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Original poster

Fighting Our Way Back Up - the depression list thread!

840 replies

MathsMadMummy · 30/03/2010 18:08

Thanks to ToccataAndFudge for the name

Right, so this is where those of us with depression can write our lists of daily achievements!

...hopefully tomorrow's list will be better than today's...

OP posts:
LittleMarshmallow · 15/04/2010 10:28

Thanks BBL I am trying to sort my head out today its all fuzzy and I have nothing written down from anyone so I am struggling to remember stuff.

Going to head out to my old work and return my laptop and keys. Then hopefully when I come back I will have the motivation to paint even if it is just the two bathrooms.

toccatanfudge · 15/04/2010 10:31

been up since 6.30.......didn't get to sleep until about 3.30 so bit tired.

Put the dishwasher on this morning, not much in it, but it'll stop BitterandTwisted launching straight into the sink to was the few bits up when she gets here this morning.

Having a big blitz today..........

LittleMarshmallow · 15/04/2010 10:35

TF - That sounds good I am glad Bitter is coming to give you hand. Make sure you have had at least something to eat even if is only something small.

allegrageller · 15/04/2010 12:26

argh Tocc that's noe enough sleep eh. A blitz sounds good. Is Bitter on this thread? She sounds an angel.

LM good morning darling

I didn't get to sleep until 3 am either....and still knackered now!

Got to go shopping with sister for party stuff in Lewisham oh joy...think it is time to write a list.

Tocc- you never told me the right day to come and do the papers sweetheart. I am free all next week, have boys Mon-Weds after that just me....
xxx
xxx

allegrageller · 15/04/2010 12:26

sorry for the double xxx, I am a bit foggy in the head...:D

LittleMarshmallow · 15/04/2010 12:35

Afternoon Alle, What things are off to buy? When do you next get the boys back?

allegrageller · 15/04/2010 12:41

hiya LM, how you doing this morning darling?

Still seething for you over that ghastly hv...

I shall be buying all the stuff for the party and probably spending a fortune! It's a joint one for ds2 who's 3 and my niece aged 1 so total chaos will ensue! Better get some booze etc in for adults too...

boys back on Saturday but I do have my date on Friday to take my mind off brooding over them.

I usually go round to see them at H's house (when he's not in) on Fri afternoons too but he hates that and keeps trying to stop it....

allegrageller · 15/04/2010 12:46

that shoudl have read afternoon- you can see how with-it I am today

LittleMarshmallow · 15/04/2010 12:51

Alle - I am ok, got dressed and took my laptop and keys back to work, have had something to eat.

I haven't spoken directly to the hv yet (she might be a little worried what i might say) and the cpn hasnt called me back yet. I still feel rubbish but have managed to get a counselling appointment tomorrow afternoon at uni so am hoping that will help.

I am going to try and do some painting but the joiner is here working on the snagging list so havent got any peace and quiet. Normally I would go and have a bath but I am not allowed that or a shower for about a week till my stitches heal.

Shopping sounds fun, ds's birthday is in June and I can't wait am hoping to get him a trampoline (just so I can have a go!)

Original poster
MathsMadMummy · 15/04/2010 14:39

Hi all, the DCs are asleep have just caught up on the copious posts from yesterday!

Wow LM. I'm livid on your behalf. Don't know why people can't understand it's not attention SHers are looking for. When you get told stuff like that it makes you want to do it more sometimes, it's like you feel you have to prove yourself - I've been there.

Allegra I'm more than willing to help out with any interviewing etc. Don't know what I can add, as an adult I haven't had especially bad treatment. The only thing was, when PG the 1st time, I was forced into an interview with a SW in case I got PND - and yet with 2nd PG, there was no such measure - one of the many postcode lotteries I suppose?!

Anyway, if I can help at all I'd be happy to. I have many opinions on the subject. Have you (or anyone else) read this book? I started to but didn't have time. Must catch up on it.

Finally IMPORTANT
Can we please post our initials/FB photo descriptions here again? I am so confused who I have on my list and who I don't. Arrgggh.
I'm DB and my photo is of me, DH, blonde DD hugging me and baby DS.

OP posts:
LittleMarshmallow · 15/04/2010 14:43

I might have confused you MMM as I have changed my fb picture so I am EP with a pic of me and ds and mickey and minnie mouse.

Buttons2708 · 15/04/2010 15:36

I made it out the house to Tesco with all 4 dc and didn't scream at them or have to call dp to come and rescue me.

I'm also in the process of doing dinner!

And I smiled today!!!!!

Original poster
MathsMadMummy · 15/04/2010 16:22

that's great Buttons I hardly set foot in a supermarket anymore! (thank goodness for the internet!)

I've not done much, still ill but DH is on way home now and I may try to persuade him that a shopping trip is in order. Have just started a thread here which has inspired me to maybe get over my bizarre anxiety and treat myself to some clothes.

