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Original poster

Please someone help me

141 replies

solowpleasehelp · 05/09/2024 18:19

I'm so low I don't know where to turn. Having strong suicidal thoughts. Please can someone talk to me I just need to feel less alone for 5 minutes

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Original poster
solowpleasehelp · 05/09/2024 19:33

I have a couples of mates but I don't want to burden them. My mum passed away. I can't talk to my dad because he thinks the sun shines out of abusive arsehole's arse. So I'm really alone with it all - except for you lovely ladies of course. I'm so grateful for you all, you have no idea. Thank you x

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Original poster
solowpleasehelp · 05/09/2024 19:34

The blocking contact and stonewalling- this is abusive isn't it? Or am I going mad? He's doing that to control me in subtle ways isn't he??

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UmbrellaEllaEllaElla · 05/09/2024 19:36

solowpleasehelp · 05/09/2024 19:34

The blocking contact and stonewalling- this is abusive isn't it? Or am I going mad? He's doing that to control me in subtle ways isn't he??

It shows he isnt prepared to communicate in a healthy and mature way.

If he was het up, he could have said 'I need some time to decompress'.

But to block and stonewall, especially when you share a child, yes this is abusive at worst and immature at best.

Cece54 · 05/09/2024 19:38

You will not be a burden to your friends !! Talk to them.... helps a lot to have someone to rant to ....they'll be on your side.... tell them what you've just told us.. you'll do just great..

LankyLana · 05/09/2024 19:42

Hi OP, sorry you are feeling so low.

You matter and your life matters. We are here for you and will help you get through, a minute at a time. It sounds like you are stronger than you realize to have got this far.

I spoke to the Samaritans last week (well, I say speak - mostly I just sobbed down the phone at them) and it was just so weirdly helpful not to be alone, to just have someone listen and care and not judged and not know anything about me but yet be there for me. It was an amazing thing really. Definitely don't rule it out - it's completely anonymous.

Original poster
solowpleasehelp · 05/09/2024 19:43

I've text the Samaritans and they haven't replied

OP posts:
LankyLana · 05/09/2024 19:43

In case it helps, Samaritans are on 116 123

Original poster
solowpleasehelp · 05/09/2024 19:45

I don't think I want to speak to a person. I feel too ashamed and overwhelmed to even get my words out. Text is easier

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LankyLana · 05/09/2024 19:45

Ah, crossed posts. I didn't know they had a text service. If you can manage to call, it might really help to speak with someone.

LankyLana · 05/09/2024 19:46

Aagh sorry another crossed post

LankyLana · 05/09/2024 19:47

I totally get that - I was just sobbing down the phone. I hope they text back soon. You could try "shout" too - Text 'SHOUT' to 85258.

LightSpeeds · 05/09/2024 19:49

Thinking of you xx

LankyLana · 05/09/2024 19:50

Sending you a big hug

Original poster
solowpleasehelp · 05/09/2024 19:52

Do you think honestly my kids are better with me here? How? I'm such a mess.

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LankyLana · 05/09/2024 19:52

Your kids love you and they know you love them.

LankyLana · 05/09/2024 19:53

They are absolutely better off with you here.

GCITC · 05/09/2024 19:54

Do you have any mental health diagnoses?

You sound quite like me, catastrophising over relationships and perceived/actualized abandonment.

What helps me in those moments is sitting in a dark room, blocking out the world and just getting through the next second. You don't have to get through each day or each hour, for now just focus on making it through each second.

LankyLana · 05/09/2024 19:54

There are so many survivors on this website - so many people who have been where you are and are still here and can help you.

Treesinthewind · 05/09/2024 19:54

Because you're their mum and you clearly love them. I totally get the guilt over choosing a shit dad for your child, but the alternative is them not existing! And you dying wouldn't stop their dad being a tw@t; it would just mean they didn't have their lovely mum!

twohotwaterbottles · 05/09/2024 19:55

Darling. Huge hugs. Your kids love you and absolutely need and want you in their life. You sound like an amazing mum who has been in a very toxic relationship. I had stuff going on last year and could also not stop sobbing. One minute one hour at a time. You will come through this. We're all here to hold your hand x

LankyLana · 05/09/2024 19:55

If you were not here, your children would miss you every day of their lives. They need you - warts and all. You are their mum.

A future you will look back on this horrible time and be so, so glad that you didn't end your life.

LankyLana · 05/09/2024 20:04

There are people who care and can help you. Take each minute at a time.

LankyLana · 05/09/2024 20:05

The TIPP technique can be helpful for some people - https://dialecticalbehaviortherapy.com/distress-tolerance/tipp/

T: Temperature
Cooler temperatures decrease your heart rate (which is usually faster when we are emotionally overwhelmed). You can either splash your face with cold water, take a cold (but not too cold) shower, or if the weather outside is chilly you can go outside for a walk. Another idea is to take an ice cube and hold it in your hand or rub your face with it.

TIPP: DBT Skills, Worksheets, Videos, Exercises

Learn the TIPP technique to control overwhelming emotions. Watch the videos, learn the skills, do the worksheets, and apply it to your life.

https://dialecticalbehaviortherapy.com/distress-tolerance/tipp

LankyLana · 05/09/2024 20:10

It's so scary and horrible to feel like this. And hard to reach out. But you are doing it.

Original poster
solowpleasehelp · 05/09/2024 20:15

I'm texting Samaritans, they asked if I have thoughts of ending my life, I was honest and said yes, will they send the police? It's that shout number I'm texting

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