First Pregnancy Missed Miscarriage

[sadtoday21]

Hello everyone - I've never posted on these forums before, but I had a missed miscarriage at 9 weeks and I found out at the 12 week dating scan two days ago. It was my first ever pregnancy. Yesterday, I had D&C and now recovering. Really healthy otherwise and no signs at all that anything was wrong during the pregnancy, although I never had any morning sickness.

I am really in shock and this happened on the 1 year anniversary of my mom's death (breast cancer), so the whole thing just feels like too much to handle. DH (dear husband) is very supportive, but I don't have any women friends to talk to, besides one who is more than 20 weeks pregnant and well...I just can't deal with that. Any advice on how to recover emotionally and also when to start trying again? GP said to wait 3 weeks, but I don't think I can wait that long. Please help and thank you.

@AnnaMC214 I tried Opks but they all looked positive. I think my pcos means I have excess LH so not accurate. Some people get on with them though, overall it seems temping is best.

I found this today and it looks good.

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Smart-Basal-Thermometer-Femometer-Intelligently/dp/B072JRPYFR/ref=ascdff_B072JRPYFR/?tag=googshopuk-21&linkCode=df0&hvadid=309981954457&hvpos=1o1&hvnetw=g&hvrand=9033114406288736285&hvpone=&hvptwo=&hvqmt=&hvdev=m&hvdvcmdl=&hvlocint=&hvlocphy=9045093&hvtargid=pla-357072994759&psc=1

I'll probably stick with Ovusense as better for pcos but this might be good if reasonably normal cycles. Xx

@Catconfusion thank you for the link. I've been hesitant to go for it with Ovusense because of the price so that looks like a great option. I've found opks alright in the past (as far as I could tell) but I know temping is much better for knowing for sure and I guess opks might be even less reliable this soon after a mc.

@AnnaMC214 the link that @Catconfusion posted is the same thermometer I bought for temping - I love it! It's not too expensive and automatically records temp and time. Plus it looks very chic, which I like since I use it every day. The app that comes with it is not great, but I just input the data into FF afterwards (tried the free VIP version which I really liked, but now just using the free one for awhile). The cheap OPKs never work for me - I never get two lines! - but the CB digital ones do seem to work well. I use both temping and OPKs when I'm actively ttc. Just note that OPKs might not work immediately after the mmc, since hormones are all out of whack and you need to have a BFN first. Good luck!

Forgot to add that I did use OPKs before my first AF and it did work - got the smiley the same day as the temp spike. Also ended up getting pregnant that cycle, despite not ttc at all (zero bding in the fertile window), so I think it is true that we are more fertile after mc! Just to warn you, in case you do want to wait for 1 AF, which I highly recommend. As you know, that pregnancy sadly ended as well quite early on.

I think I'm going to start temping tomorrow. No sign of EWCM yet, but only CD10, so quite early for me. I'm curious to see what my cycle looks like after the early mc. Just had the blood drawn and nothing else to do now but wait.

@bananamonkey I'm so sorry you are feeling low and alone right now. I completely get it. I also have times when I'm feeling much better about the whole thing and then times when I am really sad again. Hate the fact that my baby won't be born until 2020 at this rate, if at all. I am a very impatient person though. Just know that we are all here for you and you aren't alone xxx.

@sadtoday21 oh really! I had a look as I'm wondering if there's a way to record the temps without necessarily knowing what they are as it's causing stress. Then I could dip in to keep an eye on it when I'm calm. I've since realised Ovusense is the best monitor and most accurate for pcos as core temperature and also not knowing might make me go crazy. Glad you get on well with it. I downloaded the app and didn't like it either. It said I did ovulate which is worrying as I know I haven't now. Xx

@Catconfusion yes, you don't need to look at the temps with that thermometer. It just records the data and you can look later if you want to (or not)! I always check right away though, just like you! The app and algorithm is not half as good as FF - I don't even look at the analysis part.

@Catconfusion yes, I still remember the day I optimistically went for the 12 week scan expecting to see my baby for the first time only to be told it had stopped growing at 6 weeks (mmc). I still wonder what that child would have been like, but I was pregnant with dd1 6 months later so if that pregnancy had continued she wouldn't be here.

