Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Mental health

Mumsnet hasn't checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you have medical concerns, please seek medical attention.

Original poster

Fighting Our Way Back Up - the depression list thread!

840 replies

MathsMadMummy · 30/03/2010 18:08

Thanks to ToccataAndFudge for the name

Right, so this is where those of us with depression can write our lists of daily achievements!

...hopefully tomorrow's list will be better than today's...

OP posts:
memoo · 02/04/2010 17:25

Having a crappy day and have done nothing, although DH is here so don't really have to. feel really down

oasisofcalm, I can't find you on facebook! if you email me and tell me your name I can add you to the group [email protected]

And welcome, sorry you're having such a crap time.

Toccata, my mouth is watering at the thought of hotcross buns!!!

ToccataAndFudge · 02/04/2010 17:26

just discovered I HAVE to go out to Morrisons (yes now) as I only have 2 nappies left.

Think I may cop out and buy dinner at the cafe..........

LittleMarshmallow · 02/04/2010 19:21

I am back picked ds up from sil and managed to bath him and read him a story, feeling better rubbish tbh but at least I have had some good parts of the day.

nemo can I email you too to get added to the fb book?

willsurvivethis · 02/04/2010 20:10

Hi guys sorry for the gatecrash. Guess just want to say thank you because you're helping me see what life is like for my poor dh. He's really struggling with depression atm and your thread made me see how much he's still doing and what a fight it must be. He's a church minister, it's easter, go figure. He's just gone out to do his regular Friday night street kids work but he's in no state really

Problem is I've got PTSD and having a lapse right now so anxious, panicky, stressed and needing support too. It's hard to be there for each other.

Sorry don't know why I'm typing this. Because you guys will understand I guess. I'm crying my eyes out right now.

ToccataAndFudge · 02/04/2010 20:13

oh willsurvivethis

ToccataAndFudge · 02/04/2010 20:15

willsurvive - don't know if you're CoE or what, but is he getting any support from the diocese/someone from with the church leadership?

I know when our vicar was really ill with depression she got fantastic support

LittleMarshmallow · 02/04/2010 20:18

willsurvivethis I am sorry to hear about both you and your dh.

willsurvivethis · 02/04/2010 20:26

Tocatta we are CoE DH is a curate and the relationship with his senior vicar is strained as a result of senior vicar not understanding depression (although trying) and without saying it thinking DH is not pulling his weight and being very critical of small things which make DH more depressed and more and more convinced he's no good as a minister.

He has a very good counsellor who is a very experienced vicar's wife and a good mentor in another parish who he's supposed to be contacting for a meeting. But he's just about managing one step in front of the other and throwing a lot of energy in being a good and happy dad for ds (which he does really well). Just wish I could help him more.

ToccataAndFudge · 02/04/2010 20:35

He should be getting some support from higher up the chain, especially if his immidiate senior isn't reall "getting it".

Can't remember for the life of me who it was that the diocese gave to our vicar to support her (she was really ill - 3 months in hospital, although they also discovered that she wasn't getting enough oxygen to her brain so part of it was trying to sort that out.........they never did -she's still on oxygen frequently now).

But when she came back it was initially part time (and we hae no curate or such like)

Part of her problems were also escalated by the fact that she didn't get the support she needed (as no-one within the church realised) prior to becoming so ill.

There must be someone further up the chain (so to speak) who he can talk to

memoo · 02/04/2010 20:46

Willsurvive, So sorry you're having such a bad time. I don't know know what to add to what toccata has said, and am struggling myself too today so its hard to concentrate my brain.

I'm really not sure how it works but can your DH take some time off? sick leave?

We are part of our local catholic church and I think our Priest and our Deacon have mentors [not sure if that is the right term] but they can turn to them for support and guidance. Does your DH have someone simiar that he can talk to?

ToccataAndFudge · 02/04/2010 20:48

ok - just an update from me.

Took the DS's to morrisons to buy nappies (as I only had 2 left), had dinner at the cafe , bought them a small easter egg each as well.

