Anyone else struggling with anxiety?

[mooseloose]

I've been off work nearly three months now and am just really fed up with myself now. i've refused any meds but I just cant get over it. I started my counselling last week, and am hopeful she can sort me out. it was caused by by son having an accident, and juggling work etc which just got too much and made me cry.
Id had a lot of panic attacks but they are getting better but now I just feel worried when i go out, and that i want to cry.
Today I just can't breathe. I don't know if i'm worse today because i'm due on too.
I just really feel i've lost my way and lost confidence in myself, and i dont know what to do to get myself back.
I'm all crabby and wound up with people too - no patience.
I think the doctor is fed up with me too and i'm also worried she won't keep giving me sick notes, i'm never usually ill.......

Big hugs again, let us know how it goes.

Blissa how did it go today?

Hi girls

Well I've still not got a definate answer to what is happening.

I had a scan but because I am so early they couldn't see anything. They have said they want me to have a blood test to determine my clotting factors before they will book me in. So tomorrow I will make another appointment to see my dr to sort that out. The results then have to be faxed over to the clinic and they will then ring me and see where we go from there.

The nurse said that if they can do it to wait a couple of weeks because they have to be able to see it on the scan.

So now I just have to get this blood test done and wait for the results. Hopefully this time next week I'll know where I stand

have you done any more pg tests?

They did a test at the clinic- it was positive

well at least you've got through today

Hopefully in a couple of weeks it will all be over! Makes sense - they can't see anything on the scan before 6/7 weeks, it's minuscule at this stage. Take care.

Hi Blissa, computer been broke again Im answering your posting from 4th July not read through the rest yet.

It isnt hard for me to listen to talk of termination at all. Honest. Its my own baby I wanted not anyone elses and it really doesnt bother me. If you have to stay awake for the terminatino what about if they give you somet like diazapan to take the edge off your nerves. I think if you could take it it would calm you down and make the procedure less stressfull.

Hello to everyone else. I am out of bed and back at work trying my best to beat my depression. Am meant to be going to Spain on Friday on holiday with my dh and two dc but my mother in law who holds the key to the apartment has fallen out with me. She is a bossy ex head mistress and although we have got the flights booked we dont have anywhere to stay. I have looked at hotels and it would cost us nearly 900 euros and we havent budgeted for it.

I have checked my insurance policy to see if I can cancel with me recently visiting the doctor for depression but I cant seem to get a straight answer out of them.
I dont know what to do. I have tried to phone my mum in law and say lets have a chat and put it all behind us but she says theres no point (STUBBORN bitch)as she has done nothing wrong. I didnt say either of us needed to admit defeat or right/wrong but her reply was maybe we need to some time apart. my dh said he wants no more to do with them and the dc's are upset as she keeps texting them nasty messages. I finally text her saying if she didnt want to resolve things then thats her decision. (NO FOOL like an old fool eh) but at least if anything happens to her whilst we not speaking my conscienous is clear. WHAT shall I do about the impending holiday.

Hi,
I too suffer with anxiety, I developed it last year whenI developed post natal depression. I know how you feel as at the time I was unable to leave the house at the start but gradually was able to go into shops again and start getting back to my normal life. I dont think I could have done this without the help of mediaction but once I felt stronger I came off them and have still continued to improve. Even now though I have good days and bad days and those generally follow my monthly cycle.

Hi,
I too suffer with anxiety, I developed it last year whenI developed post natal depression. I know how you feel as at the time I was unable to leave the house at the start but gradually was able to go into shops again and start getting back to my normal life. I dont think I could have done this without the help of mediaction but once I felt stronger I came off them and have still continued to improve. Even now though I have good days and bad days and those generally follow my monthly cycle.

does anyone fancy a quick chat before I make the kids tea

thanks for your reassuring words SUNSHINESALLY anxiety/depression really are debilating when they take a grip arent they. Its just a matter of not letting it win.

