Thanks for all the sympathy. I feel like a massive bastard moaning about it as poor MIL doesn't have much longer. And i totally understand why i am the bottom of everyones priority list atm - as i should be really. But it is hard.
We were all last here 4wks ago (time flies!) and DH has come twice to visit in between times. MIL wants to see the boys tho too. In fact MIL has deteriorated quite a bit now so i think this may be the last, or at least penultimate visit from the dc.
It's hard to explain the house. All your suggestions would work in a 'normal' house. But this is a huge pile in a country park. If you imagine a small Victorian stately home (including decor). It's like a less fancy Downe House (Darwins house). There are 4 bathrooms (only one bath works tho), 2 sets of stairs - the posh entrance stairs and the back servants stairs. The stairs are very wide and lethal grand, with a kind of mezzanine landing overlooking the entrance hall (which ds1 like to throw soap over and try to climb). There is little heating. The plumbing is screwed. All the rooms are full of gorgeous antiques and glass collections etc (think a very full antique shop in a posh village) as well as stock piles of bleach and rat poison. There is a 'larder' that a restaurant kitchen would be proud of.
DH went to bed at 8.30 last night with DS1 (ds one can open the door so if he woke and came out he would fall down the stairs) so i was alone with DS2. DS2 screams if you put him down. My back is so crappy i can't put him in a travel cot or on the floor. There are about 8 bedrooms but only 2 are seviceable. Me and the dc sleep in a double bed with DH sleeping on the floor at the end. This is partly the reason we have put off getting ds1 into his own bed as he has to sleep with us at both GPs house and we visit often, so it would undo all our efforts.
Don't get me wrong, it really is the most beautiful house and the furniture and decor is gorgeous. But it's not toddler/child friendly at all and it needs a lot of work. In fact the boiler has gone again so we are without heat today too. PILs have a gas fire in the lounge and that tends to be the only room they heat. The fridge has broken and they are still using it. So as well as out of date food, it's now all being kept in what is essentially a luke warm cupboard. mmmmmm
The tv is over 25 years old and only MIL can work it.
Pils have been joking constantly about fil not being able to cook or turn the telly on but it's okay because 'he has a woman who can' this weekend, as if MIL is going to be around forever. They aren't grasping that poor mil probably wont even be here this time next month. Nthing is planned. Fil can't look after himself, use the microwave or even turn on the fucking tv. What the fuck is he going to do?
GAH!!!