Missed miscarriage

[Armdjm]

Hello, I am just looking for any advice (preferably from NHS experience) as I know no one who has gone through this to ask.

I am 9 1/2 weeks pregnant, had a private scan yesterday which confirmed heart stopped at 6+4. I had a gut feeling (hence the scan) I can’t explain why as I still have all my symptoms.

I rang my local unit and went today for a scan who again confirmed the same as the private scan but are making us go back in 14 days for a re scan before I can have any medical management.

it just feels cruel and I have so many worries.
Will it happen naturally when it stopped so long ago?
can I end up with an infection with it just left there?
Will the NHS offer surgical management over tablets?

I just feel tortured

thank you to anyone who has read this!

I was just about to message you as I was wondering how you had been getting on. I'm so sorry to hear that. How come they offered you another scan? Is it because you still had heavy bleeding?

I also took misoprostol last Monday and I did pass the full sack and lots of heavy clots but it's been just a week now and the bleeding is a oot lighter but I do still have bleeding which I think is normal.
I know how frustrating it is waiting and that feeling of just wanting it all to be over. Maybe surgery might be the best option for you as it is over quickly? What do you think? When my Midwife phoned me the next day after I took the tablets she did ask questions about if I passed the sac etc and I told her confidently that I did as it was all still intact so just wondering, did your Midwife not ask you if you passed it or not?

@Moomoo20 yes, they offered the scan because I was still getting bad cramping and bleeding.

They didn't initially ask if I had passed the sac - they said that it sounded like it was successful because I described really heavy bleeding and lots of clots (and honestly, there was really a lot of blood and clots the size of my palm, absolutely grim), and then a reduction in bleeding and pain. They said lots of women don't notice the sac passing and I think because the pregnancy stopped at 6 weeks they maybe thought it might be very small.

Although I found out today that they had measurements for the size of the sac from the last scan which they didn't tell me about. And which might have been good to know!

I'm so sorry to hear that. I totally understand it can be difficult if you don't know what to expect. I had a lot of heavy bleeding and large clots as you described and honestly I thought that was it but then I started getting the worst contraction pain and decided to sit on the toilet for a little while and I just felt a huge ball fall into the toilet and I looked and I could clearly see it was the full sac, I was also only about six weeks when baby stopped growing. I totally did not expect that for some reason. I thought it would all be broken up and the Midwife didn't really give me much information about What to Expect so I felt a bit clueless. You could always try another round of the tablets and see how you get on. It sounds like your body has really started to get rid of a lot and maybe you just need that final push to clear the rest. I did find that after I took the first four tablets not a huge amount was happening and then after four hours when I took the next two tablets, that really helped. Sending big hugs x

I’m so sorry this is still going on for you :( Thinking of you

@InvisibleDragon i am so sorry that’s happened! I hope it has worked for you the second time so you can start to move forward!

I had a ceremony/service thing organised by my NHS trust today and it was a lot harder than I expected but felt like the closure I needed!

Thanks @SophieRules and @Armdjm - I took the second dose and did get some more bleeding and clots, including something that could have been the sac. Misoprostol, cyclizine and ibuprofen - worst legal high ever.

Also got a week of antibiotics prescribed to reduce infection risk. Really hoping this is it now, but managed to stress myself out massively by reading another thread on here about retained products and endometritis. Thought I was doing the right thing by trying to avoid surgery, but it seems like there are no good options in this particular game.

At least it's the weekend now and I can spend some nice time with my family and enjoy normal life again!

@Armdjm that service sounds like a lovely thing. I'm really glad it was helpful for you!

@InvisibleDragon you’re right, I don’t think there is a ‘best’ option, I think it’s all just personal preference! I worry that the surgery will have lead to scarring and will affect my fertility so I’ve banned myself from googling!

I hope you’re having a nice weekend and that hopefully that is it for you! Glad they’ve given you some antibiotics to cover too.

aw it was a lovely service. It was a lot more of a ‘funeral’ than I expected it to be. But it was nice to kind of close that chapter of our life now

Well, good news is that second dose of misoprostol worked, so no surgery needed. Have been struck by horrible anxiety that because I'm Rh- and DH is Rh+ that the long drawn out medical miscarriage process will have sensitized me to Rh+ antibodies, because they don't offer anti-d injections for medical management any more. Guess I just have to try not to think about this and take everything one step at a time.

@InvisibleDragon thats great news that you won’t need the surgery after 2 lots of medical management!

Yes definitely something to try not to think about isn’t it as it isn’t a guarantee but hard not to worry but hopefully overtime you’ll not think about it as much!

@Bellebg how did your 12 week scan go?

Thanks so much for checking in @Armdjm. All was good 🥰 it was fairly early at 11+3 but knew that going in. Still feeling a bit nervous especially as no scan now until 20 weeks (will probably do one private check) but feeling so lucky and really trying to enjoy it. Telling everyone has been really special.

How are you doing and feeling at the moment? X

@Bellebg im so glad! I bet it’s so lovely telling people!

