"likes it rough'

[Fluffymule]

I'm not sure which board this sits on today, but this is the one I have bookmarked so I'll go with it.

ITVs Love Island is back and this years participants have been announced across the tabloids and social media.

Leaving aside the wider issue of this type of reality show and it's messaging about young women, I saw something that really made me stop in my tracks when I saw it.

It's an article dedicated to one of the girls, prominently displayed on the newspaper website with the headline ' Love Island's Shannon Singh has sex 8 times a day and 'likes it rough'. Accompanied by two large photos of her posing in underwear.

Am I alone in finding this irresponsible? Shannon is, of course, totally free to do, say and wear whatever she wants. I've no issue with that, or her. My discomfort is the media yet again casually reinforcing careless and dangerous language around women.

Surely when women have lost their lives to men using the 'she wanted it rough' defence, casual normalisation like this is irresponsible?

@WoolOfBat

I called her a girl. I am genuinely sorry if that isn’t how she identifies. Please do correct me in that case.

I believe that there is a constant message being sent about young women being commodities. I detest the normalisation of prostitution and porn and I think women and girls always loose out in this. The whole “rough porn” where women get injured, in some cases divert badly so is beyond appalling.

The court cases where “she liked it rough” horrifies me.

I fear for my daughter to grow up in a world where this is normalised and I am horrified that this is a message that is being promoted to my son. Of course I am bringing him up to respect women but these kind of messages are harmful.

The added factor here is that this is how this girl is being pimped out marketed by a TV channel.

The fact that posters here think this is ok is awful.

I don't think this is OK but unlike you I'm not giving a free pass to Shannon for her complicity in this.

@Flower8919

Well that is a different issue. If that is the case then it truly is sad and girls and boys should be educated by parents and schools to avoid this.

On the other hand a grown woman should be able to post pictures of herself in her underwear without any judgement. Would you censor all images? Where do you stop? What about pictures of a woman in a bikini is that allowed?

This isn't about whether grown women should post pictures of herself in underwear. (Her social media is hers to run and people either seek it out or follow by choice.)

It's about the national media posting her pictures with brutal headlines like 'I like it rough'.

It's a very visual message viewed by millions of people passively, along with all the other similar stories and visuals that run every day.

It sets an ongoing tone about what is 'normal', and that has implications for women in real life.

No one on here isjudgingher- just the misogynistic society which continues to exploit women and see us as nothing more than decoration

I am. I think it's utter hypocrisy on the part of posters who , quite rightly, are criticising the commodification and overt sexualisation but are falling over themselves to excuse any part Shannon herself plays in this.

I saw this too. It's probably a total distortion of what she'd said in an interview too. No one has sex 8 time a day, every day, but she may well have had it 8 times in one day once and that is what they have picked up on.

When asked if she liked it "rough" what else is supposed to say? If she's said no, not really, she wouldn't have passed the audition.

I won't fall over myself to excuse her but I think she's a product of the society we live in.

Also odd how they are all CHOOSING it, but yet - for example, the BMJ survey of anal sex among teenagers found that 100% of girls had been coerced and/or raped - link to study here: bmjopen.bmj.com/content/4/8/e004996

It's also interesting how and why so many of them are finding themselves with severe anxiety and self-esteem issues, not to mention internal injuries. It's weird, eh, that so many are suddenly choosing that.

A HUNDRED percent.

Anyone who is defending a reality TV program promoting 'rough sex', on the basis of kink shaming is part of the problem.

Do you seriously think people give a shit what you get up to in your bedroom? Or do you think they are worried about every single young girl being put under pressure to do something she doesn't want?

Strewth.

When asked if she liked it "rough" what else is supposed to say? If she's said no, not really, she wouldn't have passed the audition.

There you go. Unless she promotes something that has been shown to be devastatingly dangerous to young girls, she doesn't get to be on the telly.

@Datun well said.

Can you imagine being her parents.

@KimikosNightmare

I don’t think I said that I gave this person a free pass? I believe this thread has suggested that this person was sexualised early (wrong and awful) but ultimately this person sends out a message that women are scantily dressed and likes rough sex. This message is dangerous, misogynistic and stupid. I personally think that sending out such a message shows a best a complete lack of critical thinking and a worst a regretful deficiency in the IQ department.

However, I think the fact that an organisation such a ITV is promoting this message is vastly worse than the idiocy of a single person. A legal entity should know better and should be more vigorously called out.

And I am horrified at all young girls and boys seeing this message and at all the potential implications of them internalising it.

As a complete side note, I do want to make sure that I don’t hurt anyone’s feelings by misgendering them. Misgendering is not allowed on this board.

I'd be heartbroken if she were my daughter. And so worried about her.

I think everyone on this thread are feminists and agree that this is bad!

