"likes it rough'

[Fluffymule]

I'm not sure which board this sits on today, but this is the one I have bookmarked so I'll go with it.

ITVs Love Island is back and this years participants have been announced across the tabloids and social media.

Leaving aside the wider issue of this type of reality show and it's messaging about young women, I saw something that really made me stop in my tracks when I saw it.

It's an article dedicated to one of the girls, prominently displayed on the newspaper website with the headline ' Love Island's Shannon Singh has sex 8 times a day and 'likes it rough'. Accompanied by two large photos of her posing in underwear.

Am I alone in finding this irresponsible? Shannon is, of course, totally free to do, say and wear whatever she wants. I've no issue with that, or her. My discomfort is the media yet again casually reinforcing careless and dangerous language around women.

Surely when women have lost their lives to men using the 'she wanted it rough' defence, casual normalisation like this is irresponsible?

So I ask again, how do you protest to Love Island>

Totally irresponsible and exploitive reporting. If anything ever happens to this poor girl they have given the excuse out.

This. ^

@Datun

Totally irresponsible and exploitive reporting. If anything ever happens to this poor girl they have given the excuse out.

This. ^

Exactly. She said she liked it. He said she did like it.

So sad for young boys and girls today. How do we educate them that this isn’t normal. I know of a few 18 year old boys through my son and I think it’s too late. They have been watching hard core porn since they were 12. They watch love island. They read this rubbish. They expect girls to behave like this. I can talk to my sons but I’m their mum. I’m old. Things are different now. Blah blah

I am not saying in anyway this isn’t bad and shouldn’t change but I think probably as many women and couples are having rough sex now as they were a few years ago but that nowadays it is reported on a lot more so it seems more prevalent

As always we come down to definitions? What is rough sex? It seems from these discussions it is very broad and other posters make great points that because it is broad if things 'go too far' then the woman can be blamed.
I've never watched Love Island, I really can't see the attraction of watching desperate young people looking for fame and fortune in this way. Just because only the fumblings under the duvet are shown on TV the full recordings probably exist and someone is watching it to vet what can go on ITV.
I think the woman is being irresponsible and giving a bad message to young women and men. Normalising being hurt is not feminism it's a backward step.

Molly Mae Hague, a previous winner and young woman, is now very wealthy as a result and still with Tommy Fury, the guy she coupled up with on the programme. It never showed them having sex. There is money and careers to be made for the ones who play it well.

Molly didn't win, Amber and Greg took the crown in that season. But yes, she's probably made the most out of it overall.

It should be called Influencer Island, not Love Island really. They don't go in there looking for love. Shannon will have gone into all this with a game plan and have someone good at social media managing her accounts while she's there.

@Fluffymule

I'm not sure which board this sits on today, but this is the one I have bookmarked so I'll go with it.

ITVs Love Island is back and this years participants have been announced across the tabloids and social media.

Leaving aside the wider issue of this type of reality show and it's messaging about young women, I saw something that really made me stop in my tracks when I saw it.

It's an article dedicated to one of the girls, prominently displayed on the newspaper website with the headline ' Love Island's Shannon Singh has sex 8 times a day and 'likes it rough'. Accompanied by two large photos of her posing in underwear.

Am I alone in finding this irresponsible? Shannon is, of course, totally free to do, say and wear whatever she wants. I've no issue with that, or her. My discomfort is the media yet again casually reinforcing careless and dangerous language around women.

Surely when women have lost their lives to men using the 'she wanted it rough' defence, casual normalisation like this is irresponsible?

I agree it's disturbing, but I'm not sure that I agree with the line you've drawn between what she said and what the media said.

If it's perfectly ok for her to tell a media organisation which is paying her, when describing herself, that she likes sex 8 times a day and rough, and to pose almost nude, I am inclined to think that it is also ok for the media to say it and print the pictures. Or alternately, if it is not ok for them to say it or print those images, I don't really think it's fine and ok for her to say those things in that setting.

Of course there are all kinds of questions about whether an individual really understands the implications of doing these things, and I'm sure often they don't. And I am quite cynical about the media and their reasoning in this. But there is a place for individual responsibility as well as holding organisations to account.

This marks her out as someone who has been groomed by someone/society.

ITV should have a duty of care to her and recognise this in some of the stuff she is saying, and decide that she's not a suitable person for a show like this.

It really is a disgusting programme and I'm surprised it's still on air.

Does anyone remember celebrity love island from about 15 years ago? I think Patrick Kielty and Kelly Brook presented it, I remember Calum Best was on it (generally just being Calum Best). Who'd have thought that would look classy compared to love island today.

Not sure if this has been mentioned, but in the interview she said she started having sex very early - “too early”, and that her dad was a stripper. It just screams that she’s been highly sexualised at a young age.

@Flower8919

I am also a feminist. Yes you are entitled to your opinion and I understand that feminism is about liberation of women - so that they have the same choices as men.

I am just pointing out it is perfectly acceptable for her and any other women to like rough sex

I'd agree with this. It's the people on here shaming her for liking it rough, rather than the media. Acting like there's something wrong with liking rough sex.. there isn't.

I think you've misread the posts if that's the tone you've got from this thread. It's dismay that hyper sexualised behaviour and the normalising of degrading and uncomfortable sex is so prevalent in society and the harm this is doing to young people.
Thing is lots of young women don't like rough sex but are being pressurised into it and being told it's what everyone else is doing. Sure, it's a different story if you are having it with full and free consent. But too many people are not.

@Beamur

I think you've misread the posts if that's the tone you've got from this thread. It's dismay that hyper sexualised behaviour and the normalising of degrading and uncomfortable sex is so prevalent in society and the harm this is doing to young people. Thing is lots of young women don't like rough sex but are being pressurised into it and being told it's what everyone else is doing. Sure, it's a different story if you are having it with full and free consent. But too many people are not.

You've just proved my point by saying rough sex is degrading.. has it occurred to you that most people don't think that?

@JorisBohnson2

Yes that is a great point. Many women do enjoy rough sex without it being ‘disgusting’

No, which is why I said fine with consent.
It's degrading if you're not keen.

And immediately, some wonderful examples of dick centred lib fem on this thread

Why is it ‘dick centred’? Because it’s the woman’s choice

I suppose it's so 'liberating' to be posting pictures in underwear all the time too?

Yes it is if that’s what she wants to do and she looks great!

Rough sex never seems to mean treating the man roughly, does it?

It would be great if some influential young men came out and talked about loving slow, gentle sex.

Well it could do! And I am sure people do. But generally it is the woman being treated roughly because of biology and the fact women are more submissive

I really wish that when splitting the boards it had been done along the lines of ideology.

Reality (real) feminism

Dick pleasing, only fans promoting, #bekind for those who identify as a feminist , lack of critical thinking fem-lite

the fact women are more submissive

Oh now we know you're on a wind-up then

Oh come on Flower submissive?
Speak for yourself.
Normalising pain for women may be what you perceive as liberating but not me.