Cybergarden: Spring into Summer

[Upwardandonward]

Here's a new thread for us.

Had forgotten - many thanks for the (not had one today). Such a beautiful day here, hope you can get out for a while upward.

Just waving and hoping the visit went off OK , 8upward* , if you felt able to allow it , and to send healing thoughts to us all

Hipe welding will be done soon , shodatin < and that Nilgiri is ablre to have some time outdoors

right , see you later , lovely people

I hope everyone has a lovely time hob

Thanks for good wishes and positive ideas, upward and hob, feel better knowing people want to help. while not wanting to phone friends (probably upward feels same). Hope visit went well, upward, if indeed it's happened.

Thankfully they stuck to a call, and I yes and no'ed at the right times.

I don't know quite what I can do on Monday - haven't dared go out today, and could barely face the buses on Friday, let alone now :( But day hosp and consultant will be expecting me to be there.

Well three cheers you only had to deal with a call, and you seem to have said all the right things, but am uncertain why thought of going out on Monday is so difficult? Are you feeling stressed at thought of getting yourself to hospital? MH Team must be used to people feeling like this, and am sure they'd accompany you if required. Actually, I couldn't face buses either, having to stand and sit alternatively, which is just a nuisance.
Shame you couldn't go out today, as weather was beautiful, and I gather it's due to continue a few days.

It's probably too late to send good wishes, hob, but hope your MiL enjoys her birthday, and it's not too tiring for you and DH at the end of the week.

Too many people I don't know around on the buses (even the sounds of the neighbours has been hard today). Day services don't feel safe either.
If I don't go I'll have to tell them. I haven't taken the meds yet either.
I'll see if I can go out tomorrow.

I'm sorry you get that with buses shodatin - they are useful.

Upward, it's a shame you don't feel confident enough to use the buses, but do you use a taxi service? There is a local charity here which has vetted, volunteer drivers, plus travelling is about half regular taxi fee, so I'm usually happy to use them (Need 2 days' notice, which is unfortunate this time).
Am sure day services are safe actually; the large number of doctors , nurses and psychiatrists mean they'd soon realise if the wrong people turned up, and deal with them, so am sure it would be OK.
Please do take the meds upward, we want you to feel well again, and not upset about something like neighbour noise (although this can be very loud of course). You will probably feel better for the meds too, as at least one consultant must have decided that the present drugs could be helpful - you'll never know if you don't take them!

Hope you're OK upward, and that the neighbour noise is not too disturbing. Also hope you've been brave again and taken the prescription (although you must be thoroughly fedup with them, I know I am).
Will be making way to bed soon, but hope that maybe one of the other cybergardeners will drop in, if not too late - we're usually first to go to bed, aren't we?

Hope you have a good, relaxing sleep, and wake up feeling better. Night.

Hi good people - sorry later than I'd expected
Thank you for all your work keeping thread busy all day

So sorry going out is filling you with dread , upward , and hope you can manage a very gentle foray out tomorrow... please take the greatest care of yourself . I would be very relieved if you felt you could ask the support of a friend for such an effort , or just during such a tough time - I hear you shodatin on not liking to trouble anyone , but this is the time to ask for help & comfort , if possible
Am very concerned at how worried you must be about the medication to not have taken it - it could help you , & you wanted to try to take it ... hugs

Brilliant advoice as always , shodatin , an greatly hopinge you feel better tomorrow
Had lovely visit , thank you .. took my Mum to nearby town to a museum in a c16th building which closed down about 15years ago & has been renovated a if in secret ,& reopened... Dh and I used to walk round it and wonder if we'd dreamt te whole thing ! Was magical to see it again

Have been thinking of you all & sending positive thoughts all day
Many tasks to catch up with after all this gallivanting
Peaceful night - soothing herbals

Sorry for typos -"as if in secret2" < puts pot of choc out for Nilgiri >

Hope madmouse is finding fewer infuriating hitches in the housemoving process , and stomach trouble is starting to ease

Sorry for typos -"as if in secret2" < puts pot of choc out for Nilgiri >

Hope madmouse is finding fewer infuriating hitches in the housemoving process , and stomach trouble is starting to ease

Hello hob, am all to pot on timing tonight, having just remembered one little thing I wanted to do...
Apologies for mixing up your Mums, and glad you had a
good time - museum sounds wonderful, and what a surprise. What was the original function of the old building, do you know?
Thanks for earlier s, am on warm lemon in water just now, and yes, feeling better thanks.

Very good point re dial a ride type services, thanks shodatin. I hope you continue to feel better. I'm glad you had a nice time hob, I think I may just be waiting for Monday now :s

Take care all today

Morning all Thank you for s ,upward Thank you , outing was a great fun and I was wishing the cybergardeners were with us toot

We are so, so glad you can be honest on here about not feeling safe , meds etc. Sorry if you feel you're stuck waiting ...I am probably getting it totally wrong here , but by that do you mean that you're dreading helpful people , travel etc tomorrow or that you're dreading them , but might you feel any better if others took over helping with choices , worry of feeling safe etc for a few days ? I know you really want to be at home but you might feel safer at hospital , even if day hospital doesn't feel safe at the moment ? Many apologies if that's not at all how you feel

Here's to as quiet a day as possible for us all xxx
< HF comes to visit upward and spend a busy morning hunting ( and catching ) her tail >

I'm dreading tomorrow - still can't go out on the bus, and they will be cross if I don't go. I don't see what help they can offer as I can't be in hospital, but can't really say that. :( thanks for HF's attention though.

