First Pregnancy Missed Miscarriage

[sadtoday21]

Hello everyone - I've never posted on these forums before, but I had a missed miscarriage at 9 weeks and I found out at the 12 week dating scan two days ago. It was my first ever pregnancy. Yesterday, I had D&C and now recovering. Really healthy otherwise and no signs at all that anything was wrong during the pregnancy, although I never had any morning sickness.

I am really in shock and this happened on the 1 year anniversary of my mom's death (breast cancer), so the whole thing just feels like too much to handle. DH (dear husband) is very supportive, but I don't have any women friends to talk to, besides one who is more than 20 weeks pregnant and well...I just can't deal with that. Any advice on how to recover emotionally and also when to start trying again? GP said to wait 3 weeks, but I don't think I can wait that long. Please help and thank you.

Good morning ladies, it's definitely a failed ovulation. FF has removed its ovulation detection. I'm really sad about it. Either my body will now try again or we have the long wait for a period to come. It can be a long wait if anovulatory. I know from how my cycles were years ago. I'm just hoping my body now kicks in and I get another LH surge.

@sadtoday21 and @AnnaMC214 completely with you on the wasting time front. My baby was there not developing for 3/4 weeks without me knowing anything was wrong and 5/6 weeks before the surgery. Conceiving twice is a good sign but I'm worried about the impact two miscarriages has had on my body and wondering whether it's delayed a healthy pregnancy even more.

Sometimes it's hard to stay positive. I've been so careful with my body. I've given up stuff just in case I'm in the two week wait and I'm not! Now I'm thinking I should have had that wine on our six month anniversary.

It sucks but my inositol supplement comes today so that might help with my ovulation. I'm expecting ovulation to come sporadically if it even does so we have no choice but to dtd every other day. OKPs seem to be unreliable in cycles like these so I have no other way of figuring out what's going on.

I'm trying to look on the bright side that it's not a weak ovulation and a progesterone problem. Also I have O'd much later in cycles, including the two I conceived in so not necessarily a bad sign.

Anyway I hope the rest of you are feeling positive today and looking forward to the weekend. Xx

@Catconfusion sorry you're feeling down and that this has happened. I didn't know anything about failed ovulation or that your body could try again in the same cycle so thanks for sharing and helping us learn about it. Fingers crossed for another O later in your cycle and like you said the last 2 times this happened you conceived so hopefully a good thing. Sending lots of love x

@sadtoday21 good luck with the tests today. Hoping for the best possible results x

Thanks @3204ECL I really appreciate your support. How are you doing today?

PCOS is such a complicated condition. I'd hoped since I fell pregnant naturally and the cysts were gone I'd somehow recovered.

The cycles I conceived on didn't have a failed ovulation according to my temps I just ovulated late in them 3/4 weeks in. It's the first time I've caught a failed ovulation since I started temping so I'm really not sure what happens next.

When I was younger I'd go months without periods and it's likely this sort of thing was the cause - failed ovulation. If I can't see an ovulation in the next couple of weeks I'll go and see my GP and see if I can take something to bring my cycle back. PCOS makes ttc really hard! Xx

@sadtoday21 As @3204ECL said I really hope the tests show no hcg so you can get on. It sucks being in limbo like you are! Xx

@Catconfusion I'm good thanks, AF seems very normal so far which is a huge relief.

Again thanks for sharing, I must admit I didn't really know anything about PCOS. I'm sorry it's been something that's been so difficult and gone on for such a long time for you.

Fingers and toes and everything crossed for O in the next couple of weeks. X

That's brilliant @3204ECL so hopefully now you can get back on track. Did you find the temping helpful? Will you continue with it?

Thanks, it's been a concern for many years, that's why it was such a shock to fall pregnant straight away and then the second time. I hope it's just a hormone imbalance from the miscarriage that's caused this and I'll either get a period quickly or ovulate later on! Xx

Good luck @sadtoday21 - everything crossed for you 🤞🏼😘 How is everyone else doing? Apologies for the lack of posting, been a bit manic with work and life in general. I have been keeping up with the thread though. It would appear that AF has finally left the building, for this month anyway. I'm hoping for a good couple of weeks of hopefully feeling brighter and more positive and ttc and continuing on my journey, moving forwards.
Happy almost Friday girls!
Xxx

@Catconfusion I'll definitely continue with temping, I've found it really helpful even though it's been a bit erratic pre AF. At the moment it's predicting a very different O day to the old app I just used to use to keep track of AF dates. Think I'll need to try using OPK stocks this time as well just to make sure I don't miss it!