One man doesn't want sex 8 times a day at any age. So presumably this 8 times a day is with multiple partners when she's "yachting" in the middle east. Only Fans is her brochure and Love Island her billboard.

[quote WoolOfBat]@KimikosNightmare

I don’t think I said that I gave this person a free pass? I believe this thread has suggested that this person was sexualised early (wrong and awful) but ultimately this person sends out a message that women are scantily dressed and likes rough sex. This message is dangerous, misogynistic and stupid. I personally think that sending out such a message shows a best a complete lack of critical thinking and a worst a regretful deficiency in the IQ department.

However, I think the fact that an organisation such a ITV is promoting this message is vastly worse than the idiocy of a single person. A legal entity should know better and should be more vigorously called out.

And I am horrified at all young girls and boys seeing this message and at all the potential implications of them internalising it.

As a complete side note, I do want to make sure that I don’t hurt anyone’s feelings by misgendering them. Misgendering is not allowed on this board.[/quote]
This has nothing to do with "misgendering". Posters on here get very irate at adult women being infantilised by being called "girls". Shannon is not a girl- she is an adult woman.

There you go. Unless she promotes something that has been shown to be devastatingly dangerous to young girls, she doesn't get to be on the telly
This is what liberal individual choice feminism conveniently ignores: there's whole markets based on reducing women and women's opportunities down to how much they're willing to take their clothes off for the men, how much they're willing to indulge and normalise some men's fantasies, and how much they're willing to lie to fellow women by pretending this is empowering.

I saw this and thought it was very disturbing

@Datun

When asked if she liked it "rough" what else is supposed to say? If she's said no, not really, she wouldn't have passed the audition.

There you go. Unless she promotes something that has been shown to be devastatingly dangerous to young girls, she doesn't get to be on the telly.

She could be "on the telly" if she had any talent. Presumably she has none beyond what she's doing.

@LolaSmiles well said.

She could be "on the telly" if she had any talent. Presumably she has none beyond what she's doing
Each time the wonderful public decides to give viewing figures to sex on TV shows, that removes a TV slot from any other type of show.

Then the message is sent that to make it in media that's what you do, it's viewed as normal to go on TV and sleep with people, it's considered normal to market women based on how many men they sleep with and it's considered normal for women to market themselves (aka be marketed) as a living object who'll play into male kink fantasies.

This is where liberal choice feminism misses the point: women don't have the same opportunities as men and women are limited by the patriarchy and misogyny, and institutions are all too happy to keep women in their place. The only difference is now they sell it to us as empowerment.

This is where liberal choice feminism misses the point: women don't have the same opportunities as men and women are limited by the patriarchy and misogyny, and institutions are all too happy to keep women in their place. The only difference is now they sell it to us as empowerment.

Exactly. We're all raised in a patriarchy.

The difference is made when you see it. And of course, feminism is the key.

I doubt talent is enough. I heard a busker singing at the weekend, a made-you-stop-and-look-round quality to her voice, really beautiful.
She was wearing jeans and a hoodie, no visible make up etc, hair in a pony tail.
If she was selected for stardom how long does anyone think she could continue to dress like that? She'd be put in a bodycon dress with HD brows before she could blink.

In all seriousness, can anyone give an educated estimate of what percentage of women "like it rough"?

To a large extent I'd argue that it's about getting a balance between reassuring people that their kinks are "normal" whilst also making it absolutely clear that "vanilla" is also damn normal and what right for loads of men and at least as many women.

Clearly our society is currently miles from a sensible balance between reassuring people that liking to be spanked is fine, but that not wishing to be hit is also fine and normal!

I'd imagine the ones who do are generally keeping it to themselves though (as most people like to keep their sex lives private) rather than going on about it to score cool girl points.

Sorry you asked in all seriousness... 😬 I guess it depends on the definition of 'like it rough' as well?

@Datun

This is where liberal choice feminism misses the point: women don't have the same opportunities as men and women are limited by the patriarchy and misogyny, and institutions are all too happy to keep women in their place. The only difference is now they sell it to us as empowerment.

Exactly. We're all raised in a patriarchy.

The difference is made when you see it. And of course, feminism is the key.

Women need to accept responsibility for their own actions. Whinging oh "it's the patriarchy- what can we do?" isn't good enough.

@Iggi999

I doubt talent is enough. I heard a busker singing at the weekend, a made-you-stop-and-look-round quality to her voice, really beautiful. She was wearing jeans and a hoodie, no visible make up etc, hair in a pony tail. If she was selected for stardom how long does anyone think she could continue to dress like that? She'd be put in a bodycon dress with HD brows before she could blink.

There are plenty of successful women in music industry who don't dress like that. There's more than useful idiots like Beyoncé, Nicki Minaj