I hope you have a good day too, I just don't know what to do any more.

Many thanks for the s upward, I see you remembered to change the clocks last night - I've just got up.
Hospital will no doubt be cross if you don't turn up, but not if you phone them and say you can't face the journey.
Like hob, I'm uncertain why it's such a problem, and why you can't be in hospital, as actually, you were doing well last time you were there, apart from it being boring and a nuisance away from home etc, at least you got through the med changeover, but don't seem to have managed the present one while being alone. (Am assuming you've still not managed to take current meds?) Life could well look different with different drugs, and I do hope you'll have another think about tomorrow.

Morning, shodatin - I really like your advice there . < forgot about clocks and scrambling to catch up >
Upset tot hink you feel so very stuck , upward . If it was me , I'd be worried about the bus and day hospital due to anxety attacks- is that it ? I get the impression , though , that the voices are making you feel unsafe? that trying to cope with them is taking up your energy ?

I know they'll be worried for you if you don't go in tomorrow , biut if I were you , I would ask for help to take the medication as I tihnk that's what will help you . Are you worried about serious side effects or are your symptoms making yu feel it is unsafe to take them ? Are you having those awful experiences you had befrore when trying to take dose , almost like a flashback ?

Also , the support of a worker /advocates in your mh groups ... do any of the people at day hospital have such support ? I mentioned your good work on the thread here for the poster who is currently under section , as the workers advocating for her have been her lifeline & I sem to remember you supporting that ... hopefully you'll also feel that your staff are "on your side" ... but you need someone who understands how oppressive the long process of finding successful treatment is being for you

Have to say I agree with hob, upward, and asking for help in getting to hospital/taking tablets seems the way forward, and it would no doubt be easier if you had someone nearby who could help you to do this. I'm sure one of your family would be happy to help, if they just knew how you're feeling.
I do wish you'd try the new drugs, as they could make you feel so much better. Take care.

I wish tomorrow was a choice about going in or not - I'd go. It doesn't feel safe anywhere really, but round other people feels worse. I could do with getting food at some point, have to do an online order tomorrow I think :(

I'm sorry, it's hard to explain and say about the voices.

Oh upward , thank you for trying to explain and of course there's no need to apologise about difficulty in describing what must be a very disorientating & distressing experience

Sorry couldn'yt check back before

Thank you so much for explaaining what worsens the sense of lack of safety ... we really neeed to help you access the treatment that should eventually help you with these horrible feelings

Am very concerned that you can't ask someone to shop for you when feeling so bad - is there no one you feel you can ask ? Sorry , not my business, but was thinking you have helpers for personal care, but perhaps not shopping etc ? I'm sure shodatin would urge you not to be shy of asking a friend , as you will feel more disorientated without a bit of protein and comforting carbohydrate

What we will ask you abut is whether you have some food now , suitable for meals , that you can manage to assemble ? If not , we will have to see if there are any ways of getting what you need .< HF packs rucksack >

Sorry you're feeling like that upward, because you are actually very safe at the hospital, and the voices are best ignored as what they're telling you is often wrong.
I won't say any more on the subject as can understand why you don't want to discuss it.
I still think that the way forward is to take the medication, then work out the best way of getting to the hospital. The easiest way would be to ask the MH team to arrange transport, just tell them you're feeling too stressed to manage it, and I'm sure they'll get you there without the stress of busses. I think that if you just don't turn up, someone's liable to flap about it, and next time (if there is one), you probably won't get the option of being at home.
Hob's right about the benefits of food - have just eaten half a tin of beans, although have a freezer full of more interesting stuff and plan to get at it tomorrow. Don't you have something like that? Really quick and simple but adequate for one day?
You're really lucky to have presence of HF, particularly in tail-chasing mode. Do you think you might be well enough to have a cat, when you've got this present health problem sorted? Just an idea.
Am off to bed again, but back soon, and really hope you'll give the tablets a try.

Online shopping is ok - I do have some frozen and tinned food.

I am going to try to take meds and go tomorrow. Thanks hob and shodatin. I don't think i'm up to pets.

Hope shodatin got some refreshing sleep and everyone's having a good day.

They asked about the tablets and about tomorrow, and if it was the voices. I couldn't face another call later today.

Just a bit of a nap, thanks upward, but good anyway. Hope you've managed to take meds - I know we nag, but it's only because we care what's happening to you and it must be so difficult for you at present. Can quite understand about not being well enough for pets, but maybe when things stabilise? Some cats are very independant, and don't need exercise like most dogs.
Still, we're lucky we have hob to very generously share HF and ndt with all their adventures - time one of them got the time machine fired up again, isn't it?