Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Higher education

Talk to other parents whose children are preparing for university on our Higher Education forum.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Devastated DD - awful reference

955 replies

AnonymousStudentParent · 15/01/2025 13:38

My undergraduate DD recently asked her Personal Tutor, by email, whether he could be her referee for a summer school (prestigious, with a generous scholarship scheme). She attached a link to the website of the summer school and underscored the information relating to the reference. She didn't hear back from her Personal Tutor immediately but after about 3 weeks he emailed briefly saying he'd already submitted the reference (she had anticipated him getting back to her for clarification on a couple of things she had done that she had mentioned in the email that he didn't know about). Yesterday she had a quick beginning of term meeting with him when he outlined to her the devastating terms of the reference, basically saying she was too young and under qualified for the summer school but a nice hardworking person if they wanted to take a chance on her.

My DD is neither too young nor under qualified for the summer school - quite the contrary, she's very amply qualified (though mostly outside the scope of her degree). It's in an area she is extremely knowledgeable about and she has properly researched the summer school. She spent several days in the Christmas holidays writing the extensive application.

She was too flabbergasted to react (and her time with the PT was up) on the spot. Needless to say, this isn't good for her self-confidence. Any advice to how she goes back to the PT and asks him whether he can spend a few minutes looking at the website and her application and rethink his hasty judgement? The deadline for submission of the application isn't for another couple of weeks.

OP posts:
SereneFish · 13/06/2025 16:34

I still find this one of the most wtf threads on MN.

Clockface9 · 13/06/2025 16:40

SereneFish · 13/06/2025 16:34

I still find this one of the most wtf threads on MN.

Me too actually

He provided a reference
The fact it wasn’t glowing does not
mean he wants to sabotage this DD’s future

He doesn’t think she’s up to it in 2025 but suggests 2026

end of. Seems very reasonable to me

SereneFish · 13/06/2025 16:44

Clockface9 · 13/06/2025 16:40

Me too actually

He provided a reference
The fact it wasn’t glowing does not
mean he wants to sabotage this DD’s future

He doesn’t think she’s up to it in 2025 but suggests 2026

end of. Seems very reasonable to me

Have you read it all? Most of the wtf is in the replies. I recommend it if you're ever bored!

Clockface9 · 13/06/2025 16:54

SereneFish · 13/06/2025 16:44

Have you read it all? Most of the wtf is in the replies. I recommend it if you're ever bored!

Well given I’m WTF about the thread itself, if you say the replies are even more WTF… I’ll pass!

hippityhop2025 · 15/06/2025 17:16

AnonymousStudentParent · 15/01/2025 14:12

She hasn't submitted the application yet so she hasn't given his details.

ask someone else to write a reference

New posts on this thread. Refresh page