Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Mental health

Mumsnet hasn't checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you have medical concerns, please seek medical attention.

Original poster

Driving away

999 replies

Pumble · 28/12/2012 00:52

I don't know where to post this and don't know what to do. I'm sitting here crying again with my 5 week old dd2 and just know that the best thing I could do for both of my girls is to get in the car and drive. If dd2 ever goes to sleep that is what I must do. I won't be leaving them alone and it will break my heart but it's what will be best for them. They deserve so much better than the useless failure of a mother they have.

I don't know why I'm posting this. I guess to feel less alone

OP posts:
CatPussRoastingOnAnOpenFire · 08/01/2013 11:44

Pumble, I am once again shedding tears for you! I am so pleased that you finally bit the bullet! Im sure things will get better now!
Next step: get DD2 thoroughly checked over. Get them to look for reflux, colic, tongue tie and anything else they can think of.
Am sending a big hug for you and one for your DH too. You are a proper pair of troopers! Carry on carrying on. You will feel better. xxxx

TanteRose · 08/01/2013 11:51

Grin Grin

phew

great news about the longer appointment on Thursday - we will be with you then too, never fear Grin

AlienananaReflux · 08/01/2013 11:57

So so glad you went pumble and that you have the support of your DH, you will be just fine you know.
Then in 6 months, when a woman comes on with a post like yours, you can join the chorus of 'I've so been there'!!

massive well done, for being so brave, and the best Mum you can be.
l

spiderlight · 08/01/2013 12:03

Well done!

The ADs won't kick in straight away - it takes about two weeks for them to build up in your system. They mioght make you feel a bit groggy/anxious/generally yack for the first couple of doses as well, but stick with them because they'll probably make a big, big difference once they start working.

GrannyRatOnAScooter · 08/01/2013 12:12

Wow! Pumble you are stronger than you think. That took enormous strength to go to your GP and wait for so long, then explain your feelings. I'm super proud of you!

Take each hour, each day, one by one and keep talking to your DH and us. We all want to help.

I wish I was in Bucks as i'd love to offer some practical help.

Keep going x

R2PeePoo · 08/01/2013 12:47

Well done Pumble! That was an amazingly strong and brave thing you did today!

Not taking tiny steps anymore!

Buddhastic · 08/01/2013 12:52

Well done x

LoopsInHoops · 08/01/2013 12:53

:) Well done :)

fiverabbits · 08/01/2013 13:12

PUMBLE

My electric went off this morning for repairs but the first thing I have done now it's come back on is to see if there was any news from you. So glad to hear that you have been to the doctors,please give your girls a hug from me there is nothing better than hugging your children. Perhaps you should give your DH a hug to, I think he deserves one as well, best wishes.

Jollyb · 08/01/2013 14:53

Well done pumble so glad you've made it to the doctors. Not an easy task with 2 children even without PND.

Greenkit · 08/01/2013 15:11

Pumble, I have been thinking of you all day, your the reason I started posting on mumsnet, I have been lurking for ages :)

I am so pleased you got to the Dr's, see that light at the end of the tunnel, it just got a whole lot bigger. xxx

Have a massive well done you hug ((((((((Pumble)))))))))

NewYearNewNN · 08/01/2013 17:15

Well done Pumble (and Mr Pumble and the Pumbletts)!!

Will be holding your hand on Thursday and any other time you need it.

magimedi88 · 08/01/2013 19:56

Still here & checking in, Pumble.

xxxxx

hellhasnofurylikeahungrywoman · 08/01/2013 20:06

Oh Pumble well done. I know how much strength it took to stay at the docs, hopefully the tablets will help you very quickly. You are one brave woman.

TiddlyOmPomPom · 08/01/2013 21:03

I'm so proud of you for staying to see the Doc and getting your prescription, I hope that isn't a weird thing to say! It took serious balls (ovaries? Wink) to stick it out, well done.

My offer I pm'd you still stands, anytime, just shout. Brew xx

Original poster
Pumble · 08/01/2013 21:24

Firstly can I just say how much dh and I love the term 'pumbletts' and they shall hence forth be known as that in our house! Smile

In many ways, you are right, I do feel some sense of control but I did have a bit of a meltdown this afternoon when I was not managing to comfort or settle dd2 again. He was really good, despite me snapping at him and we got through it. DH took dd1 out for a walk after her tea as usual and I gave dd2 a bath with no one else around and no dd2 trying to climb in to 'paddle'... It was fantastic to spend some time like that with her and for the first time I really saw her smiling at me as opposed to others which was unbelievably special and just what I needed today. As I imagine happens with all children after the first, I feel we haven't had a lot of time just the two of us like that and so it really was wonderful (even if it was only a five minute bath).

