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Original poster

Fighting Our Way Back Up - the depression list thread!

840 replies

MathsMadMummy · 30/03/2010 18:08

Thanks to ToccataAndFudge for the name

Right, so this is where those of us with depression can write our lists of daily achievements!

...hopefully tomorrow's list will be better than today's...

OP posts:
ByThePowerOfGreyskull · 31/03/2010 19:11

evening all can I join you.
I used to enjoy posting on the fly thread until my life collapsed and now I don't have enough achievements to feel I can justify loitering there (even though they are fab ladies)

so today
have had a bath with DS2 washed my hair for the first time in a week
been and bought some easter eggs for the weekend
picked up DS2 from school
made macaroni cheese & fed the boys
faffed on the computer designing an invitation for DS2's birthday (have added to profile - feel proud of it )
need to do lots but just can't - DH is great and is once again dooing bath and bed for the boys.

JollyPirate · 31/03/2010 19:14

Today I have cleaned the kitchen, cooked DS and myself a meal and cleaned out the hamster cage.

countrylover · 31/03/2010 19:34

thanks to everyone for your support about tomorrow - my meeting is at 11am and my mum, DH and a friend have all separately offered to come with me and literally deliver me to the door of the office. but i feel i've just got to do it on my own.

if i can't do it on my own tomorrow then how am i going to do it three days a week as from next week?

i'm feeling quite strong at the moment so i really hope it carries through until the morning.

i'm still really really shitting it though. i'm not sure which is more scary, the thought of the journey or actually sitting in a meeting. it helped today that a friend who doesn't have pnd said that she was already having sleepless nights about returning to work after a year off. it made me feel as if me freaking out is a bit more 'normal'.

will update you tomorrow when hopefully, fingers crossed i will have got there and back without turning into a quivering mess.

LittleMarshmallow · 31/03/2010 19:45

I am back from the doctors, made it there and took ds to nursery, have more medication and am off work for another week.

hv took me food shopping to tescos and then for coffee to work out how to make it through the next 7 days as everyone is off for easter.

i have made ds's tea and sat in the kitchen while he ate it so an achievement in itself.

BeckyBendyLegs · 31/03/2010 19:55

Hi everyone! I went to DS1's Easter service today and it was lovely to see him (can't remember who posted about parents not going but that brought tears to my eyes and is so true: it is totally worth the effort). DS2 and DS3 were well behaved during the service too, which was nice because it stresses me out when people are staring at me if they are misbehaving / crying.

CountryLover good luck tomorrow! I start work 1 May. I'm hoping work will help me get better so I hope it helps you too

Jammyrella · 31/03/2010 20:14

Good luck countrylover, though I'm sure you don't need it. And I would guess it's pretty normal to be worried about returning to work after a year off. But I also guess/hope that your employers will realise it's a big change, and will try to make it a bit easier for you, if only by being nice and very welcoming for the first few days. And as well as you obviously being really nice and super fab at your job, I've been on some training things at work last week where they said that it costs about 3 times the person's salary to recruit a new worker if someone leaves, so it is really in their interest to welcome you back and make you want to stay.

And well done to Marshmallow and everyone else too. And for myself? Well I was at work this morning and I took DD to soft play this afternoon. Met a couple of friends there, and a couple of their friends who I didn't know. Afriad I didn't have the nerve to really get to know them , but threw myself into playing with DD. So not really much done but we had lots of fun. And now I have to try to try to resist wasting the whole evening doing nothing...

memoo · 31/03/2010 21:26

Countrylover, one of my very oldest friends has suffered with PND/anxiety.

When she had her youngest child 3 years ago she was really bad and was terrified of going back to work, but it has been the making of her!

The transformation has been amazing, its like it has given her a new lease of life.

You will be fine tomorrow, and we won't a full update when you get back! Remember you have mumsnet behind you!

Original poster
MathsMadMummy · 01/04/2010 08:43

I'm happy today, just remembered DH is only working this morning, and is then off til tues! normally he only gets sunday off. we may even go out to somewhere other than town

greyskull those cakes (and the invite) are amazing!

I made progress yesterday, I was totally honest with people (in RL) about my falling idiotically down the stairs - I've always found it incredibly difficult to laugh at myself so would make something up (about being ill or whatever) but not this time. go me!!! still hurts though. hmmph.

OP posts:
memoo · 01/04/2010 09:40

Just a quick one as the DC are now off school and my changes of gettting anywhere near the computer for the rest of the day are slim!

