February/March FET

[Willard89]

Hi all, looking to start a chat with anyone transferring February or March time. I have my baseline scan booked in next week and if all goes to plan then I'll start treatment & have my second frozen transfer on 4th March. My first FET in September 2024 sadly failed 😞
Any transfer buddies?

@KenIsAnAccessory it looks very clear to me!!!

So sorry to hear of all your losses. Isn't it sad how this process numbs you over time? I remember the day I saw my first ever positive and the joy and excitement was palpable. That ended as a missed miscarriage at 10 weeks. My last transfer ended at 6 weeks. Lines don't have too much meaning for me either. I feel like I have to guard my heart.

I took a FRER too with the same urine (forgot I had one). It looks similar to yours. I've got everything crossed!🤞🏻🤞🏻🤞🏻

Oh @BellaRosex and @KenIsAnAccessory those lines look great. I’m tentatively pleased for you both. However, as you both say, it’s just not the same once you’ve had a loss. I’m sorry you’ve both gone through that. Perhaps it would help if you calculated the 12 week date and focussed on that almost like the ‘positive test day’? That’s what I’m doing.

@Feliciacat yeah i found it OK last time. Apart from the fact I'm rubbish at needing a wee and the whole thing gives me anxiety I might not be able to hold it. And what if I pee on the dr? Or down my leg? 🙈🤣

@BellaRosex @KenIsAnAccessory congratulations on the lines!

Yeah it's bitter sweet getting a BFP when the hard part is getting to the 8-10 week mark. And I think you just don't realise that in the beginning? And that wait is even longer than the 2ww. 🙈 I have my fingers crossed for you both. 🤞🤞

@paintfairy hahaha! I thought the same. They’ve probably seen it all before even if you do! My bladder was crazy full for my last one because it had been empty on my first one and I was determined not to let that happen again. When they pressed it was pretty challenging! But I got through it and so will you. We’re all rooting for you.

Thanks @BellaRosex. It is hard. I always try not to get invested/hopeful but it is pretty impossible.

For full disclosure I have 3 DC so although we've done many rounds and many transfers and had many losses, I do consider myself extremely lucky. Wed just love to add one more if we can- both of us are from big families and love having a gang, and all the children are constantly asking for another baby which adds another dimension to the hope/guilt.

@paintfairy I've learnt over the years that my idea of a 'half full' bladder is what they want when transferring. And totally agree, I actually find transfer the most stressful part due to needing the loo. I get really stroppy and stressy when I need the loo anyway, then add in stressful medical procedure on top and it's not a good combo 🤣 Physically fine but for me mentally uncomfortable 🙈

Slightly better photo here. I think both my lines look fainter than yours @BellaRosex . Hoping that's just due to less due in the test 😬

@KenIsAnAccessory yes that is exactly it! Physically fine but mentally- I'm going to wet myself. 🤣 Awful. And the dr told me he wanted me to be about wetting myself and kept making me drink. 😭

Were your other DCs IVF also? I've already got one DD too, from previous IVF. So this will be my only attempt as I've got no others frozen and we wouldn't start again. I'm too old and too poor.

I’ve never conceived naturally and only conceived once through ivf (which ended in a loss). Is it anyone else’s first prospective baby? I have one more embryo in the freezer and one more round of ivf in my package. I’m likely to produce only 0-1 embryos per cycle though so there’s a real chance I might not have children.

I once said that I was at peace with being childless on another part of this forum and I got flamed because people said I shouldn’t be a mother if I thought I could be happy without children. Surely not? I think it just means I’m contented with myself and this chance at life that I get to have.

@paintfairy , yes all IVF. Never had a natural conception.

@Feliciacat that is absolutely batshit. Sorry that happened to you. I think unless you face the real possibility of never having DC you cannot understand how much you have to mentally prepare and protect yourself. People really say some stupid shit to you at all stages of the journey.

We were on our 'last' try - 4th transfer when it finally worked for DC1. Took another 4 for DC1 and 2 for DC3, 1 miscarriage since then, this transfer is of a PGT normal 5 day hatching blast so hoping it's sticky 🤞

@KenIsAnAccessory I've never ever had a natural pregnancy either. Wow, that's a lot you've been through then to get them. I don't think i could do that, it's just so mentally draining. So hats off to you for getting this far.
@Feliciacat I think that's a good place to be. Some of it may well be self preservation too and I was the same. Easier to assume it won't work. And actually there's no guarantees so I don't think I'd sensible to not be prepared in any way for it not working and life without. The people that get so hung up on it that it's their whole life, are heading for a massive struggle mentally later. So that's not exactly ideal. I had a friend who was so desperate for kids at all costs and it's just difficult to deal with being around those people too. Thankfully it eventually worked, but I am in no doubt our friendship would no longer exist, had it not.

Thank you both so much for your validation paintfairy and Kenisanaccessory. I’m sorry neither of you have had natural pregnancies. I really hope you have success with these transfers.

