Page 19 | What wording for invitations when asking for no plastic toy gifts?

Absolutelynot2 · 02/09/2026 22:06

Nocommentisacomment · 02/09/2026 20:16

@QuietComet For us, for example, a colouring book, some seeds, or other non-plastic items would not be considered unnecessary junk.

I have mentioned before that, with our lifestyle (which isn’t me showing off, as some of you have suggested), we simply don’t rely on toys as much as others might. I understand that if you live in a flat and have one child, they might need more things to keep them entertained, but that’s not how our life is.

I was simply looking for ideas for different themes (like gardening, for example) that could include no plastic.

I have three children and I throw three birthday parties a year. That could easily mean around 50 gifts over the course of a year, many of which we potentially wouldn’t use. I don’t really see the point in asking parents to spend their money on things that we don’t need or use. If I say “no gifts”, as another poster already mentioned, people will still show up with something. I know I would.

And to the commenters who said, “Don’t have children if you want to be sustainable,” or questioned why I have three children: having three children doesn’t automatically make someone less sustainable than someone with one child. Population is one factor, but consumption and lifestyle are hugely important too. Your great-great-grandmother probably had eight children, but that doesn’t mean her family was automatically less sustainable than a modern family with one child.

But of course, for some posters, everything has to be taken to the extreme. I simply want to reduce the amount of plastic in our lives. I don’t really see why that means I now have to turn off my phone, reject every aspect of modern life and pretend the modern world doesn’t exist. Surely there is a middle ground.

Edited

My advice is - stop moaning. Stop being a drama queen. Stop trying to ruin your child's birthday. You've been told - you are being unreasonable. What you choose to do about that is up to you.

LiquoriceAllsorts2 · 02/09/2026 22:37

Nocommentisacomment · 02/09/2026 21:15

I got some very good suggestions here.

And yes, as you say, many others agree that we should reduce plastic, yet they also say they would get angry if the invitation said “no plastic.” You can call me thick if you want, but I’m not the one being confusing here.

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because you don’t get to dictate what someone else buys for you. If they want to reduce plastic then they probably will be buying something non plastic but that should be their choice. Mentioning presents is grabby.

Piglet89 · 02/09/2026 23:26

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SlothTigerMum · 02/09/2026 23:30

KarcherK5 · 31/08/2026 15:32

You could try

“We really value sustainable living, and I know DD would be thrilled with secondhand toys”

Or

”DD is saving for a big trip to the toy shop so a pound in a card would be great if you’d like to give something”

Or

”We have set a family challenge to avoid buying plastic wherever possible, so DD would especially love wooden toys, books, or just a card if possible”

But somebody is always going to think you’re a killjoy and go ahead and buy large plastic crap, you can’t really control that. It does get easier as they get older and naturally want different things.

Edited

Good, helpful suggestions

maxslice · 03/09/2026 00:15

OP, it isn’t that people in the comments care less about the earth than you do. Nor, that they embrace plastic and wallow in it. It’s that being the birthday party police is an insult to your guests and asking for money is extremely cringey behaviour. Entitled self-righteous holier than thou attitude is what people are objecting to.

Buffs · 03/09/2026 02:36

By all means send out your invitations, as you seem determined to do, listing your acceptable and unacceptable gifts. Do not say you weren’t warned when your community of school mums quietly give you a wide berth and roll their eyes at your crassness.

Absolutelynot2 · 03/09/2026 03:05

Buffs · 03/09/2026 02:36

By all means send out your invitations, as you seem determined to do, listing your acceptable and unacceptable gifts. Do not say you weren’t warned when your community of school mums quietly give you a wide berth and roll their eyes at your crassness.

Exactly this.

She'll be here in 6 months saying "School mums are so mean to me. All I did was instruct them that their gifts are unacceptable and I am a superior human being. I just don't understand why everyone avoids me!"

LiquoriceAllsorts2 · 03/09/2026 06:11

SlothTigerMum · 02/09/2026 23:30

Good, helpful suggestions

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Saying that they would be happy with second hand toys is putting a huge pressure on the parents - don’t do it.

you have to find something second hand that looks enough like second hand to be authentic but in great condition. You have to go out and buy it as the things you have at home and want to get rid of probably aren’t age appropriate.

eleventybillionpillsisntenough · 03/09/2026 06:52

JFDI and let us know how it goes 🍿

ByUniqueViper · 03/09/2026 07:34

I would never be rude enough to put this on the invitation. You should be grateful that someone has gone to the effort and expense to purchase a gift. Also your daughter is 5 years old so cant you just see the joy on her face when she opens her gifts. If she doesn’t play with them later down the line then donate them to charity or to a woman's refuge or similar so that another child can enjoy them. That way everyone remains happy.

ACynicalDad · 03/09/2026 07:39

We’ve ended up with h great gifts I never knew existed whixh we would n’t have found if we’dictated things. As for wording how about since I’m morally and intellectually superior to me please confirm the suitably of all gifts before purchasing.

