Life expectancy sent by email - relative

[BillStickersIsInnocent]

Hi, I hope someone can help.

I’m really shocked by this communication but I could well be missing something. A relative received an email after a CT scan saying he had inoperable lung cancer and giving him 2 years to live. 2 weeks later another email saying his scan had been sent to another clinician who has concluded he has 8 months to live.
This feels so cruel, I would have thought these conversations happen face to face or at least over the phone where you can ask questions.
Does anyone else have any experience of this type of communication?

Suspect he really won’t want to do this for obvious reasons ….

Thanks all, I will think on this a bit more.

What I would do, though, is write and date a note that goes through the full sequence of events - I know you have a lot of that on this thread, but a document you can refer back to if you need it (and can't very well forward a link to social services saying 'have a gander at this lot).

That’s a really good idea @tribpot, I will do that.

Make sure you screenshot the messages as well - if this happened over WhatsApp, I can imagine the dad deleting everything or being encouraged by the son to do so.

Sounds to me like a cruel joke. Contact the.oncologist.

If by some chance an oncologist actually exists they won’t tell an outside party anything whatsoever.

Please read the OP's posts on the thread @Stewball01 and @AppleDumplingWithCustard . The whole thing was a hoax perpetrated by the supposed cancer patient on his parents. There is no oncologist.

Absolutely, it really raises my blood pressure when posters don't think..... oh maybe somewhere in the past 550+ posts this has been suggested already, or maybe even there's been an update from the op.

RTFT!

@tribpot @SmallAngryPenguinWoman. I have RTFT from the start hence my saying ‘if by some chance an oncologist actually exists.’ I know there’s no oncologist. I was being sardonic but you obviously missed this. So thank you but I don’t need your advice. Hope your blood-pressure soon reduces to a normal level.

My FIL had a smartphone, albeit it fairly old and cheap. He didn't have an email account. I think I may have set one up for him years ago but he certainly never used it. Mil has an email and all of their emails went through that, but she did it all. Doubt FIL ever wrote an email himself, ever.
My grandad on one side and my other grandmother on the other had fairly basic smartphones bought for them. Neither had email accounts.

For some older people that isn't overly uncommon I don't think.

You cant use google without having an account

You can use google without logging in to an email account.
Our school computers for pupils are used for Google most days and do not have an email account attached to them. You can do Google searches but can't use other services like google drive, some of the map features, Google meet, etc.

Somebody's playing a cruel joke. Never would supply news like that.

@Stewball01 Read the thread, not just the first post.

Where is the humanity in that?

Callous, inhumane and unethical........these people call themselves heath care professionals.

I have seen animals treated with a lot more care and compassion.

The nhs is in shocking state at the moment..... someone needs to remind them they are treating sentient beings. Human beings and not inanimate objects.

Have you read the thread? Or even OP’s updates?

Hello I thought I’d update on all this.

The father is still convinced that his son has cancer, because he has lost weight and is ‘going downhill’. I don’t think it’ll make any difference what I say.

I know the lies were never really plausible but they are ridiculous now:

The son said that he had booked an appointment with his GP, but the receptionist called the morning of the appointment to cancel (of course) and say that the GP had booked him for another scan and to wait for a letter from the hospital. Now that seems to have been forgotten about as he’s tried to make another appointment (with the GP) to ‘sort all this out’ but they can’t see him until June. Conveniently. There’s another running story about frequent cancellations to the dental hospital too and how he’s been hoaxed all along with that too!

I sort of regret the scam angle but at least it opened the conversation with the father.

The sad thing is that the father will believe him whatever bollocks he spouts.

I have drafted a letter to SS but I honestly don’t know what they can do, there isn’t any abuse taking place as far as I can tell.

I think I need to ask for this thread to be moved too, it’s not fair having this in this topic.

They’ve moved it to elderly parents, that was super quick!

Oh no. I really thought this has been put to bed and everyone had agreed that there was no cancer just some bizarre prank by forces unknown. I don't get why the son is still pursuing this angle, he must realise at some point he is going to fail to die (or somewhat sooner, fail to receive any treatment).

What's happened to 'Macmillan', are they now part of the scam element of the story?

I don't think you need to do anything for the parents at this point, do you? They are distressing themselves unnecessarily but are essentially choosing to do so to avoid facing the truth about their son. I would just leave them to get on with it, hard though it is.

I wonder if it's worth calling social services, I just don't see what they can do at the moment. Good idea to have the thread moved.

Hugs @BillStickersIsInnocent.....you have done your best. This has probably been how they have always operated

@tribpot Macmillan haven’t been mentioned again. I imagine he’s claiming that was all a scam too.

I wonder if he’s told his friends/people he knows about the scam. I suspect not. If he’s still claiming 8 months to live I wonder what on Earth he’ll do as his demise was scheduled for Christmas.

Ugh. I thought the parents were starting to see the light. I'm sorry to hear that that was very short lived.

Yes, I'd call social services. It may not do any good, but I think you need to do everything you can. If nothing else you'll be able to live with yourself, knowing that you did everything possible..

I shouldn't laugh but 'demise scheduled for Christmas' really did get me 🤣

@GracieGracieGracie I have to laugh at the ridiculousness of it all, there have been lots of tears too but I think I’m feeling more balanced about it now!