Hi windswept, sorry to hear about your holiday situation. It's a tough one. How much would you lose on the flights? Good for you for trying to speak to your mil and sort things out, it down to her now. Has your dh tried to speak to her? I'm here for a chat if you want one

I feel a bit better today. I've been for my blood test, spent ages waiting at the hospital, hopefully the results should be back by friday. I want to be awake during the procedure, if I can have it, the thought of a general anaesthetic terrifies me.

Mouette- the nurse said that she probably wouldn't be able to see anything, but tried anyway.

Hi sunshinesally, good to hear that you're able to manage your anxiety. It's nice to hear positive stories

waves to everyone else xx

Hi Blissa, Im glad you are sounding better, I would rather stay awake too, did you ask about having somet to take the edge of your nerves ? It such early days will they do it soon, and then you can try and put it all behind you.

I have been checking my hol insurance it says anxiety and stress are not covered, so I rang and asked them is depression covered, they wouldnt be specific. which really got me annoyed. The cost of the flights not too bad £450 pound for all four of us but I hate the waste of it. I have found a nice hotel for £750 much better than the accomodation at his mums that we were gonna stay in but we havent budgeted for it. We only go away once a year abroad, but now my dd is saying we werent meant to go and instead wants us to go to scotland. we have a little place there. But my dh said he wants no more to do with his mum as she is impossible and cant rise above herself.

I always end up in the firing line one way or another. If i do want to use the depression things as I was diagnosed recently with it I have got to piss about going back to doctors etc.. We are all divided about what to do.

Which is adding to my anxiety cause me and dh are only just managing to put this baby thing behind us. i.e. he wanted one then he didnt, then he said if i lost weight, even the doctor said i was fine as I was. its such a mess . I just got in from work and got piles of dirty washing from last week when i couldnt face it i dont know what to do.x

Why do things always happen at once?

It's crap that they won't give you a straight answer re the depression. These companies are so quick to take your money, but make so difficult when anything goes wrong. Do you think it's worth fighting for the money? Or maybe better to cut your losses and have a lovely time in Scotland and forget all about your mil.

How old are your dcs? I too have loads of washing and housework to do. I haven't felt like doing anything this past week

Ny computer is so slow your message has just come through been looking at an empty screen. my kids are older now. my ds is 13 and my dd is 17. I am 43 but lie about my age ha... i say i am much younger as i look it thank god. what about your kids how old are they.

my dh has just come home and i still really want/need a holiday and now i realise things arent gonna be for me the way i had hoped. i.e. looking after more younger kids i feel like after all this depression letting my hair down and enjoying myself.

the other thing i could do is pay for the flights to be changed say to oct school holidays and then we have got time to save for the hotel, and then still go to scotland. then i suppose everyone (except for me is happy). see i havent lost it altogher have I blissa, as i am beginning to think straight. x

That sounds like a good plan, but not so if you're not happy about it. What would be the best thing for you?

I have 3 dcs, dd1 will be 8 in a couple of weeks, dd2 is 5 and ds is 3. He is a right handful atm!

just got off the phone from mil she is so stubborn. my dh had a frank conversation with her. it has took hours to sort out. I always back down, because i think she is old and what if somet happens. Blissa i really dont know what the best thing is to do. Its knocked the gloss off going now anyway.
But at least i have started to tackle the washing..... i feel a bit better about that... doesnt that sound daft. washing can get you down i must be mad. all the clean stuff is away its just the dirty washing now. we have resolved the issues to a fashion. she has accused me of being rude and aggressive. I have tried to tell her that when somebody doesnt want a particular conversation she will not accept no for an answer.

Thats why i then became firm with her that i dont want to discuss every aspect of my parenting every single time somet crops up. anyway we can have the keys to the apartment if we want it but no one except for me wants to go....

you do have your handsfull dont you with your three dc under 8. No wonder you have agonised over your future. I hope you continue to feel better about the decision you are making and you do have your health mental and physical to think of dont you. xx

I'm glad that you've managed to talk to her and cleared the air in a way. She sounds like somebody who doesn't like to admit they are in the wrong? Maybe you could go to Spain on your own and the others go to Scotland . Seriously though, I don't know what the solution is but I'm sure you will sort it out.

