"likes it rough'

[Fluffymule]

I'm not sure which board this sits on today, but this is the one I have bookmarked so I'll go with it.

ITVs Love Island is back and this years participants have been announced across the tabloids and social media.

Leaving aside the wider issue of this type of reality show and it's messaging about young women, I saw something that really made me stop in my tracks when I saw it.

It's an article dedicated to one of the girls, prominently displayed on the newspaper website with the headline ' Love Island's Shannon Singh has sex 8 times a day and 'likes it rough'. Accompanied by two large photos of her posing in underwear.

Am I alone in finding this irresponsible? Shannon is, of course, totally free to do, say and wear whatever she wants. I've no issue with that, or her. My discomfort is the media yet again casually reinforcing careless and dangerous language around women.

Surely when women have lost their lives to men using the 'she wanted it rough' defence, casual normalisation like this is irresponsible?

@Iggi999

Rough sex never seems to mean treating the man roughly, does it?

Dominatrixes do just that tbf

The problem is iggi that men say this is what women want. As if being throttled, slapped about and called degrading names is genuinely arousing.

The ‘Cool Girl’ bar keeps getting raised higher.

What sort of inequality must exist in order for fuckability to be a woman’s most monetisable asset?

But generally it is the woman being treated roughly because of biology and the fact women are more submissive

There is fuck all in my biology that makes me want to be treated roughly or be submissive, in any context. What the heck are you on about here?

@AssassinatedBeauty. Well that is your choice and is of course absolutely fine!

All I meant by that comment is that generally men are bigger and stronger and more assertive

There absolutely are men who like to be dominated etc, but when a woman says she likes rough sex it is very unlikely that she means she has dominatrix tendencies. It's like all the traffic goes one way now.
What was a special interest is assumed to be true of all women these days (well not as much by middle aged dhs, I suppose)

I agree that porn is having a negative effect and that the assumption of rough sex is so wrong, but we need to teach boys and girls to be able to express what they want - whether that's hating rough sex or liking it - and accepting their partners preferences.

Shannon said outright that she liked rough sex so it wasn't an assumption... she's also being paid for stories like this. I'm

By accepting I mean not doing something they don't want to do, not kowtowing. To be clear.

Or if she wasn't paid for this specific story, have just looked it up, then she was likely paid to appear on the podcast.

It's not my "choice", it's just how I am.

Men are generally bigger and stronger than women. Whether they are assertive or not is down to their personality. Just because someone is big and strong, doesn't make them dominant or assertive.

This is about more than this one individual example, which is representative of the way women are frequently portrayed in media. It's about why none of the women have been shown in a rash vest and board shorts in their promo pics, which would surely be an equally valid "choice"... yet strangely never happens? Wonder why...

@Ozanj

A friend of mine knows her through her family - she’s a clever business woman who is nothing at all like the party girl she makes herself out to be. I would bet money all of what she has said is a lie & that just makes things worse. idiots like this say anything they want for a bit of publicity and it’s real women like us who end up suffering

She may think she's a smart business woman ,but, has she forgot remarks like these once out there on the internet never go away . What happens after the show ? These remarks will follow her .

What a happy coincidence that young women are CHOOSING to do things that happen to align with what men want!

So biology

Women are more submissive

Wow.

Being a woman means you are more likely to enjoy being treated roughly by a partner

Awesome

All I meant by that comment is that generally men are bigger and stronger and more assertive

All the fucking eye rolls

Do you identify as a feminist @Flower8919?

@Beamur

No, which is why I said fine with consent. It's degrading if you're not keen.

So is any sex! Gentle missionary when you don't want it is as rape, as is any other form.

It's not the type of sex but the consent, you are conflating two issues here.

Acting like there's something wrong with liking rough sex.. there isn't.

There’s nothing wrong with being sexually aroused by someone behaving violently towards you?

You sure about that?

Wow! Men are more assertive than women! What sexist crap.

@BernardBlackMissesLangCleg

Acting like there's something wrong with liking rough sex.. there isn't.

There’s nothing wrong with being sexually aroused by someone behaving violently towards you?

You sure about that?

Yes, I wouldn't have said it otherwise would I. I've had 'rough sex' with a loving partner at MY request now stop kink shaming me and other women please.

now stop kink shaming me and other women please

Asking you to think about the reality and context of your choices isn’t‘link shaming’ (whatever the fuck that is)

Do you think the fact that you find violence against you satisfying is context free?

That’s a bit naive

@WeeBisom

What a happy coincidence that young women are CHOOSING to do things that happen to align with what men want!

Indeed!

@BernardBlackMissesLangCleg

Yes I do identify as a feminist!

[quote Flower8919]@BernardBlackMissesLangCleg

Yes I do identify as a feminist![/quote]
Who thinks that women are naturally submissive

Crikey

I do not think feminist means what you think it means

I'm not conflating consent with type of sex at all..a curious assertion. We weren't talking about sex in general, the thread is about rough sex.
You're correct, any kind of non consensual sex is wrong.
Women are more submissive? That's a stereotype, not a fact. Men are on average stronger than women, that's a fact.

@BernardBlackMissesLangCleg

now stop kink shaming me and other women please

Asking you to think about the reality and context of your choices isn’t‘link shaming’ (whatever the fuck that is)

Do you think the fact that you find violence against you satisfying is context free?

That’s a bit naive

Why are you so insistent that women can't enjoy or even (gasp!) Initiate rough sex?

This kind of bollocks really turns me off feminism. Who are you to shame my sexual preferences and that of other eomen?