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Devastated DD - awful reference

3 replies

AnonymousStudentParent · 15/01/2025 13:38

My undergraduate DD recently asked her Personal Tutor, by email, whether he could be her referee for a summer school (prestigious, with a generous scholarship scheme). She attached a link to the website of the summer school and underscored the information relating to the reference. She didn't hear back from her Personal Tutor immediately but after about 3 weeks he emailed briefly saying he'd already submitted the reference (she had anticipated him getting back to her for clarification on a couple of things she had done that she had mentioned in the email that he didn't know about). Yesterday she had a quick beginning of term meeting with him when he outlined to her the devastating terms of the reference, basically saying she was too young and under qualified for the summer school but a nice hardworking person if they wanted to take a chance on her.

My DD is neither too young nor under qualified for the summer school - quite the contrary, she's very amply qualified (though mostly outside the scope of her degree). It's in an area she is extremely knowledgeable about and she has properly researched the summer school. She spent several days in the Christmas holidays writing the extensive application.

She was too flabbergasted to react (and her time with the PT was up) on the spot. Needless to say, this isn't good for her self-confidence. Any advice to how she goes back to the PT and asks him whether he can spend a few minutes looking at the website and her application and rethink his hasty judgement? The deadline for submission of the application isn't for another couple of weeks.

ClaraMumsnet · 15/01/2025 22:50

Hello, can we please stop with the back and forth sniping as it's derailing the thread - thanks.

HopeMumsnet · 16/01/2025 08:47

Hi there,
Just making out presence felt a bit here, we're certainly pleased to see that the thread has got back on track.

LilyMumsnet · 16/01/2025 17:20

Hi folks

This thread seems to be getting personal. Can we draw a line now, and avoid making personal remarks about individual posters? Further posts will be removed and likely result in a temporary suspension.

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