What wording for invitations when asking for no plastic toy gifts?

[Nocommentisacomment]

My DD will be 5 soon and I’m planning a birthday party for around 15 children.

People have always been incredibly generous with gifts, which is lovely, but she really does have plenty already and I’m trying to reduce the amount of plastic in our lives as much as possible. I don't want more plastic toys that might only get played with once or end up being thrown away.

I can’t really ask for books either: my kids already have 300+ and we go to the library regularly (both DH and I read for a living, so our house is basically a library itself). There’s also a very good chance we’d end up with books she already has.

I could ask for a £5 donation towards something she really wants, but she gets so excited about receiving presents that I feel a bit bad about her having nothing to open.

I was thinking of putting something on the invitation along the lines of “no plastic toys, please”. I would be more than happy with second-hand wooden toys (Vinted etc.), craft things or similar. But I’m worried people might find this annoying or feel it’s an inconvenience.

What would you put on the invitation?

So you would never allow your child to have Lego?? Magnatiles?

This is such an internet weirdo thing, the reality is wooden toys get less and less age appropriate for a 5+ year old child.
It gives a real naivety to just rule out plastic toys.

Jesus.

My children have Lego, magnetic blocks and all of those things. Why is it so difficult for people to understand that I simply don’t want any more?

And those aren’t even the toys she will be receiving.

It’s sad that you think a parent trying to avoid months and months of plastic crap accumulating in their house means their child is somehow having a sad upbringing.

Donate toys you dont want or ask for no gifts.
Or say she is saving for X.

Saying no to some types of gift will make you look mannerless and snobbish.

So what's wrong with, 'no gifts please'?

Seriously ?
She literally doesn't play with Lego, Playmobil, Sylvanians, Cars, Happyland, Dolls.....or are you not considering those plastic "crap".
Really.
Just say "no gifts" if it worries you that much.
Edit : I see she does play with them. Apologies.
But if you don't need anymore toys then you don't need wooden ones either.

I have explained in my post.

Did you?
I might have missed it.
Why can't you say "no gifts".

Can you re-explain? I must have missed it.

Wow.

As I’ve said about five times now, my child already has all of those things.

She won’t be receiving a £20 Lego set: she’ll most likely get a cheap Temu toy. That’s a huge difference.

I apologised if you noticed my edit.
We cross-posted.

If you dictated what type of gift to buy I'd think badly of you if my child were attending. At that age I'd often regift something expensive or good quality which is also an ethical choice.

If you are so bothered about "tat" just request no gifts. Everyone gets a lot of tat from birthday parties.

Where do the months and months come into it? I think it's sadder that an adult can be so ungrateful as to assume any gift given to their child is just 'crap'. You've asked the question, unfortunately you don't agree with the answers, which is fine.

I said I want her to be able to open presents.

Also, I’m not from a Western culture, so it would be very bizarre for people to arrive at a birthday party and not bring anything. We’ll have plenty of people who aren’t from the UK, and that simply won’t work.

I’ve been to birthday parties where the invitation specifically asked for things like money, books, or gardening-related gifts. It’s weird how so many of these Mumsnet commenters seem to have never encountered anything like this.

You cannot dictate other people's choices - certainly not what they spend money on.

You can keep your own principles by choosing what you buy for others though

Not all plastic is bad in a way as it's very longevity can be good. Our Duplo and Lego did both my kids, and is now headed towards my third grandchild. Just suggest nothing or cash for a bigger purchase so that you reduce the amount of temu crap.

Lol if you say no plastic toys people will roll their eyes! But that's ok! We all hate plastic tat and every parent thinks about this. But usually children get lego, magnatiles etc for birthday gifts? Or play doh or whatever
I've never got Temu gifts at a party

Just donate them to the next children's party. It's important when your kid is 5 you don't alienate their classmates parents as they are the ones who organise play dates at this age and you're stuffed if they don't like you! You'll be having mostly all class ones for a while.

If someone only has the budget for "cheap temu tat" then tbey arent suddenly going to find the budget for some ethically sourced wooden toy instead.

Honestly it depends on the audience - family it’s fine but school parents it is just a hassle.

this is a good age to teach her that getting a pile of presents to open is just a dopamine hit (age appropriately) and the party is about enjoying time with your guests and she will get presents for her birthday from her family.

we Used to open and then put them away as there was invariably one the child liked and then they would either be regifted or charity shopped after the thank you cards had been written.

I used to hate the party bags too!!

I understand the environmental impact and wanting to manage not adding to that.

I think the problem here is first, telling people what not to do with no guidance on what to do instead makes it difficult for them, and second, it’s not your birthday it’s your daughter’s, and I don’t know any child who would say they have enough. Every child I know enjoys opening gifts!

You could change your stance slightly? Instead of “no plastic gifts”, I would write something like “(Child) would be thrilled with any small gift, but please choose something that could eventually be donated or used again by another child in future. As a family we are trying to reduce our environmental impact.”
That would hopefully filter out the sort of plastic junk that breaks after one use.

@Nocommentisacomment you want her to open presents.
Ok.
But that kind of goes against having "too much stuff" and doesn't "need any more".
It's up to you.
Either you will have to accept what she is gifted or stand firm with no gifts.
(Temu sell wooden toys too so that's no guarantee they are ethical)

Just ask for no gifts and give your child your pre-approved gifts for her to open.

You can’t have things both ways.

If you're as generally unpleasant and unable to take in feedback as you seem to be on this thread, I guess I can see why you needed advice on how to word this. And if you've been at the receiving end of those kind of requests, why not copy those as a model?

Quite honestly, I think you're going to have to make a choice between your DD being able to open presents and irritating people. I guess you could either wrap up family presents and have her open them at the party? Or tell her that the gifts are a family thing?

I'm not a fan of plastic tat myself, and try to avoid buying it for other people's kids, but I'd find your request performative and irritating. No gifts, however, wouldn't bother me. It's also one day a year. Surely you can donate the garbage and live your life according to your values the other 364 days?

I think you need a positive thing you’re asking for (“X loves crafts so any arty presents would be great” would probably be fine and I would personally appreciate the steer because with young children it can be hard to know what to get, and your own child is often no good at knowing what their friend might like) rather than a negative.
“Please no plastic toys” come across as a bit “don’t buy my child the plastic crap you’re probably planning”. And I say that as someone who also doesn’t really like the plastic birthday party toys my child receives!

Just donate the crap stuff to a charity shop or put it in the regifting cupboard like everybody else does.

Maybe it's a cultural thing, OP.

In the UK, it would be fine to request no gifts but rude to dictate what type of gifts aren't welcome. If asking for no plastic is fine in your culture, why are you asking MN for opinions?

Most British people will find your request a bit snobby and entitled. If you think it's fine for the people that you are inviting then crack on.