The GP told me to phone my HV when I got home and tell them that she had said they needed to come and see me today to get the ball rolling on them supporting me. Remarkably (with a bit of help from dh) I did manage to phone them, but as we both feared nobody came or rang to arrange coming - what a surprise. The doctor also said that I needed to have company over the next few days but I am not ready to tell my friends yet so am hoping that dh will be able to work from home or take some time off. Unfortunately being me I am already telling DH that he doesn't have to stay at home tomorrow as I'm sure I'll be fine.... She also suggested I stop trying to do everything, and trying to take the 'pumbletts' out lots and instead just stay at home and take things easily, including trying to get some sleep!

I also had a moment of clarity when feeding dd2 this evening. I have been on nipple shields for a few weeks due to initial issues but am trying to come off them. By not using them this evening it was clear how ridiculous my flow is meaning dd2 is struggling quite a bit (something the shields seem to disguise) so it is possible that this is not helping her being unsettled. I am seeing somebody on Friday about ditching the shields for good so hopefully they might be able to help and look into this with me too. I don't know if it will make life any easier but it's surely got to be worth a shot looking into it. She is also a tongue tie specialist so hopefully she can check that really carefully too.

Well, I seem to have been waffling on a lot there -sorry. I know I keep saying it but thank you, thank you, thank you for continuing to be here - it's really helping keep me going. You are all fabulous.

OP posts:
Original poster
Pumble · 08/01/2013 21:25

Thank you tiddlyompompom - I may well take you up on it when I feel a little stronger and calmer. Smile

OP posts:
Greenkit · 08/01/2013 21:41

Pumble, you don't need to tell your friends, just invite people round for a cup of tea and a chat. :)

Original poster
Pumble · 08/01/2013 21:43

I was prescribed sertraline. I have just read the leaflet with it... is there anything that isn't a possible side effect? I have yet to take one as that list does scare me a little...

Does anyone know if I can have the odd glass of wine on them?

OP posts:
ImNotCute · 08/01/2013 21:50

Hi, only just seen your thread- well done on getting some treatment sorted. I've been on sertraline a couple of years and not really noticed any side effects myself. They have to go into huge detail in the leaflet so it can be offputting, but you may get none of them.

I don't think wine with them is an issue, I certainly have the odd glass.

Fingers crossed they'll kick in soon for you. Don't be afraid to go back for a different AD or higher dose of sertraline if not.

TiddlyOmPomPom · 08/01/2013 22:08

Please take one now Pumble, it's medication, it needs to get in to start working!

Try not to worry about the side effects - your doc wouldn't have prescribed it if there were a significant risk for you. If it turns out it doesn't suit you, you can switch to a different one.
I'm on Paroxetine, had a bit of nausea at first and am always yawning (weird side effect), but that pales in comparison to the constant crying and self criticism I had before ADs (plus I've stopped ripping DHs head off every three seconds).

Can Mr Pumble chase the HV up for you tomorrow?

almondfinger · 08/01/2013 22:11

What a great thread, what wonderfully supportive people are on mumsnet and what a strong woman you are Pumble. Since that start of the thread you have come on in leaps and bounds and that's without even starting the meds. You sound like a wonderful little family and I hope you feel better soon.

I too had something in my eye at the end of my reading it!

My SIL had DD2 last Jan, a troublesome pregnancy, a difficult post natal period in hospital and then dd2 had colic. She told me she wanted to walk out everyday. I looked after dn for 2 hours so she could have a bit of time off and I was drained by the end of it, nothing stopped the crying for long. She took the meds for a couple of months until the colic ended and she felt better and has never looked back.

She is a brilliant mother and loves her two girls just like you.

Take care of yourself and shag the perfection for a while.

magimedi88 · 08/01/2013 22:12

Odd glass of wine = no problems.

I know nothing re nipple shields - so you need some advice there.

But in your post you sound so much more positive and in control of things - I am so happy for you.

xxx

LittleBearPad · 08/01/2013 22:15

Hi Lovely, I'm so pleased you went to the doctors today. Well done. I was prescribed sertraline and took them with really no side effects. I agree the list in the packet is scary but most leaflets like that are the same. I have drunk wine etc since I've been on the ADs. It's been fine.
Big hug.

FriedSprout · 08/01/2013 22:18

Sertraline made me a little queasy, but only for the first week or so.

Certainly never had a problem drinking wine either Grin

So pleased you saw the GP.

Hope you have a good night