We didn't have ovulation predictors in those days, but I did record temps for a while to check I was ovulating (cycle went from 4-7 weeks seemingly at random). We'd actually decided to stop ttc over Christmas, so I had plenty to drink on a fab new years eve with a very drunken shag. Dd1 was born 1st October ☺️

Thanks all, I got outside to do some exercise at lunch which has made me feel much better. Also DH has booked the Ivy Brasserie for quick dinner tomorrow before going to a gig later which will be nice as I'd wanted to try it. Looking forward to a lie in Saturday as DD is staying with GPs and we have no early swimming lessons because of Easter. Will concentrate on all these nice things!

That thermometer looks good, I may get one if I we have no luck this month and I decide to start temping. Every time I look at FB or Instagram I get adverts for that Ava fertility tracking bracelet and it's driving me nuts - stupid targeted ads! Thanks @catconfusion I will look you up on instagram.

The same happened for me @HidingFromDD, after months of disappointment we took a break over Christmas, booked a last minute holiday to the US where I started drinking again and eating what I wanted and DD arrived in September!

@Catconfusion and @sadtoday21 thanks so much for all the info. I'm definitely going to order that thermometer and start temping. I feel like I've spent so long not knowing wth is going on so I think it might be nice to feel I have a little insight at least. Once we are actively ttc I might also use opks as I ordered a load of the cheapies right before we got our bfp.

It's interesting to hear that both @HidingFromDD and @bananamonkey both conceived when taking a break from trying. I've heard lots of stories of that happening and in a way it happened to me as I'd written that cycle off because dh was going to be away for most of it!

Thanks @sadtoday21 it definitely looks good.

@HidingFromDD I completely identify with that feeling of excitement. I'd had a tiny bit of spotting but we were really excited about the scan. The last thing we expected at 10 weeks was I heartbeat. Having a mmc seemed such a rare tragedy we never dreamed it would happen to us.

It's amazing what relaxation can do. We were on our honeymoon and weren't really trying in particular. I didn't have a clue where I was in my cycle even. Congratulations on you lovely grown up children now! Xx

Glad you here you got out @bananamonkey and hopefully you'll feel better. The Ivy is a good shout. We went there for our year anniversary of meeting. It was lovely. What gig are you going to? One day when we're not saving we'll make it out for live music again. Love a good gig!

The Ava bracelet looks really good. I love the idea of something you can wear and not have to think about. That morning ritual of uploading my data has really got me down. Unfortunately Ava isn't compatible with IBS so Ovusense really is the best option.

@Amanda81 I think there's only one solution - once a month holidays! 🙂 xx

Have a lovely evening everyone and happy birthday for the morning @bananamonkey Xx

Sorry @Amanda81 meant @AnnaMC214

How are you @Amanda81 ? Is your cycle still looking good? I hope it's evened out a bit now! Xx

@HidingfromDD thanks so much for sharing your story with us. It’s great to know that other women have had positive endings after mmc. I think you are probably right that it happens when you least expect it to.

@Catconfusion thinking of you and hoping you are doing ok. I know it’s so frustrating to just wait and feel like there’s nothing you can do. Also related to what @AnnaMC214 said about wishing we’d started this journey earlier. I’ve also been with DH for ten years (married for last five) and I don’t know why I waited so long. I just didn’t know it would be like this I guess. Now also feeling the pressure for it to happen right away, as would like at least two. I hope we are all pregnant again in the next few months! 😊

Hey @Catconfusion - feeling a bit squiffy today, think I've caught a bug. Hopefully a 24 hr thing. Laid up on the sofa, wrapped in a blanket, hot water bottle and the heating turned up to tropical.

I'm going to catchup on the thread tonight, there's been a lot of posts today. Hope you are okay xx

Thanks @sadtoday in other news I just got a positive okp. I though I got positive ones last week but they weren't as dark as this. I used the LH analyser on the Fermometer app and it was high. This is a really nifty tool even if the rest of the app is rubbish. Things might be looking up after all. Xx

I'm so sorry @Amanda81 that you're now ill again. I do hope it passes and doesn't mess with your cycle too much. Xx

Wow @sadtoday21 the LH analyser tells you how much LH. The one from today was peak as you can see and 94. The one I thought was positive from last week is only 58 and just high. I really hoped it's a good sign as we timed dtd perfectly this afternoon if so. We've done it most days for the week and I'm knackered so I hope temps go up tomorrow or the day after. Xx

Wow that’s so clever! That’s the darkest I’ve ever seen one (apart from one I did in pregnancy to check). Everything crossed for you! 🤞🏻 I did one today and it was about half that strength I would say.