Fingers crossed it's a hormone imbalance. I know my temps were all over the place when I started after the MMC but they've gradually become more consistent as things have settled down. X

@3204ECL good that you got on with it. Such a reliable indication of when ovulation happened. Opks are a good idea to get a better prediction. Good your cycles calmed down. Now you can get a better picture of what's going on.

It's so strange as my cycle after the surgery at 12 weeks pregnant was really normal, it's this cycle that's crazy. I guess conceiving again and losing again has thrown things up in the air. Hopefully either I will ovulate or next time will be better. Xx

Hi. I've only just seen this thread and not read it all but just wanted to say that I've been there too.

I waited 3 months and then started trying. Took 3 cycles and then I found out I was pregnant. My beautiful dds are now 23 and 21. I'm sure you'll be where I am one day x

I’m sorry @Catconfusion I don’t know much about PCOS or anovulatory cycles (didn’t even know that was a thing till this thread) but it must be so disappointing.

A bit random and I don’t know if it helps at all but there’s a podcast called Feel Better Live More I listen to and I remember there’s an episode with a woman called Angelique Panagos who is a nutritional therapist with PCOS who talks about her struggle to conceive, I know she has a book about diet for helping hormonal balance.

Thank you for your input @HidingFromDD It really helps to hear positive stories. We all need a bit of hope at the moment. Do you still think about your miscarriage? Do you look back and see it as a significant life trauma? I'm just wondering how the pain of miscarriage feels over time and after DC are born. Xx

Thank you @bananamonkey for the suggestion of the podcast. I'll look it up.

It is disappointing and I've been apprehensive about ttc my whole adult life because I knew my cycles weren't normal. Most women with PCOS do have children it's just a little trickier. It's reassuring I have been ovulating since I started temping in August though. Even normal women have the odd anovulatory cycle or a long cycle so it's hopefully not a sign my symptoms are getting worse.

Are you excited about the weekend? How are you feeling now? Xx

@LMLP91 @3204ECL @bananamonkey @Catconfusion @Amanda81 @AnnaMC214 thank you all so much for wishing me well on the tests. Just did the FMU sample and going to get the blood later today. Last time it took 3 business days for results, so I’m going to try to wait to call until Tuesday or Wednesday next week. Trying to care less about it than last time and just adopt the attitude that whatever happens happens and I can’t control it. Easier said than done! Will need to find some good distractions over the weekend. How are all of you doing this morning?

@Catconfusion I’m so sorry about the failed O attempt. It’s really frustrating to not know when it’s going to happen and to have long cycles. I envy women with 28 day cycles! I’m glad you can get on the supplement today and hopefully the temp rise will happen in the next few days. What day did you O on when you conceived? Sending you hugs 🤗

@3204ECL so pleased the temping is going well and agree OPKS are also useful, although only the digital ones ever work for me. Good luck with it this month!

@LMLP91 good to hear AF is finally done. Are you tracking O this month?

@SARmum14 how’s the new job going? ❤️

Thanks @sadtoday21 I hope the weather is good so you can at least get outside to distract yourself. It sounds like it's likely you'll get a negative result but I can appreciate your apprehension. Is DH free to spend the whole weekend with you? I always find the waiting side of ttc better if DH is around. It's when I'm alone I ruminate about things.

I conceived on day 24 I think with the first pregnancy (I didn't have internet on honeymoon so can assume from temp when I got home it was around then). I'm day 24 today. The second time was day 28 but after mmc surgery so was likely to be late because of that. My latest ovulation date is day 34 during my first cycle temping. Wedding stress seemed to delay things.

