Missed miscarriage

[Armdjm]

Hello, I am just looking for any advice (preferably from NHS experience) as I know no one who has gone through this to ask.

I am 9 1/2 weeks pregnant, had a private scan yesterday which confirmed heart stopped at 6+4. I had a gut feeling (hence the scan) I can’t explain why as I still have all my symptoms.

I rang my local unit and went today for a scan who again confirmed the same as the private scan but are making us go back in 14 days for a re scan before I can have any medical management.

it just feels cruel and I have so many worries.
Will it happen naturally when it stopped so long ago?
can I end up with an infection with it just left there?
Will the NHS offer surgical management over tablets?

I just feel tortured

thank you to anyone who has read this!

I'm so sorry for what you're going through. I've had 3 missed miscarriages now, I've never had to wait 14 days for a rescan. The first one was found at a private scan on a Saturday, confirmed at EPU on the Monday and I had surgical management on the Thursday. Second one was a bit more drawn out, I had a private scan which showed a worrying slow heartbeat, got referred to EPU and had a scan a week later which showed a normal heartbeat but 2 weeks behind in size, so was booked back in for a further week later where they confirmed heart had stopped and there was no growth since the last scan. I had surgery 3 days later.

My most recent one I had a scan booked at EPU due to my previous losses, again showed a slow heartbeat so they booked me in for a week later and baby's heart had stopped, and it had actually shrunk slightly since the previous week. I had surgery just 48hrs later as it was almost a bank holiday and they didn't want me to miscarry at home as they were sending samples for genetic testing.

I didn't have to wait again after the scans with no heartbeat for any of my losses, which I'm glad about because it was so obvious looking at the screen that there was zero movement (combined with the lack of growth).

For all I was offered the 3 options of expectant management, medical management or surgical management. I chose surgical all 3 times and would recommend that option in terms of minimal trauma and quick physical recovery. If I have another missed miscarriage I'll be torn as I'll start being at higher risk of developing Ashermans, but I'll cross that bridge if I come to it!

Oh and first one I had a slight pink streak in mucus before the scan with no heartbeat but no bleeding, third one no bleeding or spotting at all, middle one I started to get moderate spotting whilst waiting for surgery but not fully on bleeding.

Very sorry to hear this Armdjm.
I had this happen when my son was around 18 months. I'd booked a private scan and measured 6weeks odd at 9 weeks, referred to NHS and had to be scanned then rescanned 2 weeks later so was nearly 12 weeks when I had surgical management to remove the pregnancy. I would definitely recommend surgical management, I'd looked into the options on here and found mums who had had medical and surgical management in different pregnancies strongly recommended surgical as less painful and more straightforward.

@moosey89 im so sorry about your losses! I can’t even imagine going through this over again. It definitely seems different trusts have different polices on when to re scan etc. I had really hoped they would have even just said 7 days for a rescan considering how off the dates are. It feels like it’s going to be the longest 2 weeks of my life! I understand why they have to but it is just drawing out the process when I want to be able to move on from it as best I can

@skeletonbones i am so sorry you have also gone through this,

it sounds like our dates are very similar, I am 9+4 and baby is measuring 6+4 so I will be almost 12 weeks at my re scan.

Did you have any bleeding/pain at all during your wait? And also after your re scan did you have to wait long for the surgery?

So sorry you’re going through this OP.

I was very similar to you dates wise and had the same experience with the NHS not accepting the private scans, I think I had roughly a ten day wait between NHS scans.

Just wanted to share my experience of medical management. I had no bleeding whilst waiting for the treatment. Opted for the tablets so as to avoid a longer wait for surgery (and the general anaesthetic). They gave dihydrocodeine to take at home which really helped the pain. It was all over within about 12 hours of taking the tablets, I needed both doses of the tablet. It was unpleasant for sure but not unmanageable - I was really scared as I could only find terrible experiences online and it really worried me, but actually it ended up being the best course of treatment for my circumstances. Good luck with whatever you decide.

@Firstbaby2024 im so sorry you have also been through this!

it is nice to hear a story that isn’t traumatic as I think a lot of people have a really painful experience which really scares me. I had dihydracodiene when I had gallstones pregnant with my little girl and it’s such a good painkiller!

Did you have any cramps during your wait between scans? Or nothing at all?

No nothing at all in between the various scans and being prescribed the tablets. I only knew something was wrong as we went for a first look scan at what should have been about 9 weeks and was only measuring 6. I had the tablets just before the 11 week mark. I honestly think I would have rocked up to my 12 week scan with no clue anything was amiss had I not paid for the private scan.

@Firstbaby2024 yeah that would have been me as well! I have no symptoms of anything being wrong other than a gut feeling which I still can’t even explain! But I still fully feel pregnant, the nausea is awful and now just feels like an extra kick in the face.

I had cramp on and off yesterday afternoon and up until I went to bed so thought maybe this was it then it was gone when I woke up so think it was potentially from the internal scan as it started after that

Hi Armdjm,
I had no pain or bleeding while I waiting, it felt just like a normal pregnancy, i had hyperemisis gravidarium unfortunately, which only went after the surgery. Once I had had the second scan and the NHS hospital confirmed the end of the pregnancy it was actually very quick to get booked into surgery, I had the surgery the week after the final scan final scan was on wednesday, surgery on Mon morning. They nearly managed to get me in the same week as the scan too but were too full. Surgery very straight forward, had it under general, felt quickly better, very little post op pain, no worse than period pain x

@skeletonbones I’m glad it went straight forward for you! Oh wow to have Hyperemsis as well that’s so cruel isn’t it. That’s good that they got you in so quickly. I rang my hospital today and have pushed for an earlier scan and they have agreed to do them 7 days apart instead of 14

@Armdjm I'm so glad that you've managed to get an earlier scan! How are you doing?