Going to see The Good the Bad and the Queen, not a particular fan but DH got tickets ages ago and I forgot it was on my birthday so will be a good rare night out together. And I’ve barely drunk alcohol since November so I’m having a big gin!

Oh no @Amanda81 hope you feel better soon

@bananamonkey I now know I've never had a strong positive one. Not that I've tried them much as not recommended for pcos.

I've heard of them but don't know any of their stuff. Have a lovely time!

This is the app. You an get a free trial even if you don't have the thermometer. Just think the LH analyser is really clever. Xx

@Catconfusion interesting, mine never told me an actual number for LH, maybe that was the premium version? I've also never gotten dark lines like that on OPKs - well done! I'm sure you will get a temp rise soon to confirm it. You guys have all inspired me to break out my thermometer again tomorrow morning, despite the lack of EWCM!

@Amanda81 hope you feel better soon! Take good care of yourself

@bananamonkey happy early birthday! I hope you have a great night tomorrow - you deserve it!

I get the numbers on the LH @sadtoday21, so should you as you have bought a device. I have the premium version of the app and was able to get this as I have the thermometer. Like you though, I've only ever get one dark line on an Ic opk, which has only registered as high on the app...so well done on targeting your LH surge @Catconfusion.

Feeling better this morning, so definitely a 24 hr bug. The stabby pains have also stopped, which must have been related to my tummy upset. There is a theme with me getting tummy troubles when my hormones are out of whack, so am chalking it down to hormones settling...

This cycle will be over with soon (hopefully) and I can get back on with a nice new fresh one. If I had of caught this cycle, FF had predicted my due date as Christmas Day which has a niece ring to it. My temps are still up at the moment, but know I haven't been trying this cycle, so odds are not in my favour.

Happy Friday everyone! Hope you are all okay xx

Happy birthday @bananamonkey hope you have a lovely day and a great time tonight.

Happy Friday everyone else! X

Good morning everyone,

@Amanda81 thanks it was a little random. I got some twitching pains yesterday afternoon and had just downloaded the app. Just did one by chance really. Realised it was much darker than the ones from before the failed ovulation so thought I'd use the app to check. I've woken up with twitching pains too so I'm hoping O happens today. Hopefully should get the temp rise over the weekend.

Arh a christmas baby. You never know. Your dtd was fairly close to O. If not hopefully af will come quickly so you can start again. My tummy is really sensitive to hormonal changes as well. It's always upset post O. I personally have felt it's got worse as I've got older. Xx

@sadtoday21 yes premium but I think you should have that as @amanda81 said. It's a really handy tool. I'm on a trial but tempted to get the fermometer to get the app free as premium is expensive. Xx

@bananamonkey I hope the gig was good and you have a fun day today! Xx

Have a lovely Friday everyone! Xx

Happy Birthday @bananamonkey 🎂🍰🎂🍰🎂🍰🎂 have a fab day x

@bananamonkey happy birthday!! I'm so glad to hear you got out yesterday and felt better for it. I hope you have a lovely evening out.

@Catconfusion that's great news about your positive opk. What did your temp do today? I like the look of the lh analyser on that app. I've had good strong positive opks in the past but I found I had to test twice a day to not miss the surge.

@Amanda81 so glad to hear your feeling better now and you're not going to be stuck feeling poorly all weekend.

How is everyone else doing today? We made it to the weekend! 😊 xx

@bananamonkey happy birthday!!! Hope you enjoy it and relax today.

@Catconfusion I did the temping today and interestingly it is still 36.5, which has pretty much consistently been my pre-O temp from last cycle. I didn't temp before the miscarriage, so not sure whether these temps are higher or lower than normal, but it seems fairly high for pre-O temps to me. Only on CD11, so will see if O is around the same time as it should be or whether the early mc has messed it up. Now that the bloods are out of the way I am going to start the evening primrose oil tonight - anyone else doing this as well? It's supposed to help regulate hormones and build up some nice EWCM. Will let you know how it goes!

Have a great weekend everyone! Enjoy the sunshine