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Original poster

Fighting Our Way Back Up - the depression list thread!

840 replies

MathsMadMummy · 30/03/2010 18:08

Thanks to ToccataAndFudge for the name

Right, so this is where those of us with depression can write our lists of daily achievements!

...hopefully tomorrow's list will be better than today's...

OP posts:
LittleMarshmallow · 16/04/2010 09:05

I know what you mean BBL if I sleep badly and have to deal with ds it makes a million times harder to focus and deal with his constant why questions.

I am sit sat on the sofa but have had a cup of tea and might try and eat breakfast for a change.

toccatanfudge · 16/04/2010 09:10

morning everyone.

Had a lovely lovely afternoon yesterday with BitterandTwistedChoreDodger (there's a thread in chat dedicated to her to say thankyou). We got 95% of the house sorted out I'm now feeling more positive about that.

In fact I slept in bed last night (didn't sleep very well was quite restless - but it was at least in my bed, in my PJ's instead of in the clothes I'd been wearing on the sofa under a blanket), and this morning got up, made my bed, emptied the dishwasher and put a load of washing on (even though she took all my washing away on Wednesday for me there's still more to do - some we found yesterday and some that just seems to appear when you have children).

Still got a little bit to do today, but it feels managable now, I know where to start because there's not much to do, whereas yesterday morning there was so much I couldn't even begin to start as I didn't know how.

At least it's one thing that's affecting me out of the way, think I need to try and break down all of the issues and try and deal with them one at at time.........wish it was easy as it sounds though.

Despite feeling 100x better now, I still feel really low though, I can barely remember the start of this week so I must have been bloody awful then

LittleMarshmallow · 16/04/2010 09:18

Morning TF well done for sleeping in your own bed last night .

Buttons2708 · 16/04/2010 09:30

To tocatanfudge, I think it's fabulous you made it to your bed last night, it's a big thing when your that low. My mile stone was to get the light switched off too! I'd love for someone to come here and help me sort my house out, I again feel like I'm drowning in it sometimes but agree that once it starts to clear you do feel so much better. I also think it's great that your week will end on so much more of a high than the beginning of the week and that you've done so much already today. I hope this comes across in a supportive way as it is meant to be .

allegrageller · 16/04/2010 12:35

so glad you're feeling that little bit better Tocc...I know what you mean about the mysterious piles of washing...I find them everywhere!! It's like I can simply never finish it!!

LittleMarshmallow · 16/04/2010 12:39

What we need is a washing fairy I think and if possible an ironing fairy too.

allegrageller · 16/04/2010 13:07

I get round the ironing by not doing any!! hehe

toccatanfudge · 16/04/2010 13:23

I need to iron later today, all my lovely clean clothes (still waiting for the rest of it to arrive as apparently b&TCD's washing machine leaked all over her kitchen this morning) and put them away.

Still in my PJ's and dressing gown (although DS's are dressed, and I made the lunch..........figured seeing as though I've been spending several days in a row wearing the exact same clothes, witout showering (even sleeping in them), and then only changing my clothes when I finally drag myself into the shower........only to repeat the process - urghh - that most of the day in my clean on last night PJ's really isn't going to hurt.

toccatanfudge · 16/04/2010 14:28

right - DS's are watching Daddy Day Care (courtesy of a £3 outlay by me and Virgin on demand).

I have got 1 load of washing hanging up around the house..........I really must get my washing line from exH's at some point soon especially now the weather is nicer, and I've put DS1's duvet in the machine now - it's a bit, ermm smelly as he wets the bed, but gets too hot with a duvet protector on as well.

I am now dressed, thinking I could maybe start doing the ironing that's already here so there's less to do when the rest of it gets here.

Actually what I'd really like to do is curl up on the sofa

willsurvivethis · 16/04/2010 14:30

Right, lovely, fullscale breakdown in front of (lovely) administrator while on phone to IT dept. Unable to stop crying for over 10 minutes

Pressure of work mounting and mounting, fax machine at Home Office not picking up a document that i've been drafting and thatMUSTget there. Mobile phone trouble, then remote access to database failing and unable to print anything. So lost it. Experienced team leader - nice

Anyhoo been out for lunch with everyone else and cheered up a bit but feel I'm teetering dangerously.

toccatanfudge · 16/04/2010 14:32

oh dear willsurvive .

Glad you've cheered up a bit now though.........things can onyl get better hey after that [smeil]

toccatanfudge · 16/04/2010 14:32

oops not a badly spelled smell

BeckyBendyLegs · 16/04/2010 15:59

Willsurvive

TC glad you've managed to get a few things cleared and done in your house (and your mind hopefully too).

I'm really fed up of our DC1 (dear cat 1) as she has decided to use the bathroom as her toilet. She's even now learnt how to open the door to get in there. We've been out all morning and I get back to find the door open and a great big sloppy poo and a wee on the carpet in the corner. I can't cope with her doing this every day and she's been doing this since it snowed in January. DH thinks we should just put a litter tray in there (which we did after it first started happening but the smell is so awful so I took it away again hoping now the weather is better she'd improve) and he says it's because she's old but I've seen her outside so I know she can go outside. It's war at the moment between me and that cat!