I know what you mean about the washing getting you down, I'm the same. My day doesn't feel started til I've put a load on- this mornings was ds's wet bed at 6.30! Just running the hoover round can cheer me up too!

My bloods have come back ok . Didn't expect them back so quickly. They are being faxed over to the clinic so hopefully we shall hear soon. One of my friends saw me at the school yesterday and I got a text from her last night asking if I was ok and could she do anything? It took me ages to reply as I didn't know how to.

Hi Girls!

How are you all?

Blissa - I am glad your bloods came back okay, that must be a weight off! Hopefully the clinic will take you quickly now and get rid of the cell cluster! Fingers crossed for you!

Windswept - Can't believe your mil would be so nasty where the grandkids are involved Well I hope you get your wee holiday in Spain! Wish I was brave enough to venture abroad as I really miss my holidays and feel like the boys are missing out due to me! Although I went to turkey with my ds1 was 8 months and swore I would never take kids overseas again until they were a bit older! Maybe next year after my course of cbt

Hope everyone else is good! Going to a wedding tomorrow night although for a change I am looking forward to a night out and feeling weird about feeling excited about a night out, lol! Its been a while as I am always terrified I will freak! I am shattered today my little monkey had be stirring most of the night then got up at 7! Kids!

Does anyone else mind if I start a new threat to carry on from this one as my computer is taking ages to open this one up as it has so many posts, lol! U can let me know!

Have as nice a day as possible everyone!
x x x

HI GIRLS, going to spain after all in an hour or so. Had a mad panic last night as i could not find my dd new passport i was in absolute tears. i find it at 12 midnight. am knackeredd but determind to beat my fear of flying, have took a small diazapan, dd also has fear of flying dh is stressed and as had to go into work this morning. phew. but i think it will do us all good a bit of sun and a bit of fun. going to torremelinos and for the first time in ages feel like living again.

Blissa i said a little prayer for you and obviously it worked so glad your blood is o.k i am back next friday.

Yommymommy how do i go on your new thread i really enjoy our conversations ? PLEASE ADVISE. Also good luck for the wedding hope you have a lovely time. Remember everyone lets just try and be happy because life is so short isnt it. love to everyone pray for me that i have a safe flight, im crapping it, and feel i am endandering my children.xxxx

Thanks windswept, that's very kind of you. This is a bit late, you're probably almost there by now!

Hope you have a great time tonight yommy. This thread will stop soon, they get too big for more posts after they reach 1000!

Still haven't heard from the clinic, am getting impatient now.

Hope everyone else is ok xx

Hi Blissa
Sorry to hear no news from clinic. Do start a new thread and let us know how it goes. Take care of yourself. Best wishes and all that.

Hi Girls,

Windswept - bot late, but hope you have a wonderful time in Spain! I am so jealous . Hope the flight was okay!

Blissa, sorry to hear still no news from the clinic. I thought they would have delt with things very quickly?! I hope you hear soon!

The wedding was great last night! I felt great the whole night! Just had one wobble, but started talking to someone and it past quickly! The weirdest thing was that I usually get myself so worked up before had, but that never happened last night! I am feeling totally shattered today, lol! And although I never drank much have been feeling rough all day! Dispite that took the kids swimming to the outdoor pool, but it was bloody freezing so ended up just going for a walk! All in all its been a good weekend! Has really given me a confidence boost in that I can beat this anxiety thing (we all can)!

Hope everyone else is well!
x x x

P.S. So what happens when the thread finishes blissa, does it go onto a new one???

Great to hear you had a good time yommy, I bet it's done you the world of good. Was a bit chilly for an out doorswim this weekend! We ended up taking the dcs to the fair, they had a great time apart from dd2 who got scared on the dodgems!

Still no word from the clinic, I'm going to give them til tomorrow and then give them a call. I'm just running on auto-pilot at the moment, not wanting to make any plans or anything. I'm sort of pretending it's all happening to someone else.

Once we've got 1000 posts or so on here, it'll just say the thread's too big to take any more posts and then we'll have to start another thread. Not many to go now!

Hope everyone else is ok xx