WildFatball · 03/09/2026 08:06

You don't understand the nature of gifts or British cultural norms, and instead of taking advice about it you call it 'weird'. A gift is something that you take in from another person. A gift is as much about the giver as the recipient. If you can't take in something from someone else then the only approach is to be honest about that and say 'no gifts'. The consequence is that your dd is disappointed. And that's ok too.

Askingforafriendtoday · 03/09/2026 08:17

BringBackCatsEyes · 02/09/2026 21:47

Amazon - the bastion of eco-friendliness!

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Wondering if Stopsnowing was being funny, probably I think

BringBackCatsEyes · 03/09/2026 09:25

Askingforafriendtoday · 03/09/2026 08:17

Wondering if Stopsnowing was being funny, probably I think

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Yeah, I think so - I was just joining in.

Busybeemumm · 03/09/2026 10:19

Busybeemumm · 02/09/2026 07:43

Around where I am, it's often the 'living sustainably no plastic types' that have 3 plus kids!

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I have three children and I throw three birthday parties a year-OP

Can't believe I guessed right that the OP would have at least 3 kids!

justcallmemarywhitehouse · 03/09/2026 10:31

If you are this committed then I would suggest you do no presents and explain to your child why.

WhatHappenedToYourFurnitureCuz · 03/09/2026 10:50

having three children doesn’t automatically make someone less sustainable than someone with one child.

In a developed country yes, it pretty much does. The only way the one-child family would be less sustainable was if they were mega rich with a private jet used for frivolous journeys.

maudelovesharold · 03/09/2026 13:01

maudelovesharold · 02/09/2026 21:43

Amazing! It’s as though you have no knowledge of the nuances of cultural norms and social conventions…
It’s not about the plastic! You could say ‘no books, please’, no Barbies please’, no craft items, please’, ‘no gardening items, please’. It wouldn’t make any difference - it’s always going to come across as rude and entitled (and slightly unhinged) to specify any categories of gifts you don’t want, to people who haven’t asked. This is because it’s rude and entitled to assume that you’re going to get any gifts at all. How are you not understanding this ?

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After This is because it’s rude and entitled to assume that you’re going to get any gifts at all, I should have added ’even though you know you are’. That’s where the nuance comes in!

Northernlights19 · 03/09/2026 20:26

I honestly think the “I don’t have the money” excuse is often more about “I can’t be bothered.” You sound incredibly out of touch and lacking in kindness and empathy.

Many people I work with are in the same position as me. We work in a care home and are both cash poor and time poor. We will go without a few meals for our children to be able to attend parties etc because we don't want our children to feel as poor as we are. Then we see people like this who don't appreciate the expense and effort we've gone to because it's not enough for them.

Northernlights19 · 03/09/2026 20:29

And as much as you harp on about "craft/gardening/baking gifts are brilliant" something tells me the majority of the ones people select just won't be good enough for you, regardless of if your child likes them. You feel the need to feel superior to others, it's not a nice way to be.

Realworld10 · 03/09/2026 23:25

Life has changed from unwrapping a long for wanted present to piles of plastic crap DC continue to open but never to be used.

I've felt sad at the amount of gifts which have all been thoughtful about the newest character DC like but never used.

This is a whole new world of expectation for the photos, not that we do this and I wouldn't but DH goes over the top, personally and not for SM.

While it's nice to unwrap presents, always, I've found saying your big one is in your card. Tokens for anything, we all appreciate. So I will buy a couple of presents, something edible, sth else as a treat and tokens. Xx

Realworld10 · 03/09/2026 23:30

Sorry, as usual I went into a tangent.

Simply 'please no need for gifts, there will be no place for presents, just a card and attending is more than enough'

This will automatically translate to thank you from parents to slip a note into cards, which DC will be happy with! Xx

TheQueenOfEverything · 05/09/2026 04:21

It's a bit sad for a 5 year old to get no gifts at there party though 😕

SMDX3 · 05/09/2026 19:41

Nocommentisacomment · 31/08/2026 15:08

My DD will be 5 soon and I’m planning a birthday party for around 15 children.

People have always been incredibly generous with gifts, which is lovely, but she really does have plenty already and I’m trying to reduce the amount of plastic in our lives as much as possible. I don't want more plastic toys that might only get played with once or end up being thrown away.

I can’t really ask for books either: my kids already have 300+ and we go to the library regularly (both DH and I read for a living, so our house is basically a library itself). There’s also a very good chance we’d end up with books she already has.

I could ask for a £5 donation towards something she really wants, but she gets so excited about receiving presents that I feel a bit bad about her having nothing to open.

I was thinking of putting something on the invitation along the lines of “no plastic toys, please”. I would be more than happy with second-hand wooden toys (Vinted etc.), craft things or similar. But I’m worried people might find this annoying or feel it’s an inconvenience.

What would you put on the invitation?

We are a plastic free house hold. Thank you

Puffsox · 05/09/2026 19:43

I agree. Your close friends will know about your feelings. Open presents if you don't know what is inside, rewrap for daughter to open if OK. If not, donate to charity shop.