Possibly a hysteroscopy next to get a better look depending on what my blood test results are. I've been told that the only real way to know what's going on in there. Hoping for good news for you soon. Did you have surgical management?

hi @WildFinch - I had medical management but may be headed for surgical if the scan tomorrow shows retained products! I hope your blood tests go ok. My heart goes out to you if you’ve waited so long already! Was this your first pregnancy. @SophieRules is absolutely right that lots of women go on to have healthy pregnancies after miscarriages. If anything it shows your body is capable of getting pregnant.

@Armdjm how did you know you had retained products after your procedure? Was it symptoms?

@PurpleOrchids12345 yeah so immediately after my surgery I barely bled for days and had no pain after the 1st night, then one night I was stood in my daughters room getting her sorted for bed and just got the most intense stomach pains and just started pouring of blood and passing huge clots. The hospital said it will have been left over as the surgery under general anaesthetic isn’t ultrasound guided so they’re just going in blind basically and she said your hormones drop around the day it happened to me and can cause anything left over to be miscarried naturally

@PurpleOrchids12345 how did today go? I hope you're doing ok.
It was my first pregnancy, met my now husband a bit later in life than most of my friends so I'm a late bloomer.
In good news the flood gates have opened (sorry if too graphic!) but my period is definitely here. Not ideal as I was in London working today but despite the pain I'm trying to be grateful and hopefully this does flush everything out. Will still have the blood test next week I guess. But I'll speak to the GP to see what she suggests.

I hope it’s ok for me to join?

Feeling a bit lost with multiple friends giving birth and pregnancy announcements and none of them having any issues so thought it would be nice to speak to those who understand a bit more!
I had a MMC end of August at 11 weeks, only just got my first period since but still testing faintly positive. Thought my period had finished yesterday but now bleeding brown sludge (apologies if tmi) which is delightful.
It was my second miscarriage in a row (although the last one was last year).

Welcome @Lalalala77 I'm sorry to hear about your miscarriages, it's the group we all wish we weren't in. But I hope you can find some comfort knowing lots on here have had similar experiences, and successes. I know I have.
I was diagnosed with a MMC in July, my first pregnancy. I've only just got my period back after surgical management at the end of July. Will you speak to EPU about still testing positive ?
I totally know what you mean about friends announcing pregnancies. I don't want to be that person but I'm finding it hard not to resent it or be upset when friends announce second or third babies.

@Lalalala77 so sorry you’ve been through this awful ordeal!

It’s so difficult when people around you aren’t having problems, I know my husbands friend told us they were having another baby (completely unplanned and they wanted no more) not long after our miscarriage and it absolutely broke me. I havnt had any friends fall pregnant since me (1 was pregnant same time and all is well) but a lot of my friends who have a child the same age as my daughter are starting to try for their 2nd and I know already it’ll hurt me if they get pregnant before I do again which I feel so silly saying.

It’s true is a group none of us want to be in but my god it’s helped me through this so much!
This is my 1st proper month trying again and I already know I’m not pregnant, I have no symptoms at all where as I normally have very strong ones leading up to the test especially cramps and I’ve had nothing and I already feel so disappointed I think because you hear how fertile you are after a MC

Hi @WildFinch my scan today showed a clot in the uterus. The consultant said we could go ahead with an MVA today or wait and see if it passes spontaneously. She was fairly confident it would pass naturally but we have a back up surgery date in three weeks if this is persistent. I’m so ready for this chapter of my life to close and to move on. It’s wonderful news that your Aunt Flo has arrived!!! It gives me hope that we can all get our cycles back.

welcome @Lalalala77 sorry to hear you are going through this. It’s so so hard and I’m sure everyone here can empathise with you. Your feelings are very normal. We are all going through a grieving process. Have you tested positive since the mmc in July? Or negative and now positive?

@Armdjm sorry to hear you have no symptoms- how many dpo are you now?

@PurpleOrchids12345 glad they were confident it would pass on its own but yeah atleast you have a back up if not!

Im only 8-10dpo (not 100% sure) which is still very early and I’m not even expecting it to happen this soon after my MC I’m expecting it to take some time I think it just feels harder this time around maybe because technically none of us should be trying we should all already be pregnant with our MC babies

Are you testing negative? They thought I had a clot at my post MMC scan but didn’t ask me to come for a follow up. 3 weeks later and still no period.