I don’t have anyone in my real life who this wouldn’t upset because they would all be worried about me if I shared it. So I’m going to share it here as I’m sure you’d appreciate the dark humour that gets us through:

https://www.instagram.com/reel/DCbSto8BWwT/?utmsource=igwebcopylink&igsh=MzRlODBiNWFlZA==

It’s a funny short video about people going through ivf at work vs at home.

Also, does anyone follow The Pasinis on YouTube? They’re an Italian American couple going through ivf because she has endo. I’d recommend them if you like ivf YouTubers.

Ha, I've seen that video before- so true. Just constantly put on a brave face because you know the reaction to any negativity will be invalidating comments telling you to 'be positive' or 'just adopt', or people worrying about you 🙈

I don't follow them but seen a lot of the pasinis on Instagram- they come across as a lovely couple

@Feliciacat I don't have any children either yet so I'm with you. I only conceived once naturally (after a year trying) and it ended in mc at 10 weeks. It traumatised me for a long time. We never had any luck naturally after that so (given my age) we decided to do IVF. I had my collection last summer. I had one frozen transfer a couple of months later and it took but resulted in mc at 6 weeks. This is my second FET and I can't help but think the worst.

Gosh BellaRose, that is terrible. No wonder you were traumatised. How old are you? I’m 37 but been trying since 34. Turns out I had undiagnosed endometriosis so I’ll never conceive naturally. So many people just told me to relax and it’ll happen (including DH). Some people just can’t.

Will you test again tomorrow? I’ve got a FRER from Amazon so I’m testing tomorrow.

@KenIsAnAccessory 🤣 just adopt. I love that one. Yeah, because that's the same thing? Not that I'm saying it isn't the right option for some people, but it just being made as a solution to your issue is ridiculous.
@Feliciacat I wonder about endo you know? They've never found a reason for me. But I had awful periods as a teen (ended up on the pill as I was missing school) and i spot between periods etc. So bloody difficult when your body just isn't playing the game.
@BellaRosex hopefully this is your time! 🤞 That does sound rough though.

Well @paintfairy they literally only discovered it during my egg retrieval because they poke about inside for that. Scans tend not to pick up endometriosis unless it’s really extreme. So maybe you do have it despite having scans. The only way to really find out is a laparoscopy. They might not discover it in an egg retrieval unless it happens to be around your ovaries (as mine was). I’m sorry you’ve suffered with your periods.

However, there’s not really time to get a proper investigation and surgery to remove it as ivf depends a lot on the patient’s age. So I may as well press on with ivf and maybe that’s the case for you (unless you’re under 35 which would mean you had time). I might get an investigation and surgery after I’m done trying to have a baby.

Got this FRER positive at 5dp5dt. I just had to know because I read this paper that said embryos that implant on 8dpo or 9dpo tend to be more likely to lead to live births (this doesn’t mean ones that implant later won’t but 8dpo and 9dpo are optimum). So if implantation happened at 8dpo or 9dpo then the BFP would be on 10dpo or 11dpo. After my previous loss, I just had to find out.

I also feel like I want to know my little embryos full story; even if it was failed implantation or a chemical.

Yes 🙌 @Feliciacat , great news!

I know none of us want to get ahead of ourselves but 🤞 this is a lucky sticky thread 🤞🤞🤞

Good luck today with your transfer @paintfairy

@KenIsAnAccessory Thank you! Googled about the weeing but still having a breakdown about playing it right. 🤣 On my way there now.

Oooh @Feliciacat great news!!! 💓🙏🏻

I tested again this morning and my Easy @ Home shows no progress but my FRER is looking a little stronger. The last transfer it didn't change for days and had me spiralling testing multiple times a day. This time I'm limiting myself to once a day, in the morning and taking each day as a small success.

Good luck for your transfer today @paintfairy ! Don't make my mistake and over fill your bladder. I had to ask the nurse if I could relieve even a little bit because my transfer was running behind and I was in so much pain. Don't know how I managed but was able to go to the loo, let out a few drops and abruptly stop 🤣. It was risky but needed to happen. My clinic says "comfortably full".

Sorry just seeing this! Same age as you and same length of time trying!!!

Oh nothing bothers me more when people tell you to just relax and it'll happen. I even had a nurse at my GP tell me that she couldn't get pregnant so went out with her husband got drunk and then got pregnant that night..... 🙄 I've tried everything in the book. IVF isn't a decision taken lightly..

@BellaRosex it's so bloody hard! I already feel like I need a wee. 😭

All done! And they were slightly late and the wee aspect was not good. But everything else went OK.
They must be cutting back as they didn't even give me a pregnancy test? 🤔🤣

Oh gosh! That sounds rather disorganised. Well done for completing it though. I’d say to make sure you get a non-sensitive test for OTD because if it’s sensitive then it may not be a firm positive on OTD. I got some off Amazon because all the shop ones seem to be sensitive.