We are good, decided to start ‘trying’ but not track anything for a couple months then I’ll start tracking ovulation again if nothing happens but enjoying the more laid back approach for now. There was a massive double rainbow when we got home from our remembrance service last Friday so I’m trying to see that as a sign!

Thank you @Armdjm.

Ah you had your remembrance service. How was it? I hope it felt really special and also gave you the closure you were looking for. That definitely sounds like a sign!

Fingers crossed for you, having a relaxed approach sounds like a good way forward. Looking forward to hearing your updates x

Pleased for you and sorry this all took so long. I hope you can move in soon. The drawn out nature of it all is so tough.

@Bellebg it was a lovely service, I feel like we’ve been waiting knowing that was happening so I feel like now it’s done it’s given us some closure!

now looking forward to seeing how the next few months go!

Hello all, I am currently going through a missed miscarriage and have decided on medical management. Was trawling through mumset to see what other people’s experiences were. Please could I ask, for those who decided to try again shortly after, how soon after the miscarriage did you ovulate and get pregnant? Am feeling so desperately sad and feeling like my time is running out as I’m already 41.

I am so sorry you're going through this. I also had a missed miscarriage in August and it blindsided me (also 41). I will say it doesn't go away but it does get easier. I ovulated 2 weeks later and have since had two very normal periods, though not pregnant yet. The first period felt very much like closure. Sending lots of solidarity and good luck.

Hi @Fletchasketch thank you for messaging. It’s such a hard time isn’t it! Can I ask how long it took for your pregnancy test to become negative?

So so hard! I actually didn't take a pregnancy test in the end, I'd read so many threads about people waiting longer than three weeks and working themselves up that I decided to just wait until my period came- I know this isn't what you're supposed to do, but obviously if it had taken longer than 5/6 weeks I'd have tested. It also helped that I had a follow-up ultrasound (privately) that confirmed no retained products so I didn't feel the need.

@PurpleOrchids12345 im so sorry you’re going through this!

I made a note on my phone because I was constantly trawling through forums for answers of different things so I’ll post it here..

Surgical under GA - 8th July
Negative test - 27th July
Ovulated - 8th August
Period - 19th August

I have since that period in August had 1 more period which was a normal 29 day cycle (although that’s shorter for me than normal I’m normally 34 days) but this cycle seems more on track for that as I think I’ve ovulated around cycle day 23 (not tracking just going off feelings/CM) no pregnancy yet though. We are trying at the minute without tracking anything just to see how it goes so know that is making my chances not as high but just feels right at the minute

This thread was my saviour during that time so please keep us updated and ask anything!

@Armdjm thank you so much for posting! I’ve had a horrible time with seeing the little heartbeat at 7 weeks, then no heart beat, failed expectant management and now likely failed medical management :( my pregnancy tests are still blazing so I know it will be a while before this conception is resolved, let alone waiting to try again. It’s reassuring to see that you ovulated not too long after your surgical management.

@PurpleOrchids12345 so sorry you’re going through this as well!
I had medical management on 11th July, negative test 4th August and period 10th August. I didn’t track ovulation after the MC until after my first period.
I think that makes it 4 weeks until my negative test but the lines were fainter around 3 weeks when they advised testing so they did bloods at my EPU to make sure my hcg was low after the positive at 3 weeks.

My last cycle was the first one since that I’ve been back to my usual 13 day luteal phase (was shorter prior to that) so hopefully my cycles are finally settling back to normal now. In the TWW currently so hopefully some good news soon 🤞🏼

Look after yourself. All miscarriages are brutal but I totally sympathise after seeing a heartbeat at around the same time as you it was devastating! Here if you need us.

@PurpleOrchids12345 im so sorry it’s such a long drawn out process! We also saw a heartbeat then not at the next scan it’s awful.

my tests were blazing positive still a week after my surgical management and I really thought the day after it would be a lot lighter so it might not have failed! Mine took 20 days to go negative just under the 3 weeks they ask. I was obsessed and tested multiple times a day to try see it get lighter and I really wish I hadn’t it messed with my head a lot.

Same as @Confusedmermaid1 my last 2 cycles my letuel phase has been only 9/10 days from when I ‘think’ I’ve ovulated going off signs last month and the month before lh strips. This cycle like I say I havnt tracked anything and going off when I think I did I’m about 6/7dpo now so not sure if I’ll get a longer letuel phase this time around but I’ve ovulated (i think) more around my normal time for what my cycles were like before I fell pregnant!

Again I’m so so sorry this is happening to you there are just no words to make it better but it’s wave of light tonight so I will be lighting a candle at 7pm for my baby and all of yours too 🤍

I got a negative test about 2 weeks after the medical management. I’m another 2 weeks down the line and still no period. Based on ovulation tests I might have ovulated a week ago but the test wasn’t as conclusive as it was before my pregnancy. A lot of uncertainties but I’m following this thread, hoping everyone gets their rainbows and for those of you wanting to move on I hope you get your negative tests soon. I’m keen for a period now and to get cycles back.