Anyone else struggling with anxiety?

[mooseloose]

I've been off work nearly three months now and am just really fed up with myself now. i've refused any meds but I just cant get over it. I started my counselling last week, and am hopeful she can sort me out. it was caused by by son having an accident, and juggling work etc which just got too much and made me cry.
Id had a lot of panic attacks but they are getting better but now I just feel worried when i go out, and that i want to cry.
Today I just can't breathe. I don't know if i'm worse today because i'm due on too.
I just really feel i've lost my way and lost confidence in myself, and i dont know what to do to get myself back.
I'm all crabby and wound up with people too - no patience.
I think the doctor is fed up with me too and i'm also worried she won't keep giving me sick notes, i'm never usually ill.......

I drove into work, and my friend met me to walk in with her. Instead of walking through my open plan office, the plan was to walk through the next floor up.
But I cried and couldnt breathe as soon as I parked the car! Struggled to walk in, then up stairs, then walk across, and then walk IN! Took me over twenty mins to get in. Sat down and logged on, deleted full email inbox, logged off, quick chat with manager, wondered how on earth I would get out, and then did walk out!
It was just awful I was in such a state, and I didnt expect it to be that bad. I stayed the hour so thats good, and I am in again on Thurs for two hours. But I feel really stupid i was in such a state, although only my friend saw how bad i was. So i still dont feel like I achieved much.
Miserable isn't it .

But you went in, you sat at your desk, sorted some things out and managed to stay the full hour. You did achieve something moose. Maybe tomorrow you can look back and gain some confidence for Thurs because you got through it. I bet you feel knackared now?

well done Moose, you did it! you went and that is all that matters.
You have made such a huge leap today.
Thursday isnt going to be the same, you have crossed the threashold now, you have made the hardest move.

{{{{hugs}}}}}

thanks for your lovely emails. Am sat here really fed up. Feel tearful, ridiculous, tired, cross and unhappy.

Nice bath and bed moose? Look after yourself xx

Thanks Blissa, hope your check up is ok tomorrow. Will be thinking of you. xx

Hi moose how are you feeling about things today.
Hope you are less teary - you really did achieve alot.
Blissa - hope your check goes well today.
to morningsun, Candy & YommyMommy

to bythepower~how are you?
moose hope you woke feeling happier.
blissa hope your inr is in therapeutic range today!

Morning Girls,

How are you all??? I am having a crap morning! Took my ds to nursery school this morning and he was hystrical when I went to leave! Argh! Stupidly I got upset infront of him and was in floods of tears when I walked away! Nightmare! My chest feels like its got a ton weight on it and feel like I am going to throw up! I am going to pick him up early, nursery teacher just called to say he was totally fine after about half an hour and was quite happy now!

Moose - what happened at work yesterday??? Hope you are okay!

Hope you all have a good day x x x

Sorry Moose, never read page 25 :D Will have a read! x x x

Moose,

Well done on making it through the hour yesterday! I agree with all the girls! You done so well yesterday and thats the hardest part over, will only get easier from now on! - Keep teeling yourself that!

Blissa, how did your appointment go???

x x x

Hello girls. Am feeling happier now. Ready for the storm again tomorrow! Slept like a log too.
Seems a mile away at the moment.

Blissa hope your appointment ok.

Yommy, don't stress bout ds, he will get used to it and settle. They all do! How old is he? try to enjoy your peace (or are you at work when he is there?)

hope you all okay and in that sunshine while it is here!

so proud of you moose!!!!!!!!!!!!
you did it
it wont be like that again im sure of it
glad you slept well too

im having a good day today no anxiety yet today i took ds to toddler group and then dh took him home and i went swimming
done 20 lengths and was knackered ,was nice to have a bit of 'me' time
hi to yommy ,morning,blissa and grey

Blimey candy - 20 lenghts! That was good. Swimming will give you long lean muscles (apparently!)

hope you will be ok at work today moose
i cant imagine myself being in a posistion where i had to go to work ,i feel like my life is on hold until i get over this anxiety that is dogging my life.
my ibs bad last night and this morning so hungry but when i eat it makes it worse feeling very sorry for myself today

Poor you candy!
Do you have a diet to follow?

Hi all

Hope today goes well moose xx

Sorry that you're not feeling too good today candy.

Haven't had the results from my test yet, I will walk up later to pick them up. I haven't had a phone call so that means there is no drastic change. Thankyou all for thinking of me yesterday . I went to bed early last night, I felt absolutely worn out, must be all this fresh air!

I hope your nursery drop off went better this morning yommy. My ds has been given an extra morning session which I'm pleased about, he really needs it.

How are you today morningsun?

I'm ok thanks blissa.My dd's got a blood test today too ~but shes going alone from the sec school to the docs as she likes her independence!

Oh bless her she's brave!I sat with butterflies in my stomach before I went it- I always think I'm going to bleed really badly. Then once it was done I had this wave of fuzziness wash over me!

I really should get some house work done, I've not really done much this week and my house is a tip.

Yes I asked her to get a snack on the way down in case she feels a bit off~I have to let her do it alone or she gets quite stroppy!
Also need to work~am going to set time for housework and paperwork and do a list I think!

I must hoover and do some ironing. I'm also going to attempt to make a pie for tea so thought it would make life easier if I make the filling this morning.

Sounds nice ~ what will you put in the pie,chicken or minced beef?
I have to
tidy
make calls
file
do shower with bleach
there I'll have to do it now!

I've always been really busy and energetic but since last summer I just want to sit down all the time~ I don't know if its from some sort of burn out from the anxiety/depression I had before or if its hormonal or something~I'm waiting for a mirena to come out.

I've got loads of other things to do after the basics but I get so tired all the time.

Anyway enough moaning I'll try to get it all done and come on here later!!

I bought some stewing steak to go in it, we chicken curry last night.

Good luck getting all that done. I just look around at the mess and think what's the point? It'll only get messed up again. Need some motivation

Are you making your own pastry?

No I've cheated and bought ready to roll puff pastry! Found some mushrooms lurking in the fridge so have thrown those in too.

Have managed half an hours ironing and put it all away. Done the potatoes and carrots for later. Have cleaned the bathroom and washed my hair. Time for lunch me thinks