snowmash's cybergarden

[ThisIsANiceCage]

We filled up your thread, snowmash! So here's another one.

Neither weather nor circumstance seems to be cooperating at the moment, so I thought we could do with a virtual garden to sit out in.

shodatin has started work already:
"we don't lose anything to the frost here, and nobody thieves our daffs and precious bay trees. Most days will be sunny I think, but sometimes we have rain at night, particularly when we've done some planting..."

And I think it needs a summer house with a chiminea or the like to sit round after dark and toast our tootsies.

Oh no- that was incredibly brave of you to talk to 2 people in one day when you feel so stressed. It is amazing you managed that and I'm so sorry it's so hard for you to be heard. . Very hard for them to strike balance between being responsible by consistently maintaining / pointing out if they think you aren't well at the moment and yet still respecting your views & giving them full weight, which is a different thing & would perhaps not actually be fair to you yet .

Don't worry, you are as far as I can see entitled to advocacy if you want it, and please carry on to talk this over, as you are doing now . Do you need more info about the medication? Have you been given any leaflets , even just the manufacturer's ? sp ( they've been forced to be more truthful in those lately, as you know)
If you have talked over with staff the effects and side effects of the drug you're debating taking, then please consider whether you feel the info staff have given you does seems reasonable on the face of it but it's purely your worry about the staff's intent which is making you reject taking them - in which case , please keep listening to us, who want you to be safe

pixie talking good sense, snowmash xx

Please do take the tablets snowmash. If you feel more like yourself tomorrow, you'll realise the tablets are good for you and that the staff are trying to get you well. I'm certain-sure they are not trying to poison you, but can't think of any other way to prove it. Why not take them tonight as an experiment?

Yes pixie, because I'm evil.

I took my physical ones as several people take those. Luckily it was someone who applied gentle pressure rather than ordering me to take them.

Oh snowmash. We don't think you're evil.

One of the staff earlier said the depression makes me think I'm evil, but that doesn't make sense.

Are you feeling evil because once upon a time other people were evil to you?

That doesn't make you evil.

Have to say goodnight now, my eyes are crossing I'm so tired.
Hope you take the tablets and have a good sleep snowmash, then see how much better you'll feel in the morning. You're not evil, just depressed and we're all waiting for you to get better. Night all.

Agree with member of staff.

Depression made me feel like I was contaminating the earth even standing on it.

It was the illness. It lies.

Sleep well, shodatin.

How does it "not make sense"?

It's not very nice to accept that an illness - or anything about our bodies - can affect our thinking. But having seen the effects of alcohol, or a period, I'm forced to accept that it can.

Sorry, I'm sounding very curt. Just tired and not v eloquent, I'm not yelling at you.

Night shodatin. It really does make sense , what the staff member said and these ladies are telling you . People have experienced feelings and thoughts just like you're experiencing now , right through history. They've recovered their health and realised they weren't evil / someone else / saints (whatever their depression had been telling them) .

Hope you feel better after sleep, TIANC

Thanks Pixie, lovely. Done a little bit of RL weeding as excuse to be out in glorious sunshine. So glad to hear DD out and about.

Think I prefer stretching out on the your rugs on the cybergrass, hob.

Thanks hob, getting cheese-related second wind.

snowmash, did you manage to get outside at all today?

Night shodatin. You don't sound curt tianc, my sentences go like that when physically hard/tired.

Def for all

I went outside for a little

Excellent, , TIANC! I know just what you mean