please help me, don't let me do anything

[itisddsbirthdayandiwanttodie]

please help me
I want to die so much
I can't talk to ring up the samaritans because I can only cry
i know this looks like a stupid attention seeking thread but if I move away from the computer i;m scared of what i will do.

You need to call someone. A friend, anyone who could come and be with you. The samaritans won't mind if you cry. If you really are going to harm yourself, call an ambulance.

You can call the samaritans and cry, you don't have to talk. You can call a friend, a relative, you can call an ambulance.

You CAN get through this and come out the other side.

Do you want to talk about it on here?

there's no-one nearby I know well enough.
I'm going to have to get dh to come home from work, aren't I?
I promised I would tell him if I ever felt like this again.

Yes - phone him now please. And tell us when you have done it.

Then don't move away fom the computer

Well done reaching out

You can email the samaritans or you can ring them and just cry. They're quite used ot that.

You need more help than this board if it is that bad though. Someone near you? You really need to go to A&E

Whereabouts are you?

Yes. Phone DH. Also agree with others, the Samaritans won't mind if you cry. They have heard it all before.

Can you tell us what triggered this?

Good, lots of people posting quickly - agree that you MUST phone dh.

Imagine if this was him not telling you he felt like this

It sounds like DH will want to help.

(I'll hold your hand while you wait if you like but might not be able to say things as wisely as others can)

ring dh and the Samaritans - that's what they do- listen to people in great distress

I am so useless at dealing with things.
I am not a long-term depressive, it's as if I chug along perfectly happily most of the time and then something happens and I absolutely cannot deal with it, to the extent that it unlocks a door and suddenly feels of uselessness come out that are quite unassociated with the thing in question but totally overwhelming.
I feel like everyone hates me (or if they don't they should) and I am useless and the world will be a much better place without me and I just cannot, cannot, cannot bear it.

your children and dh won't be better off without you - hang on here and talk it over

Please call DH. Keep talking to us until you can reach him.

Are you still online? Have you called him?

You CAN get through this and you will x

Have you had any counselling? It sounds like you are able to cover things up really well until sometimes the lid fals off. It is an exhausting way to live. Done it for years...

It can change, doesn't have to be like this

I will tell you what triggered it in a minute but it is a bit involved and you will think I am so, so stupid.
thank you so much for talking to me.

I'm sure that none of that is true. Are you having any counselling, or do you have a MH worker you could call?

Your DH sounds very supportive. Have you called him yet?

No one here is going to think you are stupid, keep talking?

it is going to be really hard calling dh because he is probably in the middle of giving a lecture and if he's not in his office I will have to talk to the secretaries.

I'm pretty sure you are the only one feeling stupid and none of us will

No one thinks you're stupid. Keep talking x

Nothing is silly if it is making you feel like this.

Can you text your DH - that way you' dont have to talk to anyone to ask them to get him?

Have you called your DH yet? I'm here for a while you can phone me if you like. Keep on talking to someone, anyone and know that everyone here is ready to talk. You need help in real life though too, so call your DH NOW, he sounds lovely.