Parents of anxious kids/ teens support thread

[Stilllivinginazoo]

Hi
Welcome to parents of anxious/ teens thread.idea is to share tips and advice and listen and support each other on days things are getting tougher

Poor little bean.hope he settled ok Philomena the end of day fights are hard when we are all tired and who wants to relive that as we try settle our brains to sleep

I really should get up.mountain of stuff to do.as always on sofa,D's on other
Church are planting daffodil bulbs today(at David's church/their emblem)so we going along to help as 2500 to go into the ground!!think that'll be good for D's😁
Need get up and power thru mountain ironing that's in my field of vision....

Hi all great thread👍

My DS 10 in year 7 suffers terribly with anxiety attacks, very literal thinking, very academically intelligent but seriously lacks common sense 🙈...CAMHS are absolutely useless in my opinion!....This thread has enlightened me that I'm not the only parent after all...😁...and great advice too 👍

Welcome cheaperthebetter
Have you got other DC?
You most definitely ARE NOT alone!!
Has he always been anxious?

Just spotted your post Viking on end of previous page.thanks for the kind words.i crashed and burned
Mad at myself this morning as feel rubbish physically and mentally for it..
Not greatest if sleeps,but not worst!!

Deffo feel like only one try keep the ship afloat

I was playing on my phone(as you do once awake,and D's laying asleep on other sofa.ironing piles glaring from the corner)and remembered I managed carve in time yesterday for lil zoo but not dd2 as struggled with DS last night and he came down very quickly.hsrder to be firm when dad's upstair in bed as he will undermine things
Anyhoo,back to my positive point,she wanted to make cupcakes.we were out of eggs and she's dairy free so they are vegan.no one in our house is so I didn't check if the butterfly toppers were anything other than dairy free!
They are as yummy as they look and we scarfed down the lot in record time!!

Oh, DD's assessment has been rescheduled for next Wednesday at 12.30. So it should have been a lie in, but no one thinks so.

Welcome cheaper .

mmmm those cupcakes Zoo - so glad you enjoyed them . Those butterfly toppers are too cute! Do you sometimes have to make different meals for DCs because one is vegan? DH is vegetarian but DCs are not so it can be quite a bit of work juggling that. Hopefully today will be an improvement over yesterday.

Philomena nightime can be so stressful - reasoning flies out the window when you're tired and cranky! Hope today is better.

DS2 really cranky this morning and not wanting to go to school. Does this every 1-2 weeks and drives me crazy.
DS1 ... school is becoming less supportive and I don't see how it is going to work. Granted, DS1 out of school for one month. Initially was told he could work on other subjects from home until November's meeting - now told 'homework packages' not available. DH and I discussing pulling him out - he has two more years of high school and it may make more sense to get a high school equivalency certificate (a series of exams he would practice for). I don't know - bit confused right now.

Happy Friday to all!

Sorry school aren't more helpful Viking
Any consolation mine isn't either!!
On the food front I have dd2 vegetarian,lil zoo dairy allergy,D's texture issues
Popular offerings they all eat-
Shepherd's pie(mince beef/lamb/soy with veg and top mash and baked)
Pea and green bean risotto(little dairy free butter in at the to lil zoo portion,cheese to D's and top baked salmon.dd2 has cashew butter stirred thru her helping and top chop cashews)
Baked potatoes with veggie sausages and home made slaw with oil/lemon dressing rather than creamy mayo(none mine like mayo)
Bean burgers and sweet potato chips with salad
Lentil/bean stews and rice/couscous/crusty bread

I try to do simple variations of the same thing if I can,but there are occasions where I end up cooking one for omnivores and different for the veggie.she can make beautiful omlettes and Dahl's so is able to feed herself when it's all too much/I'm too tired as she loves to have a go not so good at clearing up tho
Keep meaning teach them all to make omelettes...on a bad day here it's cereal and fruit and help yourself

DS2 went to bed at 5, he's quiet, so he may have gone to sleep. Last time I tried this he was awake until 7.30!

Zoo - it's lunch time here so your post had me hungry and drooling . DCs are omnivores but DS2 extremely picky. DH vegetarian...as was I for many years. Now enjoy fish, esp. salmon regularly.
Yes, I'm trying to force encourage DS1 to learn basic cooking skills too.

Philomena fingers crossed you continue to have a quiet evening!

Must go to supermarket now (not working today). Sadly my route isn't even remotely nature-like like yours is Zoo , otherwise would share something nice. There are trees on my street though?

Please can I join. I have a 12 year old having a very tough time. Suicide threats. Major anxiety. Lashing out etc. Finally started counselling after a six month wait and finding it tough

Hello wolf 💐😘

Hello werewolfcub I was about to post but saw yours. It sounds like a really tough time. I am so sorry to hear about all that.

