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Parents of anxious kids/ teens support thread

996 replies

Stilllivinginazoo · 29/09/2018 17:19

Hi
Welcome to parents of anxious/ teens thread.idea is to share tips and advice and listen and support each other on days things are getting tougher

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SmokeAndBone · 22/04/2019 16:31

stillivinginazoo thank you. I've read quite a lot of the thread and realised that most of the DCs here are younger than mine, but I'm sure lots of the advice will be valid.
I don't know what set DD off yesterday. She's obviously been bottling things up. I'm hoping that her being able to tell me how bad she feels is the first step to us getting her some help.

EustaciaVye · 22/04/2019 16:58

Welcome smokeandbone. I dont think it matters what age they are - the helplessness you feel when you cant 'fix' how they are feeling is the same for all of us.

Stilllivinginazoo · 22/04/2019 18:21

Totally agree eust and as a parent none of us want to see our children struggle and feel so powerless to just make it better

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EustaciaVye · 24/04/2019 08:56

So proud of dd. She had her meltdown about going back to school on Saturday so we spent Sunday and Monday working through it. She went in yesterday without tears or refusal Shock

Stilllivinginazoo · 24/04/2019 10:22

Starfor DD eust .that's brilliant!!

DS is melting pot today.the girls not be here/school run threw him today.i think his rigid thinking is becoming very pronounced and he can't cope any change anymoreSad
Was a jibbering wreck grab bit shopping on way back drop youngest and I struggled get him doing school work after breakfast as distraction
Think it's going to be a day to test my nerves today,then hopefully tomorrow will be bit easier
He's also fretting over wait call from.camhs to book next app as o.t was on hol last week....

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Stilllivinginazoo · 26/04/2019 09:38

Camhs have set app for next Tuesdayand after quick catch up on how he's been have decided it's time to put together paperwork to have him assessed for asd

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Bigbus · 28/04/2019 23:38

Sorry I’ve been AWOL. We had reached a kind of brick wall really where DD1 can control her anxiety about vomiting by keeping to the four hour eating rule and it felt a bit disheartening- like maybe were just going to be stuck like this forever but then some tiny progress this week - she has been drinking more water through the day (I think it is because I threatened her with a blood test to check her kidneys!). However, tonight was a massive meltdown about revision (including throwing a book at me!). I kept my cool though and remained kind and calm - so I’m also making some progress!

Zoo that’s great news about the assessment. It’s beyond me how they could let it get this far but hopefully things will move quicker from here on.

Stilllivinginazoo · 29/04/2019 06:06

bigbus little steps forward are better than nothing.otjer than revision meltdown has she been coping ok with school?

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EustaciaVye · 29/04/2019 17:39

Big bus- we must be living a parallel life. Dd has made a few strides but has started having unbelieavable meltdowns about schoolwork. I think they can only contain so much emotion tbh. Like a pressure cooker. It must be exhausting

Iambuffy · 29/04/2019 18:07

Hello.

Hope you dont mind me dipping in my toe...ds2 is only 10 but has been suffering from anxiety/panic attacks for some time.

Until he was 4 he was a happy go lucky little boy.

From summer 2013 lots of back history: multiple family bereavements, my ill health, his ill health...operations....

He was finally dx with abdominal migraine and gerd 2 years ago and put on meds but he still had panic attacks, albeit with no vomiting.

Took him back to paed last summer and he took him off all meds and said it was anxiety (we agree).

He is also now under a nutritionist after a bad summer with one off vomiting episodes which the gp thought was coeliac but it turned out were caused by ice cream!

The paed discharged him.

He is now still under the nutritionist as he had bad candida.
This is being treated.

A couple of weeks ago, he had what I can only descirbe as a full on panic attack :( it was awful.
Over a minor issue at school. Really minor. Teachers very concerned. They suggested cahms.

Saw gp who said cahms could/would be a years wait.

He starts secondary in 18 months, we cant wait so we are seeing a cbt therapist from next week.

I wondered if any of you have used cbt with your kids?

Ds2 had 4 sessions of bereavement counselling and 6 sessions of 1 to 1 play therapy which seemed to help at the time, but obv I was wrong.

Nothing I've done has helped him.

Any thoughts or advice?

Thank you x

Iambuffy · 29/04/2019 18:07

There were paragraphs in that when I typed it!

Stilllivinginazoo · 29/04/2019 18:26

lambuffy welcome.
We are all open to idea sharing,people dip in and out during tough parts.a few hang around more.its entirely up to you

It sounds like things have been very hard
One thing I've learned from this thread is the start of secondary is the start point for many surges in anxiety so I think it's very wise to step in now and try and find outside help before you reach that point in his life

The thing with CBT is it needs using AFTER the problem seems solved,so you kind of need to keep working at it so it's the go to response during stress not back to the default(longer remembered by the brain/habit formed)response

I say this to everyone.donf blame yourself
And make time even if it's just a few minutes to help keep your own needs met.we can't be caring for everyone else if we don't care for ourselvesFlowers
Do you have much RL support?

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Iambuffy · 29/04/2019 19:25

Hi.
Thank you.
IRL Dh is onboard. My mum and pils are understanding (my mum suffered with panic attacks anxiety in my youth).
Ds1 is just starting his gcses and dh is away with work again next week so I'm in "battening down the hatches mode atm!
When dad died, then mum had her heart attack the same day I was obv away from the house a lot.
I would often get calls in the early hours and have to go to the hospital.
Then I helped nursing my terminally ill aunt and was again out of the house a lot.
At the time it seemed the toght thing to do, and both DC were with DH or pils but....
Then I got ill and have to have emergency surgery :(
The last 5/6 years have been pretty grim tbh
Hard to cope with when you are 4 :(

Stilllivinginazoo · 29/04/2019 19:50

Oh my goodness.that sounds like a very hard time in all of your lives lambuffy

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Stilllivinginazoo · 29/04/2019 19:51

We only have 9 posts left so I'm starting a new thread
If I can work out how to link it(not very technologically minded) I will,if anyone else can link
Feel free to do so

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Stilllivinginazoo · 29/04/2019 20:00

parents of anxious kids/teens support thread part 2

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Stilllivinginazoo · 29/04/2019 20:02

Well that failed,I try again...

parents if anxious kids/teens support thread (part 2)

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Stilllivinginazoo · 29/04/2019 20:04

Ok,last try
parents of anxious kids and teen support thread(part 2)

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Stilllivinginazoo · 29/04/2019 20:05

Four posts left please join new thread.if you can link it please do!!

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Roxie55 · 26/05/2020 20:51

Did you ever start a new thread?

1hopforward2back · 27/05/2020 14:29

We are over here if you want to join us.

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