"likes it rough'

[Fluffymule]

I'm not sure which board this sits on today, but this is the one I have bookmarked so I'll go with it.

ITVs Love Island is back and this years participants have been announced across the tabloids and social media.

Leaving aside the wider issue of this type of reality show and it's messaging about young women, I saw something that really made me stop in my tracks when I saw it.

It's an article dedicated to one of the girls, prominently displayed on the newspaper website with the headline ' Love Island's Shannon Singh has sex 8 times a day and 'likes it rough'. Accompanied by two large photos of her posing in underwear.

Am I alone in finding this irresponsible? Shannon is, of course, totally free to do, say and wear whatever she wants. I've no issue with that, or her. My discomfort is the media yet again casually reinforcing careless and dangerous language around women.

Surely when women have lost their lives to men using the 'she wanted it rough' defence, casual normalisation like this is irresponsible?

[Muddydoor]

It may well be that this is an off the cuff statement that she made. Which she may very well regret in years to come.

[WoolOfBat]

Are the male presenting participants being exploited in the same way?

It doesn’t make it right (far from it) but I would like to know it it is “only” general despicable sexualisation of a young person or if misogyny comes into it.

[RaindropsOnRosie]

I do think the contestants often share stuff about their sex lives to get on the show- that in itself is not an issue but labelling a woman as 'liking it rough' instead of speaking about other aspects of her character is so disgusting. I don't care if she likes hardcore BDSM or is asexual, why not talk about why she's on the show instead, or speak about it in the article, not the title!

[littlbrowndog]

Yes mrs Overton. Was thinking out loud.

Some marketing man has made up the words for her and said. Say this say this. Look at the likes you will get for saying this and votes

[AssassinatedBeauty]

I haven't seen this show nor read much about it, but my limited understanding is that there is an expectation that they will have sex with other participants and that this will be shown on the show - is that right?

[Beamur]

Just grim.
Whether it's made up or not it's just perpetuating this hyper sexualised porny image of women to an audience lapping this crap up.

[Flower8919]

Feminism is about choice. If she likes it rough then she is entitled to that and to her opinion. People shouldn’t criticise her. Sex sells and she can probably make a lot of money from her social media following which will have increased a lot with this article

[Moonface123]

I don't watch this pointless toxic drivel, and am surprised that it is still being churned out considering its track record. Damaging and unhealthy.

[Beamur]

@Flower8919

Feminism is about choice. If she likes it rough then she is entitled to that and to her opinion. People shouldn’t criticise her. Sex sells and she can probably make a lot of money from her social media following which will have increased a lot with this article

Feminism is not about choice.
Yes, she's entitled to her own decisions and you're probably right in that she'll make money.
As a feminist I am entitled to comment on how this behaviour and the attitudes it fosters in others is harmful, especially to women.

[AssassinatedBeauty]

"Feminism is about choice". Not a definition I'd agree with - feminism is about liberation for women and girls.

[Flower8919]

@AssassinatedBeauty. They have to match up to make couples and the couple with the most votes at the end wins. They do show them messing about under the duvet but you don’t actually get to see them having sex.

[Datun]

@Flower8919

Feminism is about choice. If she likes it rough then she is entitled to that and to her opinion. People shouldn’t criticise her. Sex sells and she can probably make a lot of money from her social media following which will have increased a lot with this article

Feminism is not about choice. Women can make choices that are detrimental to feminism.

Feminism about liberation from the patriarchy. Agreeing that you should echo the words of degrading and humiliating porn, is not a feminist decision. (If indeed did she ever actually said it).

[Clymene]

@Flower8919

Feminism is about choice. If she likes it rough then she is entitled to that and to her opinion. People shouldn’t criticise her. Sex sells and she can probably make a lot of money from her social media following which will have increased a lot with this article

No, it's not.

I have no idea where I'm posting or if the speshul roolz apply here or not.

[Flower8919]

I am also a feminist. Yes you are entitled to your opinion and I understand that feminism is about liberation of women - so that they have the same choices as men.

I am just pointing out it is perfectly acceptable for her and any other women to like rough sex

[Datun]

@Flower8919

I am also a feminist. Yes you are entitled to your opinion and I understand that feminism is about liberation of women - so that they have the same choices as men.

I am just pointing out it is perfectly acceptable for her and any other women to like rough sex

It's not about whether she likes rough sex.

It's about marketing her as someone who is the living embodiment of a porn film, on mainstream TV.

[Mymapuddlington]

I think it’s disgusting but I also think the pornographic images on social media, music videos and adverts are disgusting.

[Flower8919]

@Datun. I understand your point but if she wants to be marketed like she is a porn star then where is the harm? If it was against her will yes there is an issue. But she has made the photos that they posted available and that was her choice. If you have got it flaunt it and she will probably make a lot of money

[OhDear2200]

@Flower8919

As a feminist do you have any issues about the message this image gives to young girls and boys?

Is it what we want to aspire to?

Do we not have a duty to question the very basis of ‘rough sex’. Each to their own but from my feminism I am curious about the fact that for men’s gratification women need to be harmed. You will probably come back and say that’s what she likes and chooses to do. But I do wonder.

[AssassinatedBeauty]

Is feminism about individuals making lots of money?

[Beamur]

Where is the harm?
It's all around us.

[Datun]

[quote Flower8919]@Datun. I understand your point but if she wants to be marketed like she is a porn star then where is the harm? If it was against her will yes there is an issue. But she has made the photos that they posted available and that was her choice. If you have got it flaunt it and she will probably make a lot of money[/quote]
Objectifying women and then commodifying that objectification is not feminist. It's not just not feminist, it's detrimental to women in general.

Men have got away with murder and multiple rape, by claiming a defence of 'rough sex'.

A mainstream program using the same concepts and terminology in order to entice viewers, is perpetrating the myths around what people believe rough sex constitutes.

[Datun]

I mean, there are currently reams and reams of coverage about girls' first sex experience being painful and degrading. They are routinely being spat at, strangled and humiliated.

You have boys wondering why their girlfriend doesn't cry during sex, because that's what 'girls do'.

And this mainstream TV programme is not just contributing to it, it's leveraging it to gain money.

[Imnobody4]

Flower8919
There's also the question of what is considered 'marketable'. Reducing yourself to a commodity isn't anything to do with feminism for a start. Secondly would declaring you're only into 'vanilla' sex be considered a selling point for this programme. Don't think so.

[Flower8919]

@OhDear2200

I completely agree that young girls and boys should not be brought up to see women as completely sexualised. There should be good education in place in schools to ensure this.

Rough sex shouldn’t involve women being harmed! If so then that is wrong. It involves maybe some spanking or light hair pulling it whatever you fancy that is a bit less vanilla and is pleasurable to the man and woman.