What wording for invitations when asking for no plastic toy gifts?

[Nocommentisacomment]

My DD will be 5 soon and I’m planning a birthday party for around 15 children.

People have always been incredibly generous with gifts, which is lovely, but she really does have plenty already and I’m trying to reduce the amount of plastic in our lives as much as possible. I don't want more plastic toys that might only get played with once or end up being thrown away.

I can’t really ask for books either: my kids already have 300+ and we go to the library regularly (both DH and I read for a living, so our house is basically a library itself). There’s also a very good chance we’d end up with books she already has.

I could ask for a £5 donation towards something she really wants, but she gets so excited about receiving presents that I feel a bit bad about her having nothing to open.

I was thinking of putting something on the invitation along the lines of “no plastic toys, please”. I would be more than happy with second-hand wooden toys (Vinted etc.), craft things or similar. But I’m worried people might find this annoying or feel it’s an inconvenience.

What would you put on the invitation?

Nothing. Accept anything given to your child with grace. If it doesn’t turn out to be popular, donate.

You can’t dictate what people get as presents it comes off as spoilt I’m afraid

I think you either say no presents at all or say nothing and gratefully accept the gifts you receive. If people ask you what your child would like then give some ideas. I think I’d find it a bit rude to be told what I can and can’t buy. Also temu child likes to pick out the gift themselves when they can.

I’d probably say no presents on the invite. I think you’re making life too difficult for people otherwise. You can then get her things to open you know she will play with and doesn’t already have.

I would say "no gifts please".
Keeps it simple.

There's no way to do this without sounding rude. Best to just leave it and donate anything unwanted to a charity.

Don’t be precious.
No presents, please. It’s not difficult.

Yeah, you can't dictate what type of gifts people give. Just say no gifts please.

‘Your presence is her present - no need to bring a gift’

I don't think you can specify the type of present you want people to bring.

Either say no gifts please, or let people choose what to buy.

What does your DD enjoy playing with? Would she prefer a Barbie or Lego or something wooden from Vinted?

There really is no way of dictating what other people buy without sounding pretentious and ungrateful. Either say she doesn’t needs gifts or accept what’s given.

I live abroad and the way of doing things over hear is that each family attending the party will give the parents of the birthday child 5€ towards a present. That way the parents can pool the cash to get bigger presents and also get something they know is wanted and needed and I find this works well towards reducing the tat received.
But I'm not sure how that would go down with the group you have invited. Here standard procedure is to send photos of the presents bought and receipts in a WhatsApp group so the other parents can see that the cash has been allocated to presents and not hoarded by the parents or used to fund the party.

Exactly this.

You could try

“We really value sustainable living, and I know DD would be thrilled with secondhand toys”

Or

”DD is saving for a big trip to the toy shop so a pound in a card would be great if you’d like to give something”

Or

”We have set a family challenge to avoid buying plastic wherever possible, so DD would especially love wooden toys, books, or just a card if possible”

But somebody is always going to think you’re a killjoy and go ahead and buy large plastic crap, you can’t really control that. It does get easier as they get older and naturally want different things.

Agree either ask for no gifts or a small donation of of coins towards something DD is saving for.

You really cannot say no plastic gifts. Some parents buy kids party presents in advance or what they can afford and do not have the time, money or headspace to start thinking of alternatives.

IMO ethical choices are great but people shouldn’t make others’ lives more difficult or expensive to support their own ethical choices.

There’s no way to say this without sounding sanctimonious.

Plus what about stuff like Lego, playmobil etc which my dd loved at that age and gave her hours of imaginative play?

Let your dd have the gifts if she doesn’t play with them either gift on or donate to a charity shop.

She already has plenty.
I am not saying I don't have anyhing plastic I am saying I don't need anymore.

Apparently saying “please don’t buy my daughter plastic toys” is now an outrageous demand.

I’ve received specific requests for children’s birthday gifts before and somehow managed to survive the experience without feeling offended, inconvenienced or personally attacked. I simply bought something the child would actually enjoy and the parents were happy with.

It’s really strange to me that respecting someone’s wishes about what comes into their home is considered rude, but ignoring those wishes and buying them something they’ve explicitly said they don’t want is somehow the polite option.

But I suppose we must all continue buying plastic tat that nobody needs, then congratulate ourselves for being wonderfully generous while the parents quietly figure out what to do with it.

As birthday gifts at children's parties are usually fairly random and not always something the child would play with I never quite understand why getting a wooden toy that won't get played with is considered superior to getting a plastic toy that won't get played with.
Most wooden toys are mass produced in factories in China just the same that plastic ones are 🤔🤷

@Nocommentisacomment there's loads of fantastic quality toys out there that just happen to be made from plastic.
It's sad your child might miss the joy of Lego or Sylvanian Families - which are the two best toys in the world 😂

Well, the polite option, as many have suggested, would be to say no gifts thank you. You have no more right to tell people what to do with their own money than they do to say what you choose to keep in your home.

Because she doesn’t play with the plastic crap she gets anyway. If I found them useful, I wouldn’t care, but they aren’t. They just end up sitting around unused.

Please can I ask what jobs you do as reading for a living would be my dream!

Ask for no gifts. Pretty much everyone will bring one, but they usually bring craft kits as it’s something that will get used up.

Why ask for advice if you're just going to be rude about the replies?

I agree with the PP's who suggested just saying, no gifts please. That solves the problem without putting anyone's back up and allows you to reduce plastic tat (which I think is the goal) without making an ostentatious, performative display.