Oh MMM so sorry you fell down the stairs, but it is good to actually be able to laugh at yourself a bit isn't it! thats a real positive.

I'm having a good morning so far. DH got up with baby so I got up and had a shower and got got dressed! Kind of like having the kids of school, they are a distraction!

weegiemum · 01/04/2010 09:43

I have therapy today - in fact, I have therapy in half an hour.

I really don't know if I can go - I feel liek crap warmed up.

Talk me into it if you are here. Please. I need to see my therapist but the trip to the centre, even by taxi, is just a bit too much today!

weegiemum · 01/04/2010 09:44

I'm still in jammies, unwashed etc adn need to leave in 15 mins if I am going!

weegiemum · 01/04/2010 09:55

I called and cancelled.

crap.

LittleMarshmallow · 01/04/2010 10:20

Im sorry weegiemum, is there anyway you could re-arrange your app? or have a phone conversation with your therapist?

Original poster
MathsMadMummy · 01/04/2010 10:43

oh weegiemum sorry you feel rubbish. I second the phone idea - I had a few phonecalls with my therapist when I saw one.

memoo, I know what you mean, if we have my DH's DDs over, it's hard work keeping them entertained but it's good company and they return the favour by playing with my DCs!

OP posts:
ToccataAndFudge · 01/04/2010 10:47

have done absolutely nothing this morning also - apart from have a spat with DS1

memoo · 01/04/2010 10:49

aw weegie, please don't feel bad about. We have to pick the battles we can win and if getting to the session was going to cause you so much aniexty then it may have done more harm than good.

I think the phone idea is really good.

I have cancelled 3 appointments in a row at the hospital (nothing to do with my PND/Anxiety) I nearly managed to make myself go last time but at the last minute I couldn't.

When you rearrange your next appointment let us know when it is so we can be around for you if you need a pep talk to get out of the house

weegiemum · 01/04/2010 10:50

Have rescheduled.

allegrageller · 01/04/2010 11:03

morning all

feeling particularly shite today. it's my last day of teaching at my job which I love, I'm having 6 months 'off' to finish my book, spend more time with the kids and fight my divorce case...but I'm so sad about it, have great friends here and will miss them all so much and the sense of camaraderie...

also dumped boyfriend last night, I'm just not ready for a relationship right now, he knows it too but I feel so terrible for hurting him

I need friends right now. (hint hint who wants to put me on FB? I'm on there on the mn fan page, black hair and red cardi if that helps at all?!)

Anyway, my list:

forced self out of bed at 10 to 8 for 9 am tutorial!
(2 students out of 20 turned up for said tutorial )
gave semi-private tutorial in office!
arranged doctor's appointment re. medication etc
emailed and Fb'd old friends
apologised to ex over phone for snapping yesterday
errrr, went on MN and wrote list...

Not bad for a suicidal bint with chronic depression and PMDD eh? I haven't got my kids with me atm and I dread the evenings alone got to think of something positive to do this evening (write book?! lmao)

good luck today everyone. Fight the good fight!

LittleMarshmallow · 01/04/2010 11:10

Morning all,

so far this morning I have managed to get ds up and dressed but we missed his morning nursery run.
have given him breakfast and a snack
put load of laundry on
put dishwasher on

thats it am still sat in my pjs but need to get dressed soon if ds is to make his afternoon nursery.

allegrageller - if you want to add me to fb i am on the mn fan page have a blue tshirt on running in a race type photo.

allegrageller · 01/04/2010 11:10

will seek you out LM

Original poster
MathsMadMummy · 01/04/2010 11:19
OP posts:
weegiemum · 01/04/2010 11:21

You can seek me out on FB too if you like.

I am the rock with interesting lichen on it

Do say you are from MN though or I WON'T REPLY!

ToccataAndFudge · 01/04/2010 11:22

I'm on there tooo if you want to add me.

Picture as per my profile pictures on here, initials GM

allegrageller · 01/04/2010 11:22

blimey there are soooo many people on there, it's going to take a while to find you two!

ooh weegie i would love to see what a geog teacher emoticon looks like

weegiemum · 01/04/2010 11:22

What I have to do:

Dress
Dishes
Load of washing

Pack cases for me, dcs for going on holiday tomorrow.

Tidy for cleaner coming while we are away.

Sleep for a wee bit if I can.

Kids are well warned it is "tidying and packing" after school, not "playing"!!

Child labour is such a good thing!