ExH threatening to call police

[RBush22]

I am due to move out with my 2 children next week, 1 hour drive away to my mum's house. I have made this known to exH since September, we went to mediation in October only for it to stall as mediator backed my plan and his was totally unreasonable. I then got a solicitor who has written him 2 letters explaining my move and trying to get him to agree - he/his solicitor has disagreed to everything giving no reasons as to why. My solicitor has told me I am not "relocating" so I don't need his permission.

He never applied for a prohibited steps order (PSO) and the latest letter from his solicitor today is that if I do move with the children, exH will phone the police immediately and he will apply to the court urgently (to get them returned).

I am still shaking - is this just fear mongering? Has this happened to anyone?

He can say whatever he likes, but if he tries to physically prevent her from doing so you have cause to call 911. It's on record now that he is causing trouble and they've already told him his bullshit is not a police matter, so they should send somebody out to deal with him. It might be a way to get rid of him temporarily so you can move in peace.
So if he lays a hand on any of you, please call immediately. Be safe.

You mean 999, surely.
911 is US...

Apologies. I live in Canada.

I hope you and your DC are ok @RBush22

We have moved!! He called the police on me this morning and they told him they have no powers….

What an absolute twat. I thought they were going to have a word with him? Did they do that?

They did yesterday after I phoned them after feeling threatened. Then today he phoned them. Hopefully the last time he calls them…….

Hopefully he gets over it now he hasn’t got his own way . Hope you are very happy in your new home 🏠

I hope you laughed at hard!

Keep your front door locked and the key in your pocket.. Dc may innocently let him in if he finds out where you live. My exh followed our removal van.. Sad bastard....

So glad that you're out safely!

This is your first day of feeling happy and safe.

Did you apply for that Non-Molestation Order yet? It sounds as you definitely have grounds and it should go in your favour when you the application for a Child Arrangements Order starts

That is such good advice. If you can get a deadlock fitted and some cameras too.

It feels so warm and safe here!! I’m so happy to have got through this. It’s not the end as no Child arrangements order yet and nothing agreed but so nice to have the head space and not made to feel like a criminal!!

Definitely do that Non-Mol application though

Well done! So pleased to hear you have moved.

Wonderful news!

Hope waking up and realising you're in your own place was a good feeling

Thank you for all the support!! Even though it feels good, ex is still trying to control me by sending me messages… he is saying he doesn’t know where the children are (untrue- he knows full well), doesn’t know when he can see them (untrue- I said he can come tomorrow to see them for his birthday) and that I have taken some of his possessions (everything I have taken are the children’s, albeit some clothes/games that were from his family). He has also lied that he is going to make an urgent application to the court on Monday (I know his solicitors are closed and the police told him yesterday he has no chance, though he may still try).
I’m now having my doubts about allowing him to come here tomorrow - he might end up raiding the house and taking away things he deems are his. It’s true we have no agreement as to when he can see the children - but I have concerns about his ability to care for them so any contact needs to be supervised in my opinion until a court decides otherwise….
I wish I could block him but I fear I need to be available to show I’m open to giving him access to the children. I worry he’ll never leave me alone!!

I wish I could block him but I fear I need to be available to show I’m open to giving him access to the children. I worry he’ll never leave me alone

You can block him. Set up an email address today on something like Google Mail and give him the address. Say that if he wants to contact you he's to email that address and you'll only respond to messages that directly relate to the care of your DC.

You don't have to respond to any accusations. He's only trying to upset you. Treat him like a toddler and only give him attention if he's saying something constructive.

Personally there's not a cat in hells chance I'd let him have the DC tomorrow

Can your mum be there tomorrow when he comes over, how does he know where to come if he claims you haven't told him. Tell him the children are with you, would he like to facetine them, with you watching of course. Keep the messages, screenshot in case he deletes them. Perhaps reply with a timetable, you will be at xxxx at time, xxxx later if he wants to come over or would he like to meet somewhere instead. Ask him for a list of items he claims you've taken and put them aside. Is his mum supporting you, can she be there too? I wouldn't meet him on my own, would record when he arrives and leaves, do not leave keys around.

Actually pp is right, block him, set up an email and don't respond to any threats, keep a paper trail.

I don't want to seem alarmist but if he keeps the DC tomorrow he can do that, just keep them and the Police won't help you to get them back.

Have you applied for the non-Molestation Order yet?

I wouldn't be allowing him into the house, I'd meet at a cafe or somewhere neutral. Also echo the setting up an email address for communication purposes, but ignore any non children stuff. Just answer factually.

Meet ups in public places only. Why the heck you even considered having him in your safe space I don't know! Your mh and the safety of you all overrules any 'rights' he is shouting about.... Let a judge deem him fit to see them.

I’m now going to propose a coffee shop as I feel safer with that and too cold for the park!