Buttons2708 · 16/04/2010 19:37

Well I started the day happy and full of hope that's turned into whats the effing point. I tried to have a bath for just 10 min early when dp came in but he just moaned and kids all came in at some point i was only in there 7min in the end like i say POINTLESS.

LittleMarshmallow · 16/04/2010 20:00

Buttons I am sorry that doesnt sound like much fun.

WillSurvive I hope your day got a little bit better.

I am back from counselling and it was ok. She is going to write to my gp to discuss why they are with holding medication and why I am having to get sleep tablets from boots and not them. I can hope that it helps. She also agreed with me that both the cpn and hv should not be out at the same time as I feel threatened.

Neither has called today so its Friday and I last spoke to the hv on Tuesday and as yet have no confirmation from her that I "misunderstood" what she said.

seashore · 16/04/2010 20:05

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

LittleMarshmallow · 16/04/2010 20:10
toccatanfudge · 16/04/2010 20:36

what a result tonight (credit mostly must go to B&TCD for doing all that washing for me and helping me clean the house etc).......my DS's are all bathed, in clean and PJ's and have clean sheets on their beds

Not quite the top of the world like I would be "normally" but it's a start I suppose. Feeling a bit low in general this evening which is actually sort of annoying as I've done quite a bit of housework today.

willsurvivethis · 16/04/2010 20:53

TnF I think it is normal, if frustrating, to feel a bit low after a good day if you've been low overall. You've spent a lot of energy and after you've had a bit of a positive buzz you feel it more.

Just look round your much improved house and make yourself something nice to drink and put your feet up x

zonedout · 16/04/2010 21:45

seashore, you are lovely

so (d)h is stuck in chicago becuase of the volcanic ash. facing yet another weekend alone with 2 small boys. oh well, save the arguments at least

claireinthecommunity · 16/04/2010 22:03

Hello everyone

I've had a positive couple of days, washing on the line yesterday and today, dusted throughout, cooking, washing up in the evening and getting publicity material ready for a trade fayre DH and I have on Sunday.

I've almost reached the end of week four on AD reduction, and things seem to be going well

toccatanfudge · 17/04/2010 01:06

that's probably true actually willsurvive.

Have just put the dishwasher on, so everything still looking good here housework wise .

Had a bit of wobble earlier, thread that I thought i'd hidden last night, someone posted on it again tonight - directed towards me re my depression apparently having "gone" since I got the help and was given something (FFS I only asked Bitter if she could pick some nappies up on the way over to mine!) seems we girls aren't allowed to have good days

However, happened tobe chatting on FB to another MN friend of mine at the time and she managed to prop me up and keep me upright.

Need to go to town tomorrow, it'll be the first time I've left the house properly since we went to London last week.

Went to church on Sunday morning, the shop the other morning (10 doors down) and the shop again today.......tomorrow is town.....need to buy a scart lead, new school shoes for the DS's (will go to Shoe Zone) and something else which I have totally forgotten at the moment but I know there were 3 things......oh yes - get their haircut.

Buttons2708 · 17/04/2010 07:52

Ok had an absolutely crap day yesterday and dp swore at me in bed last night he's left for work and I didn't even say goodbye. I just couldn't do it and pretend everything is ok when it's not. However have read all post's from yesterday and I know that I need to get dressed today, I need to get the kids breakfast (ds just spat his all over me him the floor and his high chair). I'm thinking my task's for today is to clear washing (hardly any left) maybe wash kids sheets (only did a few days ago), clear out wardrobe, put 6 sacks of dd's clothes on ebay as in desperate need of extra finances and perhaps take kids to feed the ducks and get an ice cream this afternoon. Food shopping being delivered so I don't need to worry about taking them all to the supermarket. I hope everyone has a good day and will catch up in a few hours to see how everyone is doing .

BeckyBendyLegs · 17/04/2010 08:29

Morning all,

Zonedout I hope your DH can get back soon. It's not easy coping on your own, I struggled just for two days last weekend on holiday with two of the DSs without dH.

I've woken up in a good mood. I hope I'm not too 'chirpy' for everyone but I really feel like I am getting much better thanks to vitimin B and omega oils I've been taking for a month now. I feel a different person to how I felt a month ago. Tell me to go away if I am too chirpy please. I don't want to be annoying...

LM a washing fairy and ironing fairy is a brilliant idea. DH thinks we have those already, and a tidy fairy, a putting random cups in dishwasher fairy, I could go on...

toccatanfudge · 17/04/2010 08:41

Becky - absolutely nothing wrong with being "chirpy" (contrary to opinions on other parts of this website where apparently you're not allowed to have good days, or even get a little bit better without still being close to "normal") .

After the last 2 days high I've woken up really prett urghh and DS1 being in a foul and argumentative mood isn't helping.