what do you think? was the resturant right?

[2shoes]

or is it discrimination

I now await being asked to not take dd to places incase she puts people off their food.

np, i know exactly what you mean.
its not the childs fault. and he has every right to be there to watch th efilm. however, so do your dd's. in this instance, i think i would preferably take the oppurtunity to teach my kids a lesson in tolerance for others, and take them to see the film agian, should they deal with it well.

And so someone with say a learning diffiuclty who can't stick to an expected norm of behaviour should never be allowed out?

What planet are some of you living on?

What do you suggest people who can't abide by a norm of behaviour whether for reasons of physical or mental disability actually DO?

I'm just back from taking my son to buy walking boots- at one stage he lay on the floor and screamed whilst people stepped around him.

He likes walking. Should he be denied the opportunity because some oversensitive norms can't cope with a bit of floor rolling for a few seconds.

He behaves like that in most places. Should he be confined to the house for his entire life.

THINK about what you say.

jimjams tell me what i should have done (if anything) and ill do it next time

And no he's never been to the cinema.

so people with disabilitiers should only be allowed to go to places like benfit offices and railway stations that most people hate anyway not anywhere nice like a pub or a gig or alton towers

jimjam, i think that you are being overly sensitive. you have good reason to be, but there is no need to be so negative to the rest of us, who are living the best way we can.

How do you know where she was spitting or how obvious it was? Its easy to say don't stare and make assumptions but you have no idea of what was actually happening.

Why is she spitting onto the floor anyway, surely she could spit into a napkin.

It is not acceptable to spit on the floor in a restaurant, think of the health and safety issues.

Very good points, Hecate and Jimjams. Assuming the restaurant owner is telling the truth, any customers who complain should simply be told "didn't you know it's rude to stare?".

I would not stare, I would not pass comment to either her or the restaurant, but I don't think I could eat a meal nearby. I would not want to make her feel uncomfortable, but on the other hand I would be feeling uncomfortable and would probably go elsewhere. As I said shouting and jumping about wouldn't bother me in the slightest but spitting or other bodily functions while I am eating is not nice. If someone was there once or twice and put a few people off, fair enough, but if it is all the time it could put a lot of people off.

"and he is doing his best in a very awkward situation"

His best?

By telling a regular client that they are banned from eating in his restaurant because their disability is unsightly.

Except that he didn't quite have the bollocks to do that to her face, did he?

He passed a message on via a friend.

I fully hope that many other of his regular customers gather up this lady into their social circle, and find somewhere else to eat together.

jimjams there is a difference between a child having a tantrum in a shop and preventing someone from hearing a film in a cinema.

a tantrum on the floor doesnt stop me buying shoes

anyway. im taking dds back to see the film tomorrow. another £16

Its not the restaurant owner's fault though is it? If what he says about people refusing to pay for their meal because of been put off their food then its the fault of the other customers.

oh Jimjams - over the last few years I have come to understand that folks like us should gather up our kids and lock them all in a big building and feed them through a tiny hole in the door lest we offend the delicate sensibilities of Decent Normal People

Alcatraz is empty, I believe....

I don't think lying on the floor screaming can in any way be compared to spitting on a restaurant floor, which is revolting.

No one said this lady was never allowed out, but why is it that only her feelings are being taken into account and the feelings of the other diners who have to witness this are being ignored?

Oh, health & safety. I wondered how long it would be before someone rolled that tired old excuse out. I remember when they used to claim wheelchair users couldn't be allowed in places in case there was a fire... funny how the world hasn't ended now disabled access is a legal requirement, isn't it?

jimjam, when i am in a confined space with a screaming child, such as an aeroplane. do you know what annoys me the most? the father having a go at the mother for not keeping th e child quiet. not the baby. he is just expressing himslef the only way he knows how.
or the parents having a go at the stewards for not providing their chld with space to run around in, with all the toys of a playgroup for the pfb(even if it is a third child)

so if i saw you with a screaming child today, the child wouldnt have btohered me, but if you had given me a dirty look, then you would have really annoyed me. your child cant help himself. but youcan.

And restaurants are full of obnoxious people. You can't guarantee you won't have any annoying drunks sat near you who think their antics are amusing.

The only evidence we have for spitting on the floor is the restaurant owner's claim. And I'm not inclined to believe him.

stitch you try learning something about disability. none of the incontinent people I know would be expected to sort it out for themselves.You sounds as if you think disability= person in a wheelchair who can otherwise live totally independently.

nailpolish- ds1 has never seen a film in a cinema. I've never taken him because I can't face the tutting.

I do take him out for meals (cafes, pubs and McD's) now and don't give a shit I ignore the people who tut or stare at their shoes. I;ve realised he has as much right to access the community as his non-disabled peers.

I haven't taken him to the cinema becuase I know school does when they're a bit older (6 learning disabled teens- that'll be fun for the other punters). Last time they went the cinema offered to turn the volume down if it was too loud for the kids.

The facilities can be inclusive- even if the punters aren't,

DO you know what you are right, let this lady keep going to the restaurant and spitting on the floor.

In the end the man will have to shut the business down and then the issue of her going there will be resolved won't it.

Don't worry about the man who has lost his business or his family, as long as we only consider the lady with the disablity's feelings.

(I'm not saying this lady is obnoxious, btw, just arguing it is ridiculous that people deal with very odd behaviour from NT strangers but get their knickers in a twist when it comes to disability. Wrong way round, IMO.)

another report the owner asked someone to pass on the message that she should stay away. so he didn't even tell her himself

well just so you know

i didnt tutt once. nor did my children.

i am offended that you think everyone who doesnt have a disabled child would tutt.

This poor woman has one of the most cruel diseases that I know of. HD will gradually strip her of her ability to move, to swallow, her personailty will go.

It is so hard for the patient and also those around her.

and now the por bloody woan can'tgo to her favorite resturant while she still has some ability to do so!

Shame on the owner

I think I would believe him - why would he want to ban his most regular customer unless she is losing him money by other customers been put off.

Oh don't be ridiculous, no-one has shut his restaurant down, cost him his business or his family. And if he's so worried about it, he's in the wrong game - a scarily high proportion of restaurants fail. The majority.