Mine sounds a bit minor in comparison. Taken DD, 9 twice to the GP this week (GP wanted to see her twice) about headaches, sleepwalking and a foot that hurts since the summer. GP wants to see her again in a month, we have to keep diaries of all of these things, but clearly the GP thinks something up.
Lots of anxiety and then lots of snapping, crying, shouting, refusing to do stuff. Can't help feeling that it is all learned behaviour from me :( Utterly guiltridden. Can't talk to DH about it because he is stressed because latest job contract is ending at the end of the year. End of every day I want to cry at the mess I've made of the day.

Cag nice to see you
Sophy I understand what you mean, ds’s current issue are a response to an external stressor but i worry that the way he’s reacted and the anxiety is pure genetics.

It’s good news that the gp is takin him the situation seriously. Please don’t beat yourself up and do talk to dh, he needs to be involved however stressed he is and it may be that his stress is impacting dd and he will need to be aware of that

Welcome werewolf and Sophy
It's easy to blame ourselves but it takes more than just an anxious parent to make anxious kids.think about how much time they're actually with us-asleep,school etc
Takes up a big chunk of time really

If it's any consolation I was told when I had dd1(I've got 4 ranging 23-11 on Monday) if you don't feel guilty as a mum you aren't doing it right

Werewolf I find it very interesting that I've come across a number of anxious boys that rev up a notch as approach/enter puberty.starting wonder if add hormones in ramps things up?

Sending everyone a reminder that to see for our kids we have to care for ourselves first even just ten minutes hiding to ourselves count!!

See for ourselves? autocorrect playing games!CARE for ourselves

DS2 was hyper this afternoon, I think because I had to go shopping, so supper and bedtime were later than planned. Also, he isn't good at finding calming things to do when I'm not there.

Philomena hard when things are full on.my D's is start panic(literally) about back to school monday.been a very long afternoon
Lil zoo birthday first day back and she has teacher training so no school.i suspect it's going to be a very tough day try balance her excitement and right to get lots attention with the I meltdowns of ds

*inevitable meltdown

Welcome Werewolf . It is such a challenging age, and you are doing the right thing in seeking help. Hope things start getting better soon. Do you have other Dcs?

Welcome sophy, and I hope the gp will help you get to the bottom of dd's issues. Please don't be so hard on yourself. Guilt is a powerful thing but at the end of the day doesn't serve much purpose. Easier said than done, as I struggle with it too.

Zoo and Philomena looks like we three haven't had the best Saturday. I literally had one foot out the door and desperately wanted/needed to go for a walk by myself. But couldn't leave the Dcs alone. DH actually initiated it and I needed all my strength to stay calm. Finally settled...I hope.
Zoo...lil zoo's birthday is on Monday? I really hope things go smoothly. Fingers crossed

Sorry for late reply 🙈...Yes he has!, Especially with change..😕...He started secondary school in Sep and has done 'one' P.E lesson, as in secondary boys do P.E together and same with girls , where as in primary they done it together (actual class)
Also in secondary science is taught STEM (more technology) well absolutely meltdown..😰...I have to admit his school is great 👍 and are helping him and supporting him...I hoping they will refer him to CAMHS and finally something will be sorted...?

Viking yes lil zoo is 11 on Monday
Well clocks went back an hour in middle of night and my body clock decided 445 was morning.which whilst a nuisance means I'm feeling bit better mentally as I've struggled with getting up for a few days and this morning I'm awake and ready to get on it now(despite not being 6am I've a load wash on,cats fed and am about do some internet banking!!)

Hope everyone's Sundays aren't too stressful!

DS2 woke up at 3.42 and is ridiculously hyper. Any suggestions?

Just spotted you post Philomena
Sorry I didn't see it earlier.i tend try long walks,run around,cycling,trampoline anything that physical

Lil zoo birthday tom and first day back at school for ds(lil zoo has teacher training)
I feel sad she's not got me to herself as if we are lucky he will do 30 mins whilst we wait at school...I say if - he's got steadily more stressed about school all day and he's ramped up to grab throat gasp say can't breathe.susoect a long nights going to be ahead!

Sorry I missed all theses messages - I’ve stopped getting emails to tell me someone has posted. It’s great to see more people on here (although obviously not great that all our kids are anxious but glad to feel not alone and to have the support).

I hope school goes ok for anyone starting back tomorrow. Toothache completely gone here - tbh I think I may have been a bit harsh making her go to school with it. I assumed it was another ruse to try to get out of school but seeing the difference in her now I have to admit that she did have toothache! We did have a bit of a struggle today when she was coming up with all sorts of excuses not to leave the house but eventually got her out and it went well. I think she feels a real sense of achievement when things go well so she has been on good form the rest of the evening.

I hope you all manage to have a restful evening.

Happy birthday to lil Zoo for tomorrow!

zoo

Well, he was horrendous all day and I fought to keep him awake until 5.30pm. My aunt texted: "That's very early." I only tell her in the hope that she doesn't fucking ring when I'm trying to wind him down. Actually, I'd like to get him down for 5, as he'll be up for 5 anyway, but because of another food shop, that wasn't happening.