snowmash's cybergarden

[ThisIsANiceCage]

We filled up your thread, snowmash! So here's another one.

Neither weather nor circumstance seems to be cooperating at the moment, so I thought we could do with a virtual garden to sit out in.

shodatin has started work already:
"we don't lose anything to the frost here, and nobody thieves our daffs and precious bay trees. Most days will be sunny I think, but sometimes we have rain at night, particularly when we've done some planting..."

And I think it needs a summer house with a chiminea or the like to sit round after dark and toast our tootsies.

It's the decision that hob said at 10:16.

Choose to take stuff that will hurt me/that I don't need, or have that choice made for me and lose my very minimal liberty. Until i see the meds I know I must take them. Then I feel fear transcending the fear of MHA and sectioning so keep failing :(

snowmash you are not failing - you are fighting and struggling. It's progress that you know you need to take the meds until you see them. The last minute stepping out when you see them is not abnormal at all. The frustrating nature of psychosis is not seeing that you need the meds to stop the psychosis.

(((hug)))

I'm still not compos mentis today, can only give buckets of sympathy.

Any improvements yet snowmash?
Today I bought some stuff to add hotwater, stir and serve in same mug, one Mugshot (cheese pasta), 2 Oats-so-simple Original plain, 2 Nakd snack bars (Apple, Berry) and Ainsley Harriot Wild Mushroom Soup in mug (4) (which I use at home and gourmet sister assumed was home-made) All plainest varieties as I don't know your taste, all require only hot water, and all can be replaced as required. Painting set still here, just let me know who to send to, and at least you'll have something interesting to open, additional food supply.

I seem to have crossed again with delays here, sorry to be rabbitting about food when everyone else is discussing medicines.
Snowmash, you're saying the meds will hurt you and you don't need them, but these are not facts. You are the only person saying these things, and you are definitely mistaken, sorry to be blunt. The medicine you don't want to take will not hurt you, and you do need to take it in order to rejoin the rest of the world who are not sectioned.

I'm so sorry you're stuck there, and hope things change for you very soon.

I seem to have crossed again with delays here, sorry to be rabbitting about food when everyone else is discussing medicines.
Snowmash, you're saying the meds will hurt you and you don't need them, but these are not facts. You are the only person saying these things, and you are definitely mistaken, sorry to be blunt. The medicine you don't want to take will not hurt you, and you do need to take it in order to rejoin the rest of the world who are not sectioned.

I'm so sorry you're stuck there, and hope things change for you very soon.
(Message won't post, sorry about that too!)

Very sorry to see you feel scared , (((snowmash)))..
As madmouse says, you're making real progress and I 'm feeling excited about that ( sorry, that sounds rather strange). Very good sign though that you're talking through this painful dilemma.

Compulsion is not fair - obviously these matters are complex - but the drugs are not intended to to anything but help you . If side effects are very troublesome and / or you are afraid they are dangerous , I hope the nurses will monitor your physical health more closely.

I know "patients" have traditionally not been listened to and hope practice has greatly improved .

Those instant snacks sound very comforting ,shodatin ( that mushroom soup fuels DH's overtime ) and I hope snowmash can accept parcel /s when this next day or two are done with.

Thinking of you and all the excellent advice.

Get better soon TIANC

thank goodness for that madmouse !

Aha , sounds very demanding . You must have done some serious music study & practice . Will have to look at some worship music on Youtube before I ask any more questions - any recommendations? ( OK I promise not to ask q s , but would like to see this type of music in action ). Glad you're keeping up the rehearsals.

eeeeek, so many tasks still to do ...

Very impressed by madmouse who can sing "properly" and do long bike rides - am sure both are good-for-you.
Hope TIANC feels better soon, will get you a and some and hope they might work the usual magic.

Also hope snowmash is able to get some fresh air before too long, although the air outside here is still blowing a half gale, and fresher than desired. Do please let me send a few items; at least it would make me feel better.

well is my dream (and a very special song for me) - but we're not that good, this is Hillsong!!

is a staple in most churches (and easy for me to play on guitar)

Oh joy , madmouse ! Had a very irritating few hours where I also couldn't peek into the cybergarden , & when I do there's something fun waiting for me! Much appreciated - off for a view of them.

Thinking of you snowmash & hoping everyone's well.

Just wonder how long this will continue.

What's happening snowmash? Have you talked to anyone about being allowed outside yet?