OP posts:
seashore · 15/04/2010 17:08

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

BeckyBendyLegs · 15/04/2010 17:20

I'm RC with picture of DS1 and DS2 at the seaside!

I went supermarket shopping with all three this afternoon and it was just too blaaaa. Now I know why we do internet shopping instead.

LittleMarshmallow · 15/04/2010 18:47

I had a good afternoon in the end, finished painting one room and went for a walk which cheered me up a little.

Had to deal with the cpn woman who called today, I am apparently not getting a new cpn because I changed gp already this year this would be after the other gp told me I wasting everyone's time.

Their bright idea is to have both the cpn and hv come out and do joint sessions (whatever that is) and I pointed out that I feel threatened by this as it is 2 verus 1. The cpn kept saying well we think this is for the best so I told her that since it is my house I can choose who comes in or not.

I then told her that the hv has lost my trust and I don't trust the cpn so how they expect to work with me I am a little unsure. The cpn then turns round and tries to blame the lack of care on me by stating that I am going for counselling at the hospice so she doesn't know what to do with me!!!!!!! This is the same woman who told me to go to uni for counselling and when my sh on my arm was infected told me to seek first aid at uni or ask a work first aider to check. ffs.

So we are back to square one but I have told them that they are not to come together until I have someone with me in the house and the earliest my friends can take time off in June as they have a holiday ban at work.

So back to ss according to the cpn the hv never said she was taking ds away or that I would never see him again but only told me that she was worried about me. Err right then. The cpn then drops into the conversation that they were planning to come see me next Friday, ok so I was suicidal on Tuesday and you are going to wait 1.5 weeks to check on me and I told her she couldn't come then as I was busy. She got all huffy with me even when I pointed out it was h's birthday and I am going to take ds to see mil.

I told the cpn I would discuss how best to manage my own care with the counsellor who I trust and who wont betray me on Tuesday and I will let her know what we decide on.

allegrageller · 15/04/2010 21:29

god I can't believe their blatant lying love

mind you, one thing to take from this- you know now that they were talking bollocks and don't have a chance of taking ds off you or whatever crap they were threatening you with. And if they ever say it again just laugh at them.

I would say make a note of all the threats made, times, dates etc, for a future complaint and/or if they start dishing out the same rubbish again.

Why on earth you'd want them both in your house at once after that I can't imagine! They are bonkers.

Glad the painting is going on apace.

zonedout · 15/04/2010 22:05

seashore thanks for looking out for me [happy]

i have been reading but just can't seem to keep up with everything and everyone despite desperately wanting to offer support to those in need so have backed away as feel such a useless threadmate.

i am sure i was once a semi-intelligent individual but now, by the time i have read through all the posts i have completely forgotten what i wanted to respond

LittleMarshmallow · 15/04/2010 22:06

Thanks Alle, yeah it still worries me about ds as h scared me with that before and it is a big issue with me and my head.

When I finish the painting I shall put some pics on fb. Speaking of did you get your photo up?

allegrageller · 15/04/2010 22:45

nope it won't upload from my phone! It's a v cool one- ds1's stegosaurus mask no less :D

I'm going to need to find the cable that connects the phone to the computer, god knows where that is (moved house 27 Feb and still not organised)

hi zonedout!

xx

Buttons2708 · 16/04/2010 08:07

Thanks to you mathsmadmummy today's list is to go through wardrobe and have a good clear out! I'm thinking this will do my head, as well as my self esteem the world of good. Whenever I look into my wardrobe I just see stuff I cant wear and that just puts a downer on the day. I'll update once I'm done!!!!

LittleMarshmallow · 16/04/2010 08:36

Morning all, I woke up feeling ok, mainly down I think to decent sleeping tablets but that is good. I am going to do some stuff around the house today and try and finish painting the other bathroom. I have my counselling app at 4 so I am hoping that will help.

willsurvivethis · 16/04/2010 08:50

My list for today involved getting through the day at work on next to no sleep - I am very restless, had a tough counselling session yesterday and my little ds is into 3am rave parties atm - squealing and bouncing on the bed then crying for me once he almost falls out (due to his cerebral palsy he doesn't have full mobility so he gets a bit stuck sometimes!)

BeckyBendyLegs · 16/04/2010 08:55

My goal today is to watch last night's prime minsiterial debate without DSs getting too fed up! DS3 is enjoying it and keeps smiling at Nick Clegg!

Having a good clear out is wonderfully theraputic. I'm selling a load of maternity stuff on ebay at the moment and it feels great to get rid and make a few pennies too (not huge amounts but better than nothing).

BeckyBendyLegs · 16/04/2010 08:57

Sleep seems to be a constant issue with all of us. It's been my main obsession since my PND was first diagnosed. If only we could get enough sleep... I find that even if I do sleep really well I still feel tired in the day time.