What wording for invitations when asking for no plastic toy gifts?

[Nocommentisacomment]

My DD will be 5 soon and I’m planning a birthday party for around 15 children.

People have always been incredibly generous with gifts, which is lovely, but she really does have plenty already and I’m trying to reduce the amount of plastic in our lives as much as possible. I don't want more plastic toys that might only get played with once or end up being thrown away.

I can’t really ask for books either: my kids already have 300+ and we go to the library regularly (both DH and I read for a living, so our house is basically a library itself). There’s also a very good chance we’d end up with books she already has.

I could ask for a £5 donation towards something she really wants, but she gets so excited about receiving presents that I feel a bit bad about her having nothing to open.

I was thinking of putting something on the invitation along the lines of “no plastic toys, please”. I would be more than happy with second-hand wooden toys (Vinted etc.), craft things or similar. But I’m worried people might find this annoying or feel it’s an inconvenience.

What would you put on the invitation?

Why does it have to be plastic crap or a book?

There are so many other options. I’ve gifted plenty of craft kits, gardening kits, seeds, plant-growing kits, baking kits, art supplies, wooden toys, etc. before.

If you actually did some research, you’d be surprised by how many parents are looking for gifts like I am. There are plenty of plastic-free options out there, but people seem to think in such a limited way: plastic or books.

That’s exactly the problem — it’s not that there aren’t alternatives; people just don’t think beyond those two options.

You could create an Amazon wish list, with your wooden toys on and put the link on th invite. do a selection of price points and you can include books, board games etc.

i wouldn’t personally write the plastic bit as it sounds judgy without nuance. Because mass produced wooden toys are as harmful to the environment, can be coated in toxic dyes etc. also some plastic toys eg hoovers, Lego, magnatiles are multiuse - proven learning benefits and will spark imagination. So to categorise these in one big group with things like plastic tat sounds a bit extreme. You can donate the plastic toys or sell on vinted, same thing we do when we receive things we don’t need.

Just say "no presents necessary" or "in lieu of presents, please donate to x charity if you would ilke"

It is incredibly rude to specify anything about potential gifts surely you know this? I feel older and older every day with the absolute lack of manners today ( I am not that old). By stipulating details about gifts you are also assuming gifts will be given which is rude in itself.

I think you obviously know your guests best so I’m not sure why you asked? Other people would find it rude, your circle clearly does this as standard so just do that. Not sure why you asked really.

Your daughter will likely get into and out of about a thousand things in the next few years so no need to worry if she doesn’t immediately love something. She might come back around to it, she’s still tiny.

I think totally fair to be specific if anyone asks though! I always do. You can then say wooden food for her kitchen or whatever.

You say nothing and smile gratefully, then you donate unwanted gifts or put them aside for regifting. I used to take particularly big or noisy toys to playgroup so my kids could play with them once a week!

If those are the type of things you've gifted (crafts, gardening, baking etc) and you say your daughter likes outdoor play....why do you want wooden toys?
Why not suggest those types of gifts - if you do want to suggest things.

So sanctimonious 🤦‍♀️

The OP does is not from a western culture. She is not British and has no idea how nuanced British culture, customs and manners are and that it’s very bad manners to try to prescribe the nature of gifts in this way.

”If you’re thinking of getting X a present- some
art and craft materials would be wonderful!

cant you put something like if you’re stuck for ideas “ child’s name “ has a recent interest in arts and crafts and gifts in that child would be most appreciated.

If you were concerned about the environment then you would have had a smaller party so that the potential for plastic tat was minimised.

If my child received an invitation with no plastic toys then I’d be stumped. My go to gifts for 5 year old girls is stuff like craft kits (beads are often plastic and there’s often plastic packaging), a Lego mini figure blind pack to go with a book or something (Lego is plastic and packaged in plastic) or a colouring book and set of gel pens (plastic pens) Tbh I would associate wooden toys with younger kids tbh and I would opt for plastic for a classmate as budget is obviously lower than if it was my child.

