Please someone help me

[solowpleasehelp]

I'm so low I don't know where to turn. Having strong suicidal thoughts. Please can someone talk to me I just need to feel less alone for 5 minutes

What has happened to make you feel like this? So sorry you feel so awful.

Because I honestly cannot take anymore . I have suffered with my mental health for a good 3-4 years . I’ve made idiotic decisions . This year I got diagnosed with cancer and been in hospital 7 times the most recent one for 3 weeks . I had 3 visits that’s it ! Nobody would care if I went I just cause misery everywhere I go

That sounds really upsetting. I'm not surprised you are feeling like this.
Cancer on top of mental health is so hard.

As for "causing misery" - nobody would expect you to be singing and dancing with what you have been going through. xxxx

ive also just split up with my partner of 15 years

Everything happening at once, isn't it? 4 years of bad stuff.
You must feel overwhelmed. Whom are you closest to? A friend? A sister?

No friends and no family support I’ve pushed everyone away

My love, my guess is that if you phoned one of them they would want to help. I know you don't think anyone could help, but you get my drift...?
Worth a try?

Love, if you reply and I am not here it's just that I have to do a bit of work. I will come back.

It’s just too hard to explain but I don’t want to contact any of my family because I don’t want to be a burden to them like I have been already this year

I get that. But you can't go through this on your own. Please call someone in your family. Did they say you are a burden or are those your words?

No they didn’t say that I can just see it in there eyes . My dad gave me a huge lecture when I was in hospital last week

Ooh dear. Sorry your dad gave you a lecture.

I understand you don't want to phone the Samaritans because you had an unhelpful experience. There are other helplines too when a person is as low as you are.

Would you think about calling the National Suicide Line? They are open from 6pm to midnight. 0800 689 5652
They are really nice. All you have to say is "Everything's too much" or something short.
Would you give it a try? Can't do any harm?

Samaritans are hit and miss but what's great is no lectures about suicide. Sometimes just saying I feel like doing this helps alot. I've spoken to some wonderful people about my personal situation and most have been great.

Thank you I’m not ready yet but will keep the number just incase

Please call your local crisis team or a family member/friend. You are not alone and things will not always feel this way. Please be kind to yourself and don't lose hope. The world will be worse off without you in it.

I get you're not ready yet. I'm glad you are keeping the number.

I think a friendly, soft voice (not just a written one like mine) will sound good. You are worthy of kindness, dear.