What wording for invitations when asking for no plastic toy gifts?

[Nocommentisacomment]

My DD will be 5 soon and I’m planning a birthday party for around 15 children.

People have always been incredibly generous with gifts, which is lovely, but she really does have plenty already and I’m trying to reduce the amount of plastic in our lives as much as possible. I don't want more plastic toys that might only get played with once or end up being thrown away.

I can’t really ask for books either: my kids already have 300+ and we go to the library regularly (both DH and I read for a living, so our house is basically a library itself). There’s also a very good chance we’d end up with books she already has.

I could ask for a £5 donation towards something she really wants, but she gets so excited about receiving presents that I feel a bit bad about her having nothing to open.

I was thinking of putting something on the invitation along the lines of “no plastic toys, please”. I would be more than happy with second-hand wooden toys (Vinted etc.), craft things or similar. But I’m worried people might find this annoying or feel it’s an inconvenience.

What would you put on the invitation?

But you can't dictate what other people buy your child you just can't. Not without sounding like a complete control freak anyway

Just say no presents. There's nothing rude about saying that you don't want something.
"No plastic presents" is rude because it implies a request for a "better" present.

I would accept whatever gift comes your child's way

Plastic is very durable - my sons are now in their 40s and some of their toys lasted their childhood and that of my grandchildren. Those toys brought so many hours of joy to a lot of children

Don't be so precious - the toys have already been manufactured and have to go somewhere!

Did you never have the big Fisher Price teapot, a tea set, Star Wars figures, Lego, etc?

I don’t know if you have Instagram OP but this page is useful for ideas on how to deal with things like this and how to phrase it in party invites

I think how will things change if we don’t start making this a (commercial) need…so I’d say something like we love the sea and hate the idea of the plastic patch bigger than whatever it is now bigger and micro plastics in our bloodstreams… a non plastic gift would be welcome.

If 2 guests asking companies for non plastic children’s gifts …change begins…result 🥰🌅

This. You literally cannot specify what gifts like this, people WILL be offended.

Thank you.

Most of the comments here make it sound as though my child is sitting in a corner crying because she is being deprived of plastic toys and is somehow neglected as a result.

She actually has plenty of plastic toys. The difference is that she simply isn’t particularly interested in them. What she genuinely enjoys is being outside, especially gardening, as well as doing crafts and getting involved in hands-on activities.

She is not avoiding plastic toys because I forbid them or because I don’t provide them. She has access to them; she naturally prefers other things.

OP, it’s a touchy subject because people buy “plastic tat” because:

-It’s cheap, and they want to bring a present but can’t afford much. Loads of class parties get expensive.
-They’ve let their child choose and children are terrible for falling for the hype on boxes. Or their child likes the brand or wherever. Or likes the toy.
-They think it will be fun and your child will like it.

Or various other reasons. Basically it sounds equivalent to saying “no cheap presents please”. It is harder to come up with ideas that cost £5-7 that aren’t a book, aren’t food, aren’t “plastic tat” in a big box. Not impossible of course, but harder especially when people don’t actually know your child well personally.

I would suggest speaking to a couple of the parents you know better, and mentioning that your daughter is saving up for x, or y - basically something people could club together on. Getting people to join together to buy one larger thing is the best way to avoid lots of small things you don’t want. But it’s generally considered a bit rude to “dictate” friends presents, so you need to chat in person to a couple of the parents you know better and like, and see if they can get the word out?

Alternatively, save them up and donate to a charity shop.

Just accept all gifts gratefully and then squirrel them away for regifts, charity donations or car boot sales. It doesn’t have to be difficult. They’re in this phase for a few short years.

The point is, there is no polite way to ask. Unless you say no gifts. So nobody can give you the right wording because it will sound rude and entitled no matter how you phrase it.

But based on the way you've reacted to the feedback on this thread, I suspect people are probably quite used you being rude, so maybe it doesn't matter.

Lots of gardening items and crafts things are made of plastic. Does she reject these too?

Also, how can she tell what's plastic and what isn't at 5 yo? Does she have any objections to recycled plastic?

They biodegrade though.

I find it odd that so many are saying 'say no gifts' when OP has already explained that that's not a feasible option for her daughter.

I don't think there'd be anything wrong with stipulating something such as 'Sophie is really into X Y and Z at the moment, if anyone is stuck as to what to give as a present however please know we appreciate anything!'

Anything that isn't wanted or played with--charity shop or donate to a refuge or organisation for disadvantaged children.

This!!! Thank you!

I don’t understand this whole “just deal with the plastic” or “ask for no gifts” argument. The latter wouldn’t work anyway, because everyone is going to bring something regardless.

I also feel like I’m surrounded by parents who have very similar views to mine, so I honestly don’t think they would find this nearly as offensive as some of the Mumsnet posters seem to think.

This!

If you regularly receive invitations that say similar to what you’re trying to say then just use the same wording surely?

Or OP could ask for no gifts and then buy sustainable gifts herself for her DD

Well, you know your audience. If you think they won’t eye roll or whatever, then tell them.

Plastic children's toys can pose hidden health and safety risks due to toxic chemical additives, poor manufacturing, and material degradation. 1, 2]
Chemical Risks

• Phthalates: Used to soften PVC plastic, these chemicals can disrupt hormone systems, impair development, and affect reproductive health. 1]
• Bisphenols (BPA): Found in some hard or transparent plastics, BPA interferes with endocrine functions and normal growth. 1, 2]
• Toxic Heavy Metals: Lead, cadmium, and barium—often found in cheap paints or older/secondhand plastics—can cause neurological and organ damage. 1, 2]
• Flame Retardants: Added to plastic components, these compounds are linked to hormone disruption and neurodevelopmental harm. 1, 2]

Physical and Counterfeit Hazards

• Counterfeit Soft Toys: Fake "squishies" or trend-based toys often bypass safety standards and can split or leak toxic chemicals, or contain hazardous components like expanding water beads. 1, 2]
• Degradation: Older or heavily chewed plastic toys can shed microplastics and leach

Maybe a collectible book collection OP? Plastics are scary

Please educate yourself about plastic before making fun of others.

Well if they have similar views surely they won't produce a present made of plastic?

My sons bday is December 18th so a week before Christmas. So I was very aware money was extremely tight ro none existent for some and always wrote "no presents please your child attending is enough".

Why when their DD would like the joy of gifts and it would just take a moments thought ..like beautiful ribbon, craft supplies or……

Because the clear alternative to plastic toys is a nice book, but you don’t want those either.
In your OP claim to want wooden toy sets from Vinted.
You’re being so prescriptive it’s one step away from sending a gift registry with the invite.

It you think no one invited would listen to the “no gift” request, why would they listen to “no plastic, no books”?

Maybe you could lend Gleba a book from your extensive home library.

If you have too many toys, perhaps ask people to donate to a well-run children's charity instead of bringing gifts? You can investigate some local charities as well and if they are well run you can consider naming a local charity versus a larger national charity.

"Your presence is the best present of all. In lieu of gifts, I’d be honored if you could make a donation to [charity]."

I’m more interested in how you “read for a living”. Please share op.