My body is absolutely taunting me with symptoms today 🫣 After reading multiple threads on here, I think I'm going to opt for surgical management. The only luck I have is bad, so I give my self a 90% chance of getting scar tissue. I'm on a right downer today 😖

@CJHR18 I know I felt a bit cheeky asking but I thought if I don’t ask I’ll never know! I feel some relief that it’s sooner as the idea of waiting 14 days had really upset me when I know nothing is going to change!

What symptoms are you having? I had awful cramps last night and thought this must be it but nothing happened and they stopped! Yes my hospital told me the 3 options today and I think I’m still leaning towards surgical. They did say I could stay in hospital on a day unit to take the tablets if I didn’t want to be at home with my little girl but said I would still have to go home even if it hadn’t happened by the time it was closing so seems counterproductive!

Oh yeah. That does seem counter productive. I don't believe my hospital uses general anaesthetic and just local which is scaring me a bit...

I hoped that once my brain had processed the news, my body would follow. But nope! The pregnancy symptoms are still going strong. Just seems so cruel!

@CJHR18 Oh do they not? No I don’t think I could do it under local. When do you go back? Hopefully they will tell you they do general as well.

Yes I thought the same, I had read so many threads where people said it started once they knew. But my pregnancy sickness is still awful!

@Armdjm I go back on Tuesday at 11.30. This has genuinely been the longest week of my life 😅

When is your next scan? X

@CJHR18 It’s such a long wait isn’t it! I’m back on Friday at 3pm which means nothing will end up happening until the week after unfortunately but I just keep thinking at least it’s 1 week now and not 2!

You will have to let me know how it goes on Tuesday

I just found out that I am also having a missed miscarriage with pretty much the same circumstances. Measuring 6+4 weeks at just under 10 weeks. I should have my final scan on Wednesday and a surgical procedure under general anaesthetic on Thursday. I've had a termination for medical reasons (patau's) and a chemical pregnancy in the last year, and have never had a 'successful pregnancy'.

Because of these losses, I have an NHS counsellor who specialise in pregnancy losses, and used to be a pregnancy nurse. She suggested that the surgical option would be the least painful and traumatic. I'm scared of the general anaesthetic because I've not had one before!

Just wanted to express solidarity, but also echo what others have said about surgery. I can update on Friday if is of any help. :)

Good luck for Friday @TruthUnwinding. I hope everything goes well. I'm so sorry that you're going through this.

I have had general anthestic to get my wisdom tooth out and it wasn't too bad! Luckily I didn't have any reactions from the anasethia.

I too would opt the surgical management if my trust opted GA rather than local. I gave past trauma from getting procedures under local anthestic. I had a peg placed using local anthestic and it was truly awful.

Please let us know how you get on. I'll be thinking of you 🤍🕊💐

@TruthUnwinding im so sorry you’re going through this and have been through your previous losses. Please let us know how it goes on Friday!

I had my gallbladder removed last year so know I am okay with general anaesthetic. If it’s any consolation I’m an intensive care nurse and have assisted on many people being put to sleep and the process in itself isnt as scary as it seems and so so fast!

@TruthUnwinding I'm so sorry you're going through this, and for your previous losses.

I've had 3 lots of surgical management and 2 other operations under GA (3 different hospitals total) and apart from feeling a bit cold when I wake up, they've all gone really smoothly, going to sleep is the easiest process and the anaesthetist will explain what they are doing (if they don't, you can ask any questions). Hope that can provide a little reassurance for having anaesthetic xx

Went for my second appointment today. Feutal pole had shrank and my gestational sac had echoes in it. Not einterly sure what that means.

In the end, I've opted for medical management. My hospital only offer MVA under local anesthetic and gas and air (no thank you). Plus I'm also terrified of getting scar tissue. I've had fertility issues and it has taken me 3 years to get here, so I don't want any further set backs.

I've taken the mifepristone today and will return to the hospital on Thursday for the misoprostol. Thursday will happen as an inpatient for me due to other medical conditions. They're hoping to get me a side room.

I thought today would be harder than it has been. I genuinely don't think I have any more emotion in me. The stress has finally caught up with me. My hair is coming out in chunks, I'm lethargic and have had the biggest migraine for 2 days.

@CJHR18 Oh I’m so sorry! But yes sounds like the better option than the local anaesthetic, it’s traumatic enough without being fully aware.

I think I would feel a lot happier as an impatient at least you know your bleeding etc will be monitored! I really hope they do get you a side room it’s such a private thing isn’t it.

I wasn’t aware the tablets were different! I just assumed you took one and that was all! What does the first one do?

@CJHR18 also I totally understand about the emotions. I feel quite numb now. I just feel like I’m in a very logical headspace of thinking right this needs sorted now. I think the emotion will hit me properly when it’s all over

@Armdjm I'm not sure if it something that is given in every hospital. But the mifepristone helps reduce progestrone, apparently research has show it helps to resolve the misscarriage completely.

I was a bit delulu before and had a brief moment of insanity where I thought maybe the 2 ultrasonographers and the consultant were wrong and everything was OK 😂😅

I don't think I'll ever get over it, but once everyone knows and the miscarriage is over, I think I'll be able to begin to move on. X

@CJHR18 thats good that they offer that! I don’t think my trust do as they said I would just go home on the day with them so I think they must offer just the 2nd ones!

Ive had the same thoughts it’s awful isn’t it! Even though I absolutely know that isn’t the case.

Yes I feel the same, I think this particular type of miscarriage feels so prolonged and you’re in limbo and can’t ’move on’. Although I won’t forget it I feel I need it to be over to grieve properly and start to move on