Came home, all 3 DS's in bed now, just thinking I ought to really go and load the dishwasher up and put it on for a quick wash..........I'm all out of mug and teaspoons

Haven't got any further with the washing

willsurvivethis · 02/04/2010 21:07

Thanks all for your support. Yes if needed DH can take sick leave - my concern is that he has a tendency to run away from things and I am not sure being off sick will be a solution. But of course I had six months off as I was too ill to work so I have said if he and his counsellor think it's better for him to have time off I will support that.

Thanks again - will leave you to get on with your brave battle. Depression sucks - it really does.

ToccataAndFudge · 02/04/2010 21:14

willsurvive - you don't need to leave us

you know your post on my other thread on Tuesday night really helped me. Someone that understood where I was coming from with the church stuff

ToccataAndFudge · 02/04/2010 23:11

ok - it took me nearly 2hrs to find the motivation and the oomph to do it.

But have just loaded the dishwasher and put it on
Hung up some clothes to dry (been sat in there since yesterday - rescued in the nick of time)
Put a load of washing on (ok it's the same load that's been done about 3 times this week alread, but kept being left so kept getting pongy - but it's on again)

memoo · 02/04/2010 23:29

Well i have achieve nothing today, have posted on my other thread because don't have any achievemnts to list on here unless wallowing in self pity counts

ToccataAndFudge · 02/04/2010 23:31

you didn't eat, you did't get dressed, you didn't look after your DC??

Bet you've done SOMETHING today

Original poster
MathsMadMummy · 03/04/2010 13:56

Aaargh finding this FB thing so confusing. Only had internet for a month! Am trying to find all you guys...

Apart from that, not done much at all today, but DH insisted I have a lie-in, bless him.

Tonight we start controlled crying with DS - lack of sleep is probably a big factor in the way I'm feeling.

DD is asleep and I'm taking the kids to town to meet DH when she wakes up. Taking both kids on the bus makes me nervous

OP posts:
ToccataAndFudge · 03/04/2010 15:09

I've just come back from town - did a big shop, topped up on squash, fruit, etc etc and a load of easy "throw in the oven" type meals as well.

Just having a quick hot cross bun before I unpack it all urghhh - the trolley was full to the brim!

LittleMarshmallow · 03/04/2010 15:50

Well done Toccata

I am sitting in my pjs exhausted after ds to the shops and then tescos. But I did manage to sleep in my own bed for the first in weeks so baby steps.

ToccataAndFudge · 03/04/2010 15:56

oh I can relate to the bed thing.

Think I've slept in (a) my bed 3 - maybe 4 times since I moved a month ago.

Have put most of the stuff away now, and given the fridge a wipe down inside, it's still not great, but it's better than it was.

LittleMarshmallow · 03/04/2010 16:14

I am pretty much done for the day, I put dinner in the slow cooker this morning so am all done.

I have been sleeping on the livingroom for weeks no idea why just feels safer

Original poster
MathsMadMummy · 03/04/2010 16:22

I can relate to the bed thing too, thankfully I don't have that problem now though. Numerous reasons, all worked through in CBT

I also had to train myself out of only sleeping with a DVD on, that went on for years. Just panicked if there was silence! Don't know how DH put up with it, he's a light sleeper. Had a one night relapse recently and ended up on the sofa-bed with sport relief on all night?!

OP posts:
LittleMarshmallow · 03/04/2010 16:23

Yeah I sleep with dvds on, its the only way I can at the moment block out the rubbish in my head.

How did your trip to town go MMM?

Original poster
MathsMadMummy · 04/04/2010 08:08

it didn't!
DD slept until DH got back. never mind. my parents are visiting today so we might all go out for lunch

sleep training went ok, DS only took 85 mins to drop off... then woke up 45 mins later but grizzled/dozed til 5am. have to take him up for a nap now.

but despite being very tired I've done breakfast/got DD dressed so DH could have a well-earned lie-in!

hope everyone has a good easter

OP posts:
LittleMarshmallow · 04/04/2010 09:08

Happy Easter MMM and everyone else.