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Original poster

don't laugh - embarrasing question

196 replies

bluehorizons · 04/07/2006 13:10

i had thrush a couple of days ago but it got really bad on a sunday when the chemists were closed. my friend told me to put some natural yoghurt down there because of the live bacteria but i didn't have any natural yoghurts but i did have some blue cheese i thought the bacteria would be the same and do the same thing. so i heated the cheese up a bit and spread it downthere. i have been doing this for a few days now but now my bits have turned a funny blue colour and the smell is awful. what should i do?

OP posts:
expatinscotland · 04/07/2006 13:22

PMSL!

We needed a thread like this!

Right up there w/Cod's pouch of douglas and kipper cock.

waterfalls · 04/07/2006 13:22

Or take some bread sticks on your date, he may be peckish

Feistybird · 04/07/2006 13:22

I repeat

hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

heavenis · 04/07/2006 13:22

You have a date, you best ask if he likes blue cheese.

foxinsocks · 04/07/2006 13:22

ask him if he would like cheese for his tea

and then kill 2 birds with one stone

pongyfanny · 04/07/2006 13:22

cancell the date!!
if you ever want to have sex witht this man, cancel the date!!!

essbee · 04/07/2006 13:22

Message withdrawn

expatinscotland · 04/07/2006 13:23

smoke the cigarette BEFORE not after. if his sense of smell is anything like hunker's he'll only smell smoke.

Original poster
bluehorizons · 04/07/2006 13:23

perhaps it was the type of blue cheese that i was using?

OP posts:
hunkermunker · 04/07/2006 13:23

Or give him some Doritos and tell him you've laid on a treat for him.

Who knows, he might enjoy it?

[vomit]

hunkermunker · 04/07/2006 13:24

EIS, I skimmed your post and wondered why on earth "anything like hunker's" was being said on this thread

NotActuallyAMum · 04/07/2006 13:24

If you're going out for meal, don't order cheese and biscuits for dessert - you won't be able to keep a straight face

noddyholder · 04/07/2006 13:25

get him some crackers and pickle he'll be over the moon!

heavenis · 04/07/2006 13:25

Yes what brand of blue cheese did you use. Maybe you could carry out research :- which cheese leaves the least smell,which cheese doesn't turn your bits a different colour.

Original poster
bluehorizons · 04/07/2006 13:25

is it meant to turn your bits blue though? i dont know what to do! perhaps i should spray with perfume and not tell him because i really want to go!

OP posts:
heavenis · 04/07/2006 13:27

Well if he doesn't ask you out on a second date you'll know the perfume didn't work.

chapswalking · 04/07/2006 13:28

the blue is rom the fungis.
do youreally want to be put in the situation where you have to tell a man you have a blue lady garden cause you were melting ripe chees onto it??
CANCEL!

waterfalls · 04/07/2006 13:29

And perfume will make your thrush far far worse, the itching will drive you insane.

BettySpaghetti · 04/07/2006 13:30

If you try some Red Leicester your bits might change to a nice shade of purple!

Blandmum · 04/07/2006 13:36

The blue in a blue cheese is a fungus not bacteria

You are not Danish , are you?

Original poster
bluehorizons · 04/07/2006 13:37

oh i dont want to admit to the doctor about this! will cream ease it?

OP posts:
shimmy21 · 04/07/2006 13:37

Pickle goes nicely with cheese....

look people, she is joking you know

Original poster
bluehorizons · 04/07/2006 13:38

i didnt know it was fungus! i have lumps down there too

OP posts:
heavenis · 04/07/2006 13:39

Have you had a soak in the bath yet. Has the blue faded yet ?

Blandmum · 04/07/2006 13:39

Gawd, are you serious?

if so , have a chat with your gp.

if not, corking post.