Driving away

[Pumble]

I don't know where to post this and don't know what to do. I'm sitting here crying again with my 5 week old dd2 and just know that the best thing I could do for both of my girls is to get in the car and drive. If dd2 ever goes to sleep that is what I must do. I won't be leaving them alone and it will break my heart but it's what will be best for them. They deserve so much better than the useless failure of a mother they have.

I don't know why I'm posting this. I guess to feel less alone

I had a PTSD type reaction to the birth of my DD. It was a terrible time. I remember hardly anything and I was so anxious all the time.

Antidepressants REALLY HELPED. I can't emphasise that enough. One day I just woke up feeling like myself. Still knackered and overwhelmed but not full of gut wrenching fear that I couldn't cope.

You'll start feeling better too, in a few weeks. I promise.

I forgot to add re nipple shields;

DS had colic, tongue tie, and reflux so we used nipple shields too - when I needed to wean him off them, I'd start the feed with the shield on, then take it off once he was feeding well and relatch him (or at least try! It didn't work every time).

Just catching up from today-well blooming done you!!! Don't read all the side effects-chances are you won't experience a single one, just get established on them first (takes at least 2 weeks usually) you will be absolutely fine with wine too .
When you say your supply is ridiculous-do you mean huge letdown? I ended up expressing the first 50 mls or so because DD was literally drowning trying to latch on-like you this was masked by the shields.
You really are quite marvellous btw we're all here for the duration with you.

Waffle away, as much as you need to and then a bit more for luck. It will help - writing it down and talking about it will help.

I used to wipe myself out taking my dc's out every morning, I was horrible and exhausted by lunchtime and lost too much weight with the effort of it all. I've just spend 2 weeks at home doing nothing at all - we've all had a lovely rest, the dc's have all played really nicely together and we all really needed it.
So make sure you get a lovely day off tomorrow after going out today.

Good night Pumble and pumbletts.

Pumbletts, that's so sweet.

Oh love, I've only just seen your thread, it's a roller coaster reading it!

What is perfectly clear is that you are a wonderful Mum who is so incredibly sleep deprived it's no wonder you're struggling!!

You have no idea how common this is, I can see a couple of posters posting on your thread who had to be scraped up off the floor too :) Having a baby can mess your hormones up so very much - it's very unfair. But the good news is, you have something that will hopefully put that straight quickly!

Have you thought about asking your Mum to come and stay for a few days? You should tell her, but I understand if you don't want to, you could just say that you could do with the company and DD1 really needs her to come and play and go to the park etc as she's finding it hard not being the only one (a little white lie wont hurt!).

DHPumb - you sound lovely and I'm so glad you now know what's going on!!

Please keep your 'positive' posts and read them when you start to feel like it's dragging you down - though hopefully the AD's will kick in soon and you wont feel that way x

Bloody shame you are in Bucks - if you were near me I'd love to come and chat, cuddle DD2 and take DD2 to the park and stuff... do you fancy moving??

I did take a tablet last night . I figure I've got to at least give them a go.

Amazingly, dd2 didn't scream all last night so we all actually got some sleep and getting up for feeds is much easier when there have hours of crying afterwards! It feels amazing to have had some sleep.

Today is another day and we are all ok. Neither of the girls are dressed but they are fed, watered and seemingly happy!

I'm working on one hour at a time at the moment but that's ok isnt it?

I'd love to get my mum up but she works in a school so can't take time off and lives over two hours away so can't pop in. We are desperately trying to work out how to move nearer!

Yes, huge let down. When you expressed before each feed-was this just before dc latched on? And what did you do when out and about andfanjo ?

The power of sleeeeeep, beautiful undisturbed sleep.

One hour at a time sounds a good way to go. No rush to get DDs dressed, sounds very harmonious.

Waves at Pumble!

So pleased to hear you sounding a bit happier. And even more delighted that you had some sleep.

It really doesn't matter if your DDs don't get dressed at all - it's such a vile day here I'm not long out of my dressing gown (& probably only cos I know someone is calling in later!).

One hour at a time sounds fantastic to me - it's the way to go!

Big hugs. xxx

morning, ive been watching this thread but not been ablet o find the words of support pumble needs, but i have been thinking about what to say. like the others i pleased you are now beginning to see the small light at the end of the tunnel, its easy for us to say it gets easier and u need to do X,Y,Z... but its finding the strength in yourself to do whats best for the pumbletts and mr pumble!!!(i keep wanting to yp

sorry it posted midpost.....

i just been wondering are you stressing at night time when trying to settle dd2? wonder can she sense it and that makes her more fractious? perhaps u could ask a family member to come stay over and look after her while u get a few hourssleep i nthe day time. or express your milk and bottle feed at night perhaps, plus this will stop u getting engorged!!!

i will continue to watch this thread. all the best mrs pumble!!! :O)

Good luck pumble, sertraline helped me no end, bit of nausea but that passed after 2 weeks and the feeling of being a tiny bit in control is brilliant.

I did 1 hour at a time too and can highly recommend that strategy!

Good luck lovely lady you are doing great

Hello everyone, I've just stumbled across this thread and wanted to say thank you as reading it has finally given me the push I needed to go to the gp. I could have written most of pumble's posts word for word, except my DS is just over a year now. I'm determined to get better, I dont want to feel like this anymore. pumble, we can do this!

Good luck, Crimebusterofthesea.

Pumble, go one minute at a time if you need to!
Crime, glad you found the oomph to see your GP & hope you feel better soon. You're not alone either.

crime I'm so pleased this has helped you too. I certainly wouldn't have got to the GP without these lovely ladies. I'm wishing you lots of luck.

The pumbletts and I are doing ok and the smaller seems much more settled today which I'm making the most of. It's so good to have less crying from us all. The HV phoned back and is coming on monday afternoon.

How's your week going mrshelsbels

Saw the HV today & she's recommended a few ideas for things to do.

Am very pleased with myself as we've been out every day this week so far. DS1 has gone to grandma's this afternoon & is at nursery tomorrow & Friday so it's a bit more peaceful although DS2 is doing his best to destroy that

Am going to a Pilates class tonight & looking forward to that. Am making steps to getting rid of the post baby bulges. Little steps & all that.

Oh sounds like we have the same boobs Pumbs
Yes I expressed before each feed-a certain amount, if out and about I'd express before we left and/or express into a pile of tissues and dump enough so she could feed without seeming about to drown ! Took a few hundred goes to perfect it all but it does happen. X

Sorry-forgot to add, yes when I felt she was getting near to feed time or boobs were about to unceremoniously explode I 'd express then, and toddle off to convince her to feed.

So lovely to read your positive posts from the past 24 hours.

I'm truly honoured that you and DH like 'Pumbletts'

I'd be round for tea like a shot if I didn't live in Wiltshire...

You're doing so well. Keep going.

Glad you had some sleep. It makes such a difference. You are doing brilliantly.