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what do you think? was the resturant right?

449 replies

2shoes · 12/07/2008 12:26

or is it discrimination

I now await being asked to not take dd to places incase she puts people off their food.

OP posts:
stitch · 12/07/2008 17:32

jimjam, you are so caught up in your ownlittle world, that you cant see beyond yourself and your dc.
just because someone is disabled does not mean they are better than the able bodied nt rest of the world. or the other way around.
their are two sides to every sitution. it is the wise person who looks and empathises with both sides. try doing that. it may give you a different outlook.
what should this lady do? take her custom elsewhere. somewhere where the owner wont be so spinless perhaps?

lulumama · 12/07/2008 17:32

it is not just about tolerating spitting is it foxymolly. i don;t think she is walking up to ther diners, leaning over and spitting deliberately in their dinner

i think the spitting thing has been put in to make people wrinkle their noses in disgust

maybe she spits food into a napkin or her plate, or maybe on the floor, but if it is not in other peoples plates, then deal with it!

is it any worse than someone sneezing near you, if they don;t cover their nose and mouth?

foxymolly · 12/07/2008 17:33

Why would I object to tube feeding?
Why are you making silly assumptions?

lulumama · 12/07/2008 17:33

'if you cant spit discreetly into a napkin you shouldn't be allowed in the restaurant.'

really? so she should be effectively banned?

that is DISCRIMINATION

that is as wrong as banning someone for being black or asian or muslim

foxymolly · 12/07/2008 17:34

No its not, spitting on the floor is offensive. Being black isnt.

lulumama · 12/07/2008 17:34

stitch, do you think he is right to take her money if she has a meal delivered? her money is good enough, but she isn;'t , i thikn that is gross and appalling hypocrisy

expatinscotland · 12/07/2008 17:34

'jimjam, you are so caught up in your ownlittle world, that you cant see beyond yourself and your dc.'

Well, WTF? How'd that happen? I'm there, too.

It's called Planet Maturity, a place where people see someone like that in a restaurant and think, 'Oh, poor lady! Bet she's got some terrible disease. There but for the grace of God go I. Waiter, may I please have the chicken?' and continue eating their meal. Because they grew up to realise It's Not All about Me.

foxymolly · 12/07/2008 17:35

I still understand why she is spitting on the floor?

BetteNoire · 12/07/2008 17:35

"he is stuck between a rock and a hardplace.
frying pan or fire? which should he choose?"

He's chosen to tell this woman that she is not welcome in his restaurant, via a friend!

So he has chosen the path of least resistance.

Any restaurateur with class would have welcomed her with open arms, suggested she bring any other friends with similar disabilities, and offered special lunchtime menus - that sort of thing.

Advertise locally that disabled people are welcome - and that they are delighted to have the renowned artist amongst their regular clientele.

A professional restauranteur would tell customers where to stick their ignorance and lack of empathy if they complained - whilst having in place an effective set of procedures for people that refuse to pay.

His business is clearly struggling, as he says he lies awake at night worrying.

One woman could not decimate a healthy and well-run business.

As it turns out, this man has clearly picked on a well-connected and extremely determined lady.

Good for her for making as much noise in the media as she can.

It is possible, of course, that she is an annoying, loud, flamboyant, artistic creature that has been a bit of a pain ever since she started frequenting his restaurant, and he is now using her disability as an excuse to ban her.

Either way, he has cooked his own goose(sic).

His lack of professionalism and awareness will be his downfall.

Mercy · 12/07/2008 17:35

She's not doing it on purpose!!!

lulumama · 12/07/2008 17:35

but she is spitting due to a disability

ergo

discrimination

OverMyDeadBody · 12/07/2008 17:35

I think the restaurant owner could have just made some adjustments so she could eat there and not put possibly sensitive punters off at the same time.

As a business owner myself I will go out of my way to help my regular customers, over and above one off customers, and she'd been going there two years! Surely a dedicated table in the corner for her would have been a perfectly acceptable solution all round? (I'm not saying hide her away, just be a bit more sensitive to the issues and accomodate her needs without putting other customers off).

TheFallenMadonna · 12/07/2008 17:36

When I was young my mum and I were in a cafe, and there was a girl with I think CP and her mother at another table. And she was not eating especially tidily. And the manager came over and asked the mother if they would leave because other customers had complained it was putting them off their food. My mum told him to ask those customers to leave because their attitude was putting her off her food.

Plus ca change and all that

stitch · 12/07/2008 17:36

lulu, he is not taking her money for nothing, he is still delivering her a meal.
what i dont understand is why anyone would want a takeaway from a place that is barring them in the first place?
we have already established that thisman is not the ideal man. but..... o, i feel i am going round and round in circles.

jimjamshaslefttheyurt · 12/07/2008 17:36

stitch- I've just mentioned 100 other children. I'm hardly caught up in my own little world. Your posts have demonstrated you don't understand anything about disability or the disabled world.

And you still haven't said what you think these people who can't behave according to social norms for reasons of disability should do if they happen to be hungry when out and about. (or should they not go out).

lulumama · 12/07/2008 17:36

i am there with jimjams and expat

there but for the grace of god, myself and my children are NT

what if something happens later in life to any of us? shall i look forward to a life time of me or them being shunned and looked down on as disgusting and dirty and not fit to be seen in normal society

i hope not

Hecate · 12/07/2008 17:36

move over a bit, expat. It's crowded in here.

Who stepped on my foot?

foxymolly · 12/07/2008 17:36

You are assuming his businness will now suffer. I think you are wrong. I would quite happily eat there. Only time will tell if he's cooked his goose or not.

zippitippitoes · 12/07/2008 17:37

she isnt spitting in the customers food for goodness sake

and yes it is about other custyomners too

yes i have seen that first hand

the grimaces and impatience while they wait for someone with as disasbility to count out their allowance to buy a soft toy and they totally spoil that persons pleasure

lulumama · 12/07/2008 17:37

well, i guess you and i will have to agree to disagree stitch

i thikn it is wrong to take her money and deliver her meal, but she is not good enough to eat in his restaurant

expatinscotland · 12/07/2008 17:37

It's not like she'd have been eating there for very much longer, either. She's going to die from Huntington's. Before she does, it's going to rob her of the ability to even stand up or know who she is.

jimjamshaslefttheyurt · 12/07/2008 17:37

Agree with OMDB

And TheFallenMadonna - I want to kiss people like your mum when I meet them.

OverMyDeadBody · 12/07/2008 17:37

BettyNoire my sentiments exactly.

lulumama · 12/07/2008 17:37
LongLiveGreenElizabeth · 12/07/2008 17:37

I haven't read the whole thread just the start of that link, but I don't understand her disability. She spits on the floor? Me.no.understand.

If I saw that it would make me look away quite quickly.

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