Life expectancy sent by email - relative

[BillStickersIsInnocent]

Hi, I hope someone can help.

I’m really shocked by this communication but I could well be missing something. A relative received an email after a CT scan saying he had inoperable lung cancer and giving him 2 years to live. 2 weeks later another email saying his scan had been sent to another clinician who has concluded he has 8 months to live.
This feels so cruel, I would have thought these conversations happen face to face or at least over the phone where you can ask questions.
Does anyone else have any experience of this type of communication?

He's absolutely manipulating them, probably for money to 'do everything he wants to before he dies'. Scum.

Thank you all for your help

In which case I wouldn't believe anything he said.

Do hospitals actually have your e-mail addresses anyway?

Your relative is not telling the truth. If this were the case he would be too face to face. In my experience the oncologists are unlikely to a specific anyway as they don’t know. They’re more likely to say “ in my experience most people with this condition tend to live about x months on average but we don’t know for sure and some will be longer, some shorted” often they’ll decline to give a time line unless treatment has come to an end and the patient has deteriorated and again, they’ll often say “this in incurable but we can treat it and this treatment tends to ge effective in x% cases and on average works for X long before we try y and z.

Do you know for definite he even had a CT scan?

I think he'll be looking for money for a holiday of a lifetime soon.

I would tell him, in front of his parents, that whatever has been sent to him has come from fraudsters as it’s not how medical practice works in this country. Hopefully saying it will reassure his parents a little.

@TempNCforthis no. Nobody went with him.

Presumably they know what he’s like but are in denial.
They will probably choose the believe this latest scam too unfortunately and OP will end up as the bad guy.

Would a clinician refer to another doctor as a “top oncologist”?

No. Doctors speak more formally than that. They would say " I'm referring you to a highly regarded oncologist".

My Dad died of cancer earlier this year and he never had any medical information sent via email. Any diagnosis/prognosis was done face to face.

Massive scam but what can you do?

DH was told less than 6 months at diagnosis but that was for PIP purposes.

That is just not done.

How close are you to the elderly parents? Could you go and talk to them about your suspicions?

@LakeTiticaca pretty close but I don’t think I could do that, stakes are too high.

I worked with someone who told her entire village that she had a brain tumour. The whole place rallied behind her and paid for once in a lifetime type holiday for her and her family. The whole thing was a lie. So red flags here are his past history, no-one went with him to verify it and he's not forwarded the supposed emails. Step wayy back from this. It won't end well

Could you go around to visit the 3 of them and while you are there ring the MacMillian Cancer Trust to seek their guidance on how you guys can support him as a family.

You could include the words "we are all so shocked as he wasn't told face to face, he just got some emails" Put them on speaker phone.

@LadyMacbethssweetArabianhand what happened when she was found out?
I’m just thinking about how this may pan out.

@IAteAllTheTomatoes I have actually forwarded their helpline number to the family as I was surprised he hadn’t been offered support. There has been a macmillan referral apparently but this has been repeatedly cancelled by the nurses and another appointment hasn’t been booked.

What stakes are those ?

The other thing that bothers me is that he hasn’t been given any details of the type of cancer (beyond basic organ type) or grade or stage. Or whether it has spread. He seems to think this info will come with the macmillan nurses but that sounds very off to me. Unless of course he has been told this but is in denial about it or has forgotten.

@Hoppinggreen what if I’m wrong? It would ruin my relationship with the parents and I love them
very much.