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Original poster

Please someone help me

141 replies

solowpleasehelp · 05/09/2024 18:19

I'm so low I don't know where to turn. Having strong suicidal thoughts. Please can someone talk to me I just need to feel less alone for 5 minutes

OP posts:
Sirzy · 05/09/2024 18:20

Phone the Samaritans, or the new line via 111 get yourself some support in the here and now and then look at the bigger issue.

take care.

Rubyandscarlett · 05/09/2024 18:21

Sorry you are in such a dark place - can you tell us a bit about yourself? Xxx

Original poster
solowpleasehelp · 05/09/2024 18:21

I can't ring anyone, I've done that in the past when I've struggled and they called my work and referred my kids to social services, I can't risk that again.

OP posts:
TruJay · 05/09/2024 18:22

Hello, I’ve been where you are, it’s totally shit, I know it doesn’t feel like it but it does get better. Please stay x

Do you have anyone nearby? Are you living alone?

EscapingTheseFeelings · 05/09/2024 18:23

Is there anything that has triggered your feelings?
Things can get better.
Do you take medication?
A handhold if you need it 💐

Original poster
solowpleasehelp · 05/09/2024 18:23

I have my two kids here but one is an adult and going out soon. The other is little and asleep. I have no one else.

OP posts:
NetflixAndKill · 05/09/2024 18:24

I’ve been there too. I promise you, it gets better. Just take a minute at a time. Are you on any medication? Does your GP know how you feel? Sending you a MASSIVE hug xxx

MNHQ
PipMumsnet · 05/09/2024 18:26

Hello OP, we are really sorry to hear you are feeling this way.

We hope you don't mind, but when these threads are flagged up to us we usually add a link to our Mental Health resources. You can also go to the Samaritans website or email them on [email protected].

Support from other Mumsnetters is great and we really hope you will be able to take some comfort from your fellow posters, but as other MNers will tell you, it's really a good idea to seek RL help and support as well.

We also like to remind everyone that, although we're awed daily by the astonishing support our members give each other through life's trickier twists and turns, we'd always caution anyone never to give more of themselves to another poster, emotionally or financially, than they can afford to spare.

We are going to move this thread to the Mental Health section shortly.

Wishing you the very best,
MNHQ💐

Samaritans - Here to listen

Samaritans works to make sure there’s always someone there for anyone who needs someone. Read more.

https://www.samaritans.org/

RaeMumsnet · 05/09/2024 18:29

This reply has been withdrawn

This message has been withdrawn at the poster's request

Original poster
solowpleasehelp · 05/09/2024 18:29

NetflixAndKill · 05/09/2024 18:24

I’ve been there too. I promise you, it gets better. Just take a minute at a time. Are you on any medication? Does your GP know how you feel? Sending you a MASSIVE hug xxx

I take propranolol and promethazine to help me
Sleep.

OP posts:
Original poster
solowpleasehelp · 05/09/2024 18:30

The tears just won't stop I can't stop thinking how much I've failed at everything in my life and my kids would be better off without me as a mother

OP posts:
FusionChefGeoff · 05/09/2024 18:30

I'm sure Samaritans can't and don't report you it's completely anonymous

UmbrellaEllaEllaElla · 05/09/2024 18:31

solowpleasehelp · 05/09/2024 18:30

The tears just won't stop I can't stop thinking how much I've failed at everything in my life and my kids would be better off without me as a mother

Sweetheart, you're not a failure I promise. This is a blip. Are you comparing to others?

You are safe in this moment. Keep talking to us.

ilovesooty · 05/09/2024 18:31

FusionChefGeoff · 05/09/2024 18:30

I'm sure Samaritans can't and don't report you it's completely anonymous

Yes it is.

LifeExperience · 05/09/2024 18:35

You can get through this. I've battled depression and anxiety for decades and you CAN get better. I never thought I could feel as well and happy as I do now. Your children need you, yes, even the adult child and especially your young one. Please call and get help.

NoEscapingMe · 05/09/2024 18:36

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Fimbledore · 05/09/2024 18:37

Something that has helped me before is emailing the Samaritans. You can have a back and forth dialogue with them over weeks if you need to. It helped clear my head and feel listened to.
This will pass, I promise x

Original poster
solowpleasehelp · 05/09/2024 18:38

So it's stemmed from what I think is an emotionally abusive relationship but I'm not sure. He's now blocked me on all forms of contact.

OP posts:
PaillettenBedeckt · 05/09/2024 18:41

solowpleasehelp · 05/09/2024 18:38

So it's stemmed from what I think is an emotionally abusive relationship but I'm not sure. He's now blocked me on all forms of contact.

Has it sent you into a spin? That's understandable.

What happened in the relationship that you didn't like?

Original poster
solowpleasehelp · 05/09/2024 18:44

I've looked it up and a lot of the stuff is emotional abuse, stonewalling, gaslighting, that sort of stuff. It was so subtle i missed a lot of it but it made me question my own reality. He's the father of my youngest too. It's all such a mess

OP posts:
Original poster
solowpleasehelp · 05/09/2024 18:46

I called him out on some of it and he walked out and has now removed all contact on everything which means even if there's an emergency with his child, I can't contact him.

OP posts:
Original poster
solowpleasehelp · 05/09/2024 18:47

I'm so shaken up I can't eat or anything, I feel so sick. The tears won't stop, all I can think is that I've failed my kids. That I'm such a failure in every way.

OP posts:
PaillettenBedeckt · 05/09/2024 18:49

solowpleasehelp · 05/09/2024 18:47

I'm so shaken up I can't eat or anything, I feel so sick. The tears won't stop, all I can think is that I've failed my kids. That I'm such a failure in every way.

You're not a failure. You're a good person going through a crisis.

When did you start feeling like this?

UmbrellaEllaEllaElla · 05/09/2024 18:50

solowpleasehelp · 05/09/2024 18:38

So it's stemmed from what I think is an emotionally abusive relationship but I'm not sure. He's now blocked me on all forms of contact.

The end of a relationship set me off a while ago too. If he was emotionally abusive it may take some time to see, but him blocking you will be an absolute blessing in disguise.

UmbrellaEllaEllaElla · 05/09/2024 18:51

solowpleasehelp · 05/09/2024 18:47

I'm so shaken up I can't eat or anything, I feel so sick. The tears won't stop, all I can think is that I've failed my kids. That I'm such a failure in every way.

This is likely the worst it will feel. And it is frightening. Its okay to cry or not be able to eat right now. But I can promise you, you aren't a failure. You're a human doing her best.