Hi snowmash , as shodatin's wondering , have there been any breakthroughs towards improving your experience on the ward ? Really hope so . When you wonder how long this will continue, do you mean your conflict over taking all the medications , or the stay in hospital ?

madmouse - Those were just what I needed - very moved by the lyrics to Desert Song & I think Stuart Townend has a most beautiful musical & lyrical style . Will listen to both artists again .
Am a unitarian Quaker , so hear no music as a regular part of the Meeting, but we have the odd campfire style singalong when one of the Friends gets out their guitar (oh help) & occasionally someone shares a piece of music that moves them .

Oh I really need to be quiet... Oh no shodatin , you've got gales too . Hope RL gardens come through safely . Anyone snoozing by the stove in the summerhouse? Hope you get a decent night's sleep , TIANC
soothing herbal for all

Greetings to hob - I've been an Attender for about 15 years, and not many of us Friends about, what a lovely co-incidence.

Hope you have a peaceful night snowmash, and wake with a new view on things. Life must be so difficult for you.

Good night to everyone else - am worn out with excitement of buying and trialling new television so off to bed soon.

Been outside escorted for short while as nice staff on (technically still unescorted so low priority).

Took tablets - was a nurse who did much persuasion.

Now very worried, not just because of the meds but I've realised that the consultant asked all the questions they'd need to do a mental health act recommendation on Tuesday, hence the odd/hypothetical questions :( :( :(

Anyone got a screwdriver/tools.

Sorry, haven't caught up yet and still woozy.

But that you're , snowmash. What's a mental health recommendation?

I mean both, hob.

I look forward to listening to the music when I have proper Internet! Nice to be involved madmouse - something I really miss (going from 4 sung services a week to one with none).

Hope new tv and sleep are enjoyed, shodatin.

Tianc sleep well and rise refreshed!

Shodatin and hob, I have always wanted to go to meeting - 3 friends are Friends and we had a go at silence/business etc in my last uni's ecumenical Christian group thanks to them (miss ecumenism in that way).

Both meeting places in old and new cities have steps though ;)

Sleep well all!

A brief (hopefully vaguely correct) explanation:

Two doctors and an amhp (usually approved social worker) have to say that you have a mental disorder of nature or degree that requires treatment in hospital. Treatment must be necessary for your health, yours or orhers' safety, and it is such that it can only be received in hospital.

I think the two Drs agree nature/degree and treatment, and the amhp applies for your admission. That said, the doctors have to have seen you within five days of each other... Wonder if that's inclusive or exclusive?

(if its inclusive Saturday would be the last day another dr could see me).

I'm trying to say the recommendation is what the dr writes... So they'd say I was psychotic and needed treatment :( :( (then icouldny refuse and would be detained which can't happen).

Snowmash, you did the right thing taking the tablets, so please don't worry about them anymore. Am so very pleased you had the nice people on the ward today, and that you managed to get outside. This is a big step forward (and you were brave to take the meds while being worried about them.)

You'll be able to get to Meeting for Worship one of these days, I'm sure, and you'll most likely enjoy it too, well, I always have done, and it's a great strength just to remember being there.

Am not a great TV fan, but it was time to replace it before it did something loud and interesting, so I managed it today. 'Night again.

Ah, thanks for explaining that. So basically you wouldn't be voluntary any more if they did this?

And it's all stemming from the disagreement about taking the anti-psychotics?

Thanks for answer , snowmash ... contemplating both must be overwhelming, but once one of them is possible for you the other will surely follow....so many positive things will be able to happen then.

I think you hope , as I would in your position ,that time will cause this bout of illness to gradually leave you, but the doctors believe in research saying these drugs help you recover much more quickly , & lessen the chances / severity of future relapses . I have no scientific knowledge but the staff do feel this will help you , possibly hugely , & some believe they see the positive effects in their patients . Would a member of staff try to remember a positive experience to help you ?
Many apologies for patronising , stilted language - I know you're very well educated & I certainly am not !

I didn't realise you can't receive the whole internet on many phones as I've never had one ! sorry if have ( incompetently ) posted useless links

Four sung services a week sounds amazing . I can't imagine how you must be missing it. Seems a good moment to say a prayer or send positive thoughts for you & your progress & continued strength .

Oh no - have missed seeing many posts at a very difficult time for you. So sorry , will catch up.

I'd stop bring voluntary tianc, but have very tight restrictions St the mo anyway (if I try and leave they'll section me). :(

Disagreement about taking psych drugs in general