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Original poster

Arrggghhh :(

155 replies

ETsmum · 15/03/2005 07:45

Quick vent required Had PND with my ds now 19months) and largely over it. But I hate days like today when I wake up feeling crap - just low, and feeling coldy doesn't help my mood either. Anyway he's awake on the early side for him (I shouldn't complain he sleeps v. well) but I just don't want to go and get him up and start the day Bu**er why does typing make me cry?

Feel selfish typing this, as I AM feeling so much better than a few months ago. I'm sure all mums get low days, I just feel so incompitant when I do 1 thing at a time I guess.....

OP posts:
Original poster
ETsmum · 15/03/2005 07:45

OMG too many !!

OP posts:
dropinthe · 15/03/2005 07:54

I get loads of days like this-want to be asleep,looking a mess,not being bothered to do anything bar minimum required to look after kids. Its crap,isnt it? Oh,and those bloody stupid cbeebies blaring in the background!
Answer? Get yourself up honey-make it a day for you as best you can-walking/shopping/reading/spring cleaning YOUR bedroom-anything that you wouldnt normal do and on top of that have a serious think about everything good in your life and how lucky you are to have that!!
Am I talking enough shit to cheer you up???

SoupDragon · 15/03/2005 08:00

Yep. I get days like this too. I suspect it goes with the territory. From age 2, both DSs went into full time nursery for 2 full days a week even though I'm a SAHM. It was wonderful - gave me the break I needed to be a better mother on the other days.

MrsBigD · 15/03/2005 08:05

ETsmum - definitely can sympathise... I've got dd (3y) and ds (7m)and on a regular basis have days where I'd rather be shot to the moon then be here... had a bad week last week where I couldn't be bothered to do anything bar the minimum and had to make an effort to not start this week the same, so kicked myself to take kids at least down the road to do a little spot of shopping.

So try not to worry... it's perfectly normal

Original poster
ETsmum · 15/03/2005 08:21

Thanks all - know I just need to get going It was just good to hear I'm not the only one. Dropinthe - you reminded me I made a "feel good list" a while back, so will have a look at this. Also going to go into town later and buy MYSELF a little something (must NOT be food - I'm a terrible comfort eater!)

Ds is having breakfast now, and I must remember how wonderful he is, and I'm lucky to have him and dh. Thanks again - you know how it is when you're feeling a bit rotten and just want someone else to say "it's ok, I know how you feel."

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dropinthe · 15/03/2005 08:26

OOh,please share said feel good list or is it personal? Know what you mean about comfort eating-ive just stopped smoking and am finding it really hard not to buy those portions of cheesecake you get in the shops!!!

Original poster
ETsmum · 15/03/2005 08:30

Out of interest, have you/do you have PND, and do you ever worry when you're feeling a bit low, that you'll get really low?? Think I get frightened that I'll get "out of control" again. (Hope this makes sense, don't want to go on TOO much about how bad PND was for me!)

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dropinthe · 15/03/2005 08:34

(Sorry,trying to make light of PND debate!!)

MrsBigD · 15/03/2005 08:35

ETsmum - I did suffer from PND with dd and I know what you mean about 'getting out of control'... that's why I went to get help.

With ds it was a different form as more turned inwards along the lines of 'I can't go on anymore' ... sometimes the only thing that kept me going a few months ago was the thought that dh would never be able to look after the kids by himself. He's good with them, but being a full time dad would be way too much for him iykwim.

I still have days where I feel so low I can't even bring myself to lament my sorrow on here!

Original poster
ETsmum · 15/03/2005 08:37

Feel good list is just stuff like "think about days when the sun is shining" or "loud cheery music" or "remember aft spent in the park playing ball with ds." Just stuff which seems to go out lof my mind when feeling down.

Cheescake=M&S....mmmmm Feeling better at the thought

OP posts:
dropinthe · 15/03/2005 08:39

No,get them out of your mind! You want apples really,dont you!!

Original poster
ETsmum · 15/03/2005 08:42

Haven't talked much about my PND on here....just wicsh I'd found Mumsnet months ago, as I think it'd have really helped me. Used to get VERY weepy, incapable and suicidal, and don't ever want to feel like that again. V. horrid spending days just contemplating how to do it etc....can't believe I'm writing this as I don't want anyone thinking I feel this bad any more!

OP posts:
Original poster
ETsmum · 15/03/2005 08:43

Mmmmmm...apples....no, doesn't really do it for me!! Nice plate of salad?? (Might work!)

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dropinthe · 15/03/2005 08:46

I'm getting a lot of enjoyment from looking at my 13 month ds just learning how to walk.Part of me is sad that he is growing out of babydom(I'm not having any more!)but part of me is thinking-"What a great job Ive done"
Being a mum is without a doubt the hardest job in the world and we all suffer from it-pnd does nothing to help-but remembering it is completely hormonal and treatable must get you through the dark days.
If not there is always cheesecake!!

dropinthe · 15/03/2005 08:49

See ETsmum-you feel better already,eh?
Seriously.I cant contemplate on how you must have felt planning your own death-total ly unimaginable to me! Must have been through hell,you poor thing. I only had mild pnd and it only lasted a few months-almost got to that I cant get out of bed stage though and thats pretty shit.

Original poster
ETsmum · 15/03/2005 08:53

You're right, feeling a bit better already - you helped a lot! Must go for now - have Sing and Sign class to get to (and ds shouting Mummeeeeee )

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dropinthe · 15/03/2005 09:00

Have a great day!!

dropinthe · 15/03/2005 14:45

Are you there Etsmum?? Have ended up having a crap day-should have taken my own advice?

Lonelymum · 15/03/2005 14:51

Feel like I am eavesdropping but just go and get yourself some M&S cheesecake dropinthe and have a slice for me too!

dropinthe · 15/03/2005 15:01

Are you a lonely mum,LM???

dropinthe · 15/03/2005 15:40

Sorry,was only expecting a light hearted answer!

Original poster
ETsmum · 15/03/2005 17:05

Back at the mo dropinthe. And I was so good and didn't get the cheesecake (did go into M&S and get strawberries, to be eaten with ice cream AND cream!) Sorry to hear you had a crap day dropinthe. Relieved to say my day improved - was pretty sure it would (boy am I moody!!) Just feel like now I am pretty much over the PND, that I should feel happy all the time, which is daft and unrealistic I know

Thinking about suicide is pretty draining and miserable, and I never want to be there again, hence getting a bit scared when I feel a bit low.

Anyway, my birthday tomorrow Dh has the day off and I am going to have a GOOD day

OP posts:
reflection · 15/03/2005 17:11

Happy Birthday for tomorrow

Original poster
ETsmum · 15/03/2005 17:16

Awww, thanks. I'm so determined that it's going to be so much better than last year

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Lonelymum · 15/03/2005 19:52

Happy Birthday for tomorrow ETsmum. Enjoy your day with dh.
Dropinthe, sorry, I wasn't ignoring you. Check the time of your post: it was picking up from school time. Only just back on and yes, my name does describe my condition!