This time I'm sure it's a hormonal imbalance. Like @Amanda81 said it's a WTF cycle. To make it worse my LP is 17 days so such a long wait for AF or a positive test. Our baby, if we have one will be a 2020 baby now for sure.

I guess if the mmc has taught me anything its to prepare for the worst. The worst case scenario is my pcos coming back. It's most likely just the aftermath of two miscarriages. I'm doing all I can by taking the inositol and tweaking my diet - I'm cutting out dairy and gluten. Fingers crossed it just works! Xx

Some interesting information that might shed some light on why I've not been offered fertility testing. This study suggests even women with low egg reserves shown in fertility blood tests have a good chance of getting pregnant. I guess they see it as an unnecessary cost early on in ttc.

www.nhs.uk/news/pregnancy-and-child/hormonal-fertility-tests-waste-time-and-money/

@Catconfusion I'm so sorry that failed O has been confirmed but please don't lose hope. From everything you've told us it really does sound like it could be down to your hormones being out of whack from the second mc. The positive things are that you've conceived twice and that after the mmc surgery your cycle was ok. From what I've read surgical management helps your hormones balance quicker. I also know of lots of women with pcos who have had successful pregnancies.

@sadtoday21 we're all here for you while you wait for your test results. So much of all this is "waiting and seeing" which can be complete agony. Distraction is definitely key!

Thanks @AnnaMC214 lots of positives I know but all the waiting is really frustrating. I think we've all had some degree of waiting though so I know it comes with mmc. I've taken the new supplement today so I'm hoping it helps balance things out.

How are you today? Xx

That's an interesting article @Catconfusion

Thanks for the positive story @HidingFromDD, good to have some hope!

I'm feeling a bit down this week, I don't know if low mood pre-ovulation is a thing? Just feeling a bit lonely, I don't have many local friends as I moved here to live with DH, my ante-natal group pretty much excluded me when I went back to work and now more news from them yesterday about another new baby coming shortly it's even worse as they all have second children I'm even more on the outside, I don't really have anyone to talk to.

I felt really positive a few weeks ago so don't know what this is about, I've not been able to exercise properly due to illness so think this is having an impact and am eating a load of chocolate which is not good! It's my birthday tomorrow and we have nice evening plans but otherwise not looking forward to it.

@Catconfusion I'm doing ok today thank you. Although I'm exhausted from being back at work, the distractions it offers are welcome. I really hope that you find the supplements help. It's all so frustrating when everything takes so long. I've been with my husband for 13 years (but married for only 1) and I wish I could go back in time and tell myself to get my act together quicker!

@bananamonkey I'm sorry to hear you're feeling down. It is hard moving to a new area. How long have you been here? You're not far away from me so happy to have a coffee and put the world to rights. My Instagram is @the_hancocks so add me if you have it. That goes for everyone else too.

What are your plans for your birthday? Lots of nice places to go locally. I do hope you feel better soon. Xx

@AnnaMC214 I'm glad work is a welcome distraction. It's just not fair after waiting for the right time in our lives. Whether its marriage, a nice home or a career break it's a kick in the stomach to then face stuff like this. Some people don't care about the consequences and have a baby just because they want one but I bet it's much tougher being a parent without the support and/or resources.

Try not to be hard on yourself. You did what you felt was right at the time and I'm sure it was for the best. Wind forward 5 years and I'm sure you'll look back and understand why things played out like this, as painful as it is! Xx

@bananamonkey I'm so sorry you're feeling down and lonely at the moment. I find that the emotions come in real waves and one day feel positive and the next completely despairing. I'm sure hormones have a big impact. I know how hard it can be to be faced with constant reminders and people who are pregnant/have recently had a baby. One of my friends is due to give birth to twins any day now and I've been avoiding seeing her! I cling onto the hope, and advice from others who've been through this, that the brighter days become more frequent. I hope you manage to have a lovely birthday tomorrow and treat yourself. We're all here for you if you need to talk. xx

@Catconfusion I really hope you're right!

Just out of interest did anyone use opks before their first af? I know some people have temped the whole way through but I've not tried temping yet. We're not planning on ttc until after at least one af but I'm feeling curious as to what my body might do now the post op bleeding seems to be stopping.