Gardening sets are only useful if you have a garden or it’s the right time of year to plant things.

I'm not sure why the OP is finding it so hard to accept that many people think that it is rude to give direction on gifts - and that ranges from 'monetary gifts only" to "only gifts worth 50 pounds or more" to "no plastic tat please" to "nothing from Temu please" Many of us who don't buy tat or from temu will still think something like this on an invitation is rude. It is clear OP doesn't think it is rude so I have no idea why she posted - do you really need wording OP? How about "please no plastic gifts" short, to the point - and I would think it rude but you don't so you do you.

And I feel older and older every day seeing the sheer level of ignorance around us.

If you don’t have anything useful to suggest, that’s absolutely fine, but I don’t understand why asking for ideas suddenly turns into an argument about whether I’m allowed to have an opinion on what people might actually appreciate.

But I, and others on here, did have useful suggestions. You just discarded them because they weren't what you wanted to hear.

No gifts, phrased however you want, is absolutely fine (and I agree, is code for something crafty). No plastic tat, phrased however you want, makes you sound like an irritating twat.

If you're so sure on how to go about this, and you've seen it before, why ask for advice?

Nothing. It's rude to specify gifts.

In my country, people would be like, “Okay, I get it : I’ll get something without plastic.” No drama, no offence taken.

All of this is so strange to me. I came here to ask for ideas on how to phrase a simple request, and somehow here we are.

It sounds like it would be worth listening to the advice of mums mostly from a western culture, who are saying it’s not the norm to dictate what gift you are given, from school friends at least. Family and close friends often ask what would they like, and then it’s totally appropriate to say ‘no more plastic please’.

But I’d see that as pretty rude on a school party invite. I don’t want temu toys either but I’d just accept graciously.

Is there anything she is beginning to get into that you could ask for as a positive rather than negative request? So, ‘xxxx loves drawing and would like more coloured pencils’ or xxxx is collecting model dinosaurs’.

I think it’s fine to give examples of the type of things your child is into, but “no plastics, no books” is going to put a lot of people off. You’re completely overestimating the headspace / time people have to devote to getting a gift for a random classmate.

I actually think this is a good idea. Many of the parents who’s children came to my daughters birthday party earlier this month actually messaged to see what she would like and my daughter was over the moon with the gifts she received because I’d told them the things she likes/doesn’t already have - they don’t need to be expensive, just well thought out.

In my opinion your request is just like someone saying they don’t want slime being brought into their homes. I’d respect you for telling me and know I’m actually buying something the child will get use out of, rather than wasting my limited money on something that will just go to waste.

Noone wants to trawl Vinted for wooden toys and do you really want 15 craft sets. Just say no gifts.

Lots of us who do have similar views would find it offensive to be told on an invite that they are expected to put special time and thought into selecting the perfect 'acceptable' gift for a 5 year old.

As I've said, I'm not a fan of plastic tat - I do have similar views - therefore, I have always made an effort to steer our gifts towards art supplies or similar. But I have three children and that adds up to lots of parties. If I was time or cash poor, which a lot of parents are, I'd really resent being dictated to that way.

People buy small LEGO sets to a book specifically so they don’t have to think about it. No one cares about some rando class soft play party, they order something quick on Amazon or pick something up from the supermarket while doing their food shopping.
The effort is directly related to the relationship, which for a 5 year olds party is minimal.
Seeds, plants or baking kits aren’t better for many kids, you’re just being fussy but when someone else buys a gift you don’t get to pick it down to a t.

I think this would be perfect. You could add in "or a packet of seeds for the garden" given that she enjoys gardening too, and most people would read into this that you don't want or need anything plastic / large. I agree that "no plastic toys" does sound rather judgmental, even though I would personally be sympathetic: it implies that other people have cheaper and nastier taste than you, which is never well received - even if you think it is accurate...