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Original poster

Arrggghhh :(

155 replies

ETsmum · 15/03/2005 07:45

Quick vent required Had PND with my ds now 19months) and largely over it. But I hate days like today when I wake up feeling crap - just low, and feeling coldy doesn't help my mood either. Anyway he's awake on the early side for him (I shouldn't complain he sleeps v. well) but I just don't want to go and get him up and start the day Bu**er why does typing make me cry?

Feel selfish typing this, as I AM feeling so much better than a few months ago. I'm sure all mums get low days, I just feel so incompitant when I do 1 thing at a time I guess.....

OP posts:
dropinthe · 23/03/2005 13:26

Sorry,forgot to ask how your kids were after your outburst last weekend?? Are things back to normal a bit more?

Lonelymum · 23/03/2005 13:30

Yes. Unfortunately they are used to their mother screaming madly. There isn't an ounce of serenity in my make up! Really it is the cumulative affect I worry about more than one isolated outburst.

Re dh being away, well you won't know, but I have a phobia about the kids being sick and I am afraid I can enjoy nothing while I have to face that alone hence why I hate dh being away.

dropinthe · 23/03/2005 13:34

Thats horrible for you to have to deal with and as you have only just moved to a new area I cant even say invite a friend round on the nights he's away,can I?
Are you on ADs??

Lonelymum · 23/03/2005 13:40

Well I have never known a friend who would want to be around in that sort of emergency!

No I am not on Ads. Really most of my moods come down to my phobia and I went to see my GP about it last November. She was supposed to be referring me to a therapist but I don't know if she did or not. Let's put it this way, I hadn't heard anything by the time I moved. I am not sure she took my phobia seriously even though I cried and was unable to speak to her about it for about 5 minutes. I know I have to start all over again with my new doctor, but, even though it is a major hindrance in my life (that is putting it mildly!) it is not exactly something I want to rush out and talk about again.

Are you on Ads?

dropinthe · 23/03/2005 13:46

No. Havent been on for about a year although had mild pnd and even then wasnt on them for long.
I think if it is getting to the point of making you cry for 5 minutes,its a very serious problem.Phobias can be debilatating(wish there was spell check on m/n)and your sounds bad-it has a name doesnt it??

Lonelymum · 23/03/2005 13:49

Emetophobia. I didn't know it had a name until I came across it on a phobia website. It helps to know it is common enough to be named but I dodn't belive it is curable although plenty of Mners have encouraged me to chase up the therapy.

Did you find ADs made you feel out of control?

dropinthe · 23/03/2005 13:53

I took them for an extended time approx 4 years ago after my step dad died-they only did that if I drunk on them! I mainly found that they deadened alot of emotions until I became this kind of automatron but that was ok because I needed that continuity to keep going.

Lonelymum · 23/03/2005 13:55

I think they have their place, but if they did to me what you described they did to you, I don't think that would be appropriate for me. I ask because my GP was all for putting me on Prozac and I said no.

dropinthe · 23/03/2005 13:58

Maybe do some research on the internet on different types and their side effects-Prozac works differently on some people to others-its what I took. However,will not cure your phobia-have you thought about hypnotism?

Lonelymum · 23/03/2005 14:01

Hypnotism scares me rigid to be honest - I am scared of the loss of control (might be part of the reason for my phobia too come to think of it, fear of losing control) but I would try it if someone convinced me it might have an affect.

dropinthe · 23/03/2005 14:10

I cant convice you as it didnt work for me(tried to stop smoking but then had no willpower at the time)
When did it start and do you know why it did and as you say is it more to do with the control thing-have you ever lost control??

Lonelymum · 23/03/2005 14:16

As far as I am concerned I have always had it, all my life. I think in common with a lot of children I was scared of being sick but I wasn't very often and apparently this can make you an emetophobe as you never get accustomed to being sick or develop an adult approach to it IYSWIM.

It got far worse when I had the children and continues to get worse each time a tummy bug enters the family. It is mainly focussed on them rather than on me as I am fairly confident of not getting ill.

As for the loss of control thing, I don't know. I just know I do not like losing control eg drunkeness, going on fairground rides, that sort of thing, and it stirkes me being sick is one major example of not being in control of oneself. I am not conscious though that that is the root of the problem.

dropinthe · 23/03/2005 14:19

I think councelling would be the best bet-I understand you would really rather not talk about it but problems that deep rooted dont go away by themselves.

Lonelymum · 23/03/2005 14:22

Oh I could talk about it until the cows come home but I am not convinced I can be freed from it, but maybe that is because I have always had it and I can't imagine life without it. Anyway, thanks for the chat about it now.

dropinthe · 23/03/2005 14:23

No probs-I like talking to you. Have got to go and get oldest from nursery now so catch up later. Keep ing!!

dropinthe · 24/03/2005 16:52

l/MUM-was your evening ok??

Lonelymum · 24/03/2005 20:05

Hi Dropinthe. Yes evening (and night) went OK although as usual when on my own I found it hard to get to sleep initially and ds3 still woke up at 6:20 so I am a bit knackered now. Dh home in about 40 mins.

dropinthe · 25/03/2005 08:02

My littlest wakes up every am at 5.15 almost to the minute!This morning bless him I got to lay in until 7.00am-what a blessing and a nice way to start easter! Are you doing anything nice this weekend? I'm working half of it and visiting relatives/friends the other half-most of our family have gone home to Ireland for a houli!!
Anyway,if I dont get to speak to you have a really nice Easter!!

Lonelymum · 25/03/2005 14:02

You too. Our Easter doesn't start until tonight as dh works for one of those ungodly companies that work Good Friday (sacrilege!) and have Tuesday off instead. Also, he is taking Weds off as it is our dd's birthday. We are away all those days: first going home to check our house, then off to see MIL, then off to see my parents. Back sometime on Weds. Back on Mumsnet on Thursday probably!

Are you Irish then? (Sorry, I didn't know.) Which part are you from?

dropinthe · 25/03/2005 17:37

No.dh family are all from Monaghan!!Im quarter Irish where as he is the full shabang!!I was an O'Connor before I married-am now an Irwin.My grandparents on my mums side where from Kerry. I ve never been but would love to-we didnt have any spare money to go.

dropinthe · 30/03/2005 21:48

Nice to have you back and looking forward to catching up!!!

Lonelymum · 30/03/2005 21:53

Hi there. Nice to be back, despite dh tutting and huffing in the background as Mumsnet pops up on the screen!

dropinthe · 30/03/2005 21:57

Mine is too!!! Football was on but now no excuse-he really hates me on here-he is sooooooooooooooo jealous of it!!

Lonelymum · 30/03/2005 22:01

Mine has buggered off to bed. Hmmm. Do you think that is a hint he is dropping there? No probably not: he has to be up at 6 tomorrow as he is back at work.....

dropinthe · 30/03/2005 22:06

Lucky you-loads 'o' time on mumsnet to